mystic topaz // d1 // fin

Deleted 0 POSTS last seen Sept 23, 2024 5:28:59 GMT -5	mystic topaz // d1 // fin Mar 19, 2015 20:15:13 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Deleted on Mar 19, 2015 20:15:13 GMT -5 mystic topaz // fifteen // female // district one // oDair
	Last Edit: Mar 21, 2015 16:37:09 GMT -5 by Deleted

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mystic topaz // d1 // fin Mar 19, 2015 22:46:17 GMT -5

Post by Deleted on Mar 19, 2015 22:46:17 GMT -5

I can feel sweat on my hands despite the crisp, chilly air around me. My tan skin is hot despite the drops of dew on blades of dull green grass beneath my small feet. It's barely sunrise and I have already been training for hours. It's all I do nowadays, it's all I've ever done. Throw small, silver throwing knives at a target that's a wooden excuse for a person. Stab a spear at an impostor of timber.

I grab another knife and grip it like it holds my life. In a way, it does. I take deep breaths to prepare myself, and then I yank my elbow backwards and chuck it towards my target. It's carved enough like a human I can tell what body part I'm aiming towards, but nothing much else. Nothing much else matters, nothing besides all the bodies I'm going to shred after they draw my name from that glass bowl.

I throw knives for hours on end, until all the dew has melted and the sun is slowly dropping from the sky, but still shining ultraviolet rays down on me as I fail to hit my mark over and over again. There is no thrill in practicing anymore, only days of attacking something that will never respond. I want to slice real skin and bones. I want to feel the adrenaline rush of someone's death from my hands, I can only imagine how great it feels when I see careers on television, seeing them live my dream. I can't deny I'm envious.

Label me as you will, but I won't listen. Vicious. Murderous. Bloodthirsty. I've heard all of it before and I don't care. All I care about is these hours of training not going to waste. You've probably heard it before: seconds turn into minutes, minutes turn into hours, hours turn into days, days to weeks, weeks to months, months to years, and so on. But it's true. I sound eighty saying this, but it really does feel like just yesterday when my father first let me pick up a knife on my twelfth birthday. Ever since, I've been obsessed.

Sometimes I wonder about myself. It's almost hard to remember what I was like before I became obsessed with training, even though it has only been three years. I remember spending lots of time with my mother, sitting next to her in luxurious furniture, at least luxurious for a district home, and her stroking my short, messy, dirty blonde hair. It looks the same now as it looked back then, when I was a little girl snuggled next to her, not really understanding what was happening as we watched teenagers fighting to the death right in front of us.

I remember things more recently, too. I remember complaining to her about my stick-like figure that I still have, and the zits that of course are still on my face (not the same ones, but you get my point). I wish I had cherished those moments more than I had, because all I know now is training. I remember telling her I wanted to be a career and I remember the look on her face when she gazed at my dull gray eyes, the look that I didn't understand, and I still don't understand. What I do understand, however, is that my lack of real friends is made up for with my close family.

I groan as I miss my mark yet again, and instead head back into our relatively large home. I walk straight to my bedroom to put up the small knives and turn to the mirror. I'm not very happy with how thin I am. It's not from lack of eating, but from excess exercising. I wipe bright lipstick off of my long, thin lips with the back of my tiny hands, then wipe sweat away from one of my thin eyebrows with the other bony wrist.

My heart is running faster than a mutant on twelve cups of coffee, but I gather up enough energy to fall backwards on my bed and straighten out my uneven breaths. It wasn't even night, but I was exhausted enough that eventually my eyelids shut, and the process would repeat all over again the next day.

Last Edit: Mar 21, 2015 16:35:52 GMT -5 by Deleted

Deleted 0 POSTS last seen Sept 23, 2024 5:28:59 GMT -5	mystic topaz // d1 // fin Mar 21, 2015 16:37:25 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2015 16:37:25 GMT -5 Finished!

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mystic topaz // d1 // fin Mar 23, 2015 2:49:43 GMT -5

Post by Deleted on Mar 23, 2015 2:49:43 GMT -5

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