sunset {merlin oneshot}

The night is cruel. I can hear monsters making their way past the ally to which I've taken shelter for the better part of a week. There's a mattress there, white as the night and riddled with holes. And it probably smells as awful as I do and looks about as clean too. No one often ventures down this alley, riddled with broken bottles and never absent of the constant skitter of claws against concrete. The whole of my body is curled up on on itself and I try to pretend that I so not feel bald tails upon my hands as I lay still as possible. 

I've learned, in my months of belonging nowhere, that being nothing is the best way to survive. I put up no fight when three men ripped five hundred dollars from my palm. Made not a sound as another cornered me in an ally, pulling at the waist of my pants before a passing peacekeeper scared him away. It's simply not worth the pain to struggle and so I do not. But it's still there, trapped within my eyes every passing reflection. Fear. I can taste it upon my tongue as I often have nothing else to taste. 

When I was a child it was the sunset that scared me. The uncertainty of it all. Being plunged into sudden unknown without a hand to hold onto. (There are plenty beside me now, those of small creatures with red eyes that are my only source of light in endless night.) And I think that, even now, all I would like is someone to hold onto. Something stable in a world that seems as fluid as water through the growing gaps in my fingers. Because that is what I fear now. The sunrise, the golden glow across the horizon, the one I am often awake to see burst through the thick gray smog spewed from factory tops, and to see the change it brings. A new day. And more suffering.

I never know how many more sunrises I will see, 

I guess I managed to drift off to sleep sometime during my reminiscing because the next time I tear my eyes apart there is a soft yellow light filtering through the alley. A beautiful, beautiful sunrise that sends chills along the base of my neck, ripping its way down my spine as I disturb the once peaceful night. Dark creatures hiss in protest of my movement and I'm forced to run in order to avoid harsh teeth and angry claws. I glance over my shoulder with disinterest, noting that I've lost yes another home before running my fingers though grimy hair and trying to pass for presentable when I am anything but. 

The streets of Nine are sleepy. Barely waking in the pre-dawn hours as I place my thumbs within pockets torn wide. Stray cats are my only company, hissing and darting out of the way before I could even draw near. And I wander familiar streets until the sun has once against been reborn, trying not to let hollowness eat me from inside out before the sun dies once more.

It doesn't work and I'm disappearing by the time I press my back against the glass of a store I haven't bothered to look at the name of. I'm too busy dying I think. Because I know it shouldn't be night yet but everything it slowly turning black around me. The hollow aching in my stomach has eaten everything, leaving a gaping hole in my chest and I'm sure if I were to press my hand into it it'd stick right through.

"Oi! No loitering." A harsh voice rips me from death's embrace, placing me back together piece by piece as I turn to face the source, keeping my head to the ground and muttering a quick apology before taking my-

"Hey, kid how old are you."

I look up, sudden movement sending the whole of the world rushing forward and the concrete gets close and closer before a strong pair of arms catch me mere inches from a broken nose and bloody scrapes. "Fifteen." I mutter, trying to straighten myself but the voice has its arm wrapped so tightly around my shoulders that none of the strength I can muster will free me.

So I give up

I can hear their smile upon their lips as they begin, "And what's a pretty thing like you doing out in the cold?" 

"Ran away." I manage as the stranger directs me toward the threshold they'd once tried to kick me out of. And there's a certain dread building up within my chest but I can't escape and there's really no point trying anyway.

"Oh, poor thing!" They coo, finger tracing my jaw while pushing me through a door I haven't the strength to look at. "Mommy and Daddy didn't appreciate you, huh?" I nod, leaning further into the stranger; noticing they smell strongly of caramel and of embers put out by rain. "You're starving aren't you? Cold and dirty? Pretty things like you don't belong out on the street, that's for sure!" I think I'm in a chair now, but I don't remember walking here. I don't think I would have had enough strength to. "People could take advantage of you, huh? What's your name, sweet pea?"

"Merlin." 

"Ah beautiful name! Yes, Merlin! You remind me of my son! Pretty boy like you, oh I don't know what I'd do if I saw him out on the street like this, poor little Merlin." I look at my jeans, shrugging noncommittally as they keep on. It's sleepy and safe and warm here. All I want is to do sleep in room with four walls where winds fingers cannot pierce my skin. "Merlin, you know what Merlin, I have a deal for you." The words are enough to force my eyes upwards hopeful smile tugging at the corners of my lips as I look at the kindly man. "I can give you a warm place to sleep. Money. Food. Even some clothes isn't that wonderful Merlin?!" 

And I want to cry because I've gotten so lucky. Lucky that someone has taken pity on me and that everything is going to be okay again. A full smile breaks my lips for the first time in months as I nod. "All you'd have to do is dance for me, dancing is so much fun you'll meet so many wonderful people! They're all like a family here."

"Family?" I question as he pushes a pen and paper in front of me, fatherly smile not faltering. 

"Yes, Merlin love, a better family than you've ever had before. Don't worry about reading that whole thing, just businessy nonsense really. So that you can really be a part of our little family. I've read it over, all perfectly safe. Just sign your name on the dotted line there."

My hand shakes as I print in bold, thick letters.

M E R L I N 

And just Merlin because I have a new family now.