Dichotomy (Chaske v Katelyn Day 7)

.: CHASKE PARKS :.
{district nine : 69th tribute}

A gentle snow falls from the sky mixing with the slight breeze. It feels amazing. My heart steadily beats under my chest. My mind echoes with the words from before. The way she screamed at me. The way she tried to hurt me, but none of it worked. None of it mattered at this very second. All anyone cared about was getting out of here alive. Making sure they weren't among the deceased. She tried to break me down as if she wanted to see me cry, but that isn't possible. None of it is anymore.

The corners of my lips twist further and further up my face leaving my teeth exposed to the frigid conditions. It has always been cold. Always, but today it feels warmer. Maybe it's because my body is finally growing numb. Each snow flake is different like every life is different. Each snow flake changes the way the world sees things, and now it's time for me to change how the world sees this girl from district eleven. The blade of this weapon smashed into the back of her head with a clang. A helmet fell into two pieces, and for once I wonder if this will kill me.

Fire dances on the blades of her throwing weapons. It's such a beautiful thought. Remembering the smell of his flesh as it burnt. As Mason deflected the weapon with such amazing power. As the flames danced up his skin. As she attacked Prism with them. As the flames ate away at his skin before he fell. Oh it's such a beautiful smell. One that lingers in my nostrils begging for the smell again, and here she is standing before me holding the same flaming axes again.

My question flies through the air waiting for an answer. In all reality hoping she'll talk isn't what I want. I want to hear her beg for mercy as the life leaves her eyes. Yes. That's the only talking I want to hear, but she doesn't stop there. She turns around, and she's facing me. Staring me down like I'm the prey this time. Perhaps she hasn't learned anything. Perhaps she doesn't understand that I am the predator. But no, she speaks. And the word Chazz forces its way into my brain.

Chazz.

Chazz.

Chazz.

And before I have a chance of calling her out on it, more questions are thrown my way. Like this is some sort of friendly game show. No time for talking. No time for playing around with one another. One of us will die right now. One of us will survive raiding the body of the one who fell in order to make sure whoever is alive the next day has the best chance of survival. Making sure that nobody tears apart the body the way the girl from six was torn apart yesterday. No hand. No leg. She's as good as dead.

Blinded by the flame as the axe flies my way, I manage to dodge it. I manage to make sure it doesn't hit me, and by the grace of a higher being, it flies away from my skin. The heat barely licking my flesh as the flame dies out. Laughter at her pathetic attempt to attack me bursts from somewhere deep inside. She helped kill Prism. Her flames ate away at his skin, and it's time my blade does the same. All I can do is skin her alive as she screams for mercy. My mind races as I turn towards her. Words prepared to fall off the tip of my tongue as I hold the blade tighter and tighter before answering her questions.

"I've helped three people. They were my allies."

Now they're dead.

"I've only murdered one. A good friend from district two taught me how to kill. Without remorse."

Killed by many. Rest in peace my friend.

"I killed in order to live. That's why you're here right? Coward or not, I am alive just as you are."

Mason taught me as he struck down the tiny girl from twelve without a single bit of remorse. His words shown through as I ended the life of the girl from five as she pleaded with me. It didn't matter that she was alive, that she held onto the only string of life. An axe to the head was all it took. And now she's dead. Turning towards the girl from eleven as steam blows from my ears for only a moment. My eyes remain fixed on her.

I've killed once.

And I'm not afraid to do it again.

.: CHASKE PARKS :.
{district nine : 69th tribute}

It tore deep into her skin opening the wound sending the sweet fragrance of blood across the area. It splattered against the white snow, but beneath all this snow was the bones of those who fell in the beginning. The bloodbath. The fighting. A battlefield. It splattered against the large cornucopia. With the tension flying high, all I could feel was my stomach begging for the taste of her blood. Begging for it to fill my veins. To flood my soul, but all I could do right now was watch as it poured from wound spread wide across her arm.

She screamed in pain which only brought more joy into this entire situation. All I want is to hear her cry from the wounds inflicted upon her innocent, frail body, and here was was. Screaming like a little girl that had lost everything.

Listening to her stumble over her words, like she knew what she was trying to do, yet in the end it wasn't enough. Killing in order to survive was one thing, but all I needed was to feel the blood. To feel the red, sticky liquid plaster itself against my skin. To feel it burning deep inside my soul as the world around turned crimson from the war raging on. The moon would shine red the moment this all ended matching the lives of the twenty-three who died too soon. And all I could think about was her death - the death of district elven.

Tightening the grip upon the bladed weapon, I listen as she rambles on about the reasoning behind why she thinks that I am a coward. It's not because I killed, but because I enjoy it, and then she was laughing. Finally breaking through the tough act she placed on, I see the true side of her. My eyes wide as loud howls of laughter bellow from my lips bouncing off the cornucopia mixing with the snow falling from the sky. This is perfect. Every piece of information I've worked for has finally fallen into place. The puzzle is slowly forming together, and now it's time to finish it, however, it's her words that catch me off guard.

Pity.

I don't want pity.

In the midst of the laughing I miss my chance to fly out of the way of her next flaming axe. The attempt was futile as the hard end of it slammed deep into my ribs, and I can hear the sound of the bone cracking. Pain shoots through my entire body, but I refuse to scream. I refuse to let her see a weakness. Gritting my teeth fighting against the pain, I move around gathering myself. The smell of my flesh burning fills the air for only a moment, but it fuels me carrying me further than I ever imagined possible. My heart echoes through my mind with each beat. It's like a drummer is sitting on my brain pounding against the skull wall.

"Mason taught me. Mason showed me how to kill. He showed me how to feel nothing. He showed me that it must be done."

Oh how I wish he was here right now watching. Oh how I need him.

"Just like you teaching me about plants. Teaching me what I needed in order to survive. You, my dear, helped the enemy, and now it's my turn to help you."

Blinded by rage, I stare down the prey. Waiting for the right movement. Breathing hurts. Each time my chest moves the broken rib moves along with it. Taking a few deep breaths, I turn towards her fixing my grip once more prepared to make her bleed. All I want is to feel the blood against my skin because right now, that's all I ever need. I am thirsty, and I need a drink.

"All I need is hate."

.: CHASKE PARKS :.
{district nine : 69th tribute}

All that was heard was the clashing of the bladed weapon against one of her hatchets. My mind raced frantically searching for answers. Searching for something to say. For something to do, to make up for the fact that my rib just cracked in half. It's a familiar pain. One that I felt most of my life. When the blows of an angry man rained down on my face, my ribs, my entire body like a thunderstorm howling through the night sky. Breathing hurts. Thinking hurts, and all I can see is the angry man standing before me screaming at me. Telling me I'm worthless. That I'll never amount to anything.

I am not worthless.

Tears stream down her face staining her skin - it's a miracle the frigid weather hasn't made ice crystals of them. Why cry right now? In the midst of a fight where blood stains the ground around us and the amazing ice sculptor of the cornucopia. It's amazing, really, look at it. Seeing completely through it, yet an eerie feeling flows through the air. One of staying away from it, and as much as my eyes bounce from place to place, they always return back to the girl from district eleven.

"Liar."

A fire sparks inside my body matching the flame of those on her axes. Matching the flame that's been burning through my skin ever since my name was called. Ever since a terrible fate was placed upon my soul, however, none of it has stopped me. The Capitol wants a game, and all I can do is play them. Isn't that what they want? Isn't that what happens when cannons blast throughout the arena? All of this is for sport. For a show. "You were dead in your heart before the bloodbath..."

If only she realized. If only she understood. I was dead in my heart long before the bloodbath. Long before my name was called for the games. It happened when my parents betrayed me. When they punished me for the stupidest crimes - none of which was deserving of the pain they caused. My heart left the moment they tore the veil shattering the realm that held me to the earth, and now I'm gone. Trapped in a war raging on in my mind between what's right and what's wrong. None of this is wrong.

I'm reminded of the girl from five. A person without a name other than a number placed beside her. A nameless face flashed through the air. Her words. I hear them all the time. They haunt me in my dreams, yet they bring a sweet sound of joy to my ears. All I had ever done was try to protect those I loved. I fought along side them, and now they're gone. Now I won't ever see them again. Her words -"If you have a heart-" - always show that I am alive.

Somewhere inside is a heart that's beating. It's pounding against my chest walls, but every ounce of remorse was wiped away the moment he stepped across the line tormenting me until I could no longer take it. Mother. Father. Mason. Wyatt. Prism. All of them betrayed me. All of them took me for granted telling me I was useless, and now all five of them died. Three cannons sounded for them in the arena. The other two died long before the games ever began. And Chance always blamed me.

"I'm still here and I didn't hate to get here. You don't need hate. You need the truth."

Another axe went flying through the air bouncing against my head. For a split second I feel the pain, but it goes away. It turns the spark into a fire, and now I'm ready to go. All I hoped for was a chance to show her that loving one another is wrong. Loving someone only gets you killed in the end. It tears apart the hearts of those who cared. Love means to destroy someone, and the truth doesn't exist.

Truth only tears people apart.

"The truth only rips people apart. It hurts those who speak the words with truth because in the end nobody remains true to who they once were. Nobody."

I pause for a second ignoring the pain raging through my broken rib.

"Not even you."

As the words fall from my lips, I move as a wildfire spreads through my bones.

.: CHASKE PARKS :.
{district nine : 69th tribute}

Blood poured from her thigh as the sharp end of the weapon jabbed deep into her skin, and she was crying. The corners of my lips were already twisted in to such a powerful grin, and no matter how hard I tried the grin wouldn't grow any wider. It wouldn't spread further across my face. The muscles in my cheeks hurt from holding it for so long. From realizing that the horrible excuse of a tribute wasn't doing much of anything. Not that it mattered anymore. Blood was pouring from both of us, and for me that wasn't a good sign.

Watching her cry. Hearing her in pain. Not caring that the rest of the world would hate me for laughing. It was I who tormented her the other day. It was I who snapped the thread holding her to reality. It was I who broke the innocence of the sweet girl from district eleven. She's not who she was in the training center when she was showing me about the plants. Seeing her like this is amazing. Watching the precious blood drain from her body meant everything to me. It meant that my entire life was worth living.

And then she taunts me. Cocking my head slightly towards the side, putting a sarcastic grin on my face. It's all I can do to not laugh as she sends another axe flying at me, and it misses completely. It doesn't even bounce off my skin like the previous ones. All it does is leave behind the marks of an embarrassing tribute. "You call that a throw? You're a pitiful excuse of a tribute. One that doesn't deserve to be alive. Face it sweetheart, we both deserve to be dead."

The moment I feel I have her, I attack using every ounce of strength I have.

.: CHASKE PARKS :.
{district nine : 69th tribute}

Armor. I knew it right away the way is struck it. The way the blade vibrated in my hands. The way it ate at me as it tore through my entire body. Fire burned inside me as the blood continued pouring from the wound embedded deep in my chest. It wouldn't stop me, though. Killing was what I wanted. It's all I wanted. I watched Wyatt strike down two tributes. I watched Mason strike down a tribute. I watched Prism strike down a tribute, and all of them were struck down next to me. All of them, and in return I carried on their legacy by killing the girl from five. I ended her life because I wanted to. I murdered the girl. I murdered her for the sake of the games. To end her suffering, but in all reality, how did it work?

Killing her only made things worse as blood poured down the pillar. And for once I was on top of the world. I was winning. I was in charge. Fighting. Doing exactly what I wanted to do. Tearing people apart. Drinking the blood as it poured from their wounds. I watched Prism sever the leg and hand of the girl from six, and part of me wondered where she was now. Surely someone who was a friend with her wouldn't have just left her behind. Ditched her in the heat of the moment, but it looks to me like she did. Eleven left six for dead, and that isn't something honorable.

It's her words that catch me. Her words that make my teeth grind together. My eyes widen as I stare at her wondering what's running through her mind. How could she not understand the power of the games? The honor. The glory. Being alive. The words sunk through her like nothing else. They changed the way she was moving. She didn't want any of those things. The blunt end of her axe slammed into the side of my head like it had done before. Tears well up in the corner of my eyes mixing with the blood. The sweat. The agony. Defeat. A word I'm not use to, yet it stands before my eyes as the voices in my head scream it.

You're worthless.

You're going to die.

You've lost.

You will never amount to anything.

You'll never feast again.

You're dead.

So just give up.

Violent shrieks explode from deep within my body blocking out the sound. Blocking out every single thing that's been eating away at my body. "I AM NOT WORTHLESS!" Gripping the weapon tight, I hold it out in front of me as I run towards her aiming to kill. Aiming to rip the neck from her body. "You think you're better than me. Well, come and get me!" And I lunge forward with all my might.