i will keep quiet {ashara}

I woke up with a start, my breathing irregular as I looked around me in a panic...fire, explosions, death...it was surrounding me. Was that what it was like to be in the Games, was that what I would feel like? It's not like me to be in a panic about things like that, I loved destruction and mayhem, actually I had just blown up some shit the other night. With a laugh that verged on madness I wiped the sweat off my brow. What the hell was that all about, that doesn't even make sense, that's not me, I'm the badass motherfucking genius that comes up with new ways to make people scream. That whole thing was just a mistake, just some version of a night terror, it was just a joke.

Glancing quickly at the time I saw that I had only a few minutes to get my shit together and run down there. This of course was not a nightmare, and what a pity that was, because I was so hoping it was. Thank god I had decided to sleep in my armor last night, that makes this really really easy. Tossing my stuff into my backpack I jumped out of the sewer and ran down the street, gloomy grey clouds overhead. If it rained today I would be so pissed, I had plans to start a fire in the lower area of the district. With an irritated huff I picked up my pace, the large building known as the training center looming up in front of me like some great monster.

Once I reached the doors I kicked them open and walked into my corner. Taking my knife strap out of the bag I wound it around my waste and attached the bandolier and knives to it across my shoulder. With a haughty look at everyone else I yelled out "If any of you fuckers touch my bag I will gut you slowly so you have to watch then make you eat your own fucking intestines." With a smirk I walked back into the class area intent on picking up a few things about fire, mostly because it would appeal to my pyromaniac side though just to learn a few things about making some nice bombs maybe.

Walking, well more like swaggering, into the classroom with the crowd of other dickheads, I saw a seat in the back that would be perfect for me, and I sat down next to the girl that occupied the seat next to mine. I opened my mouth to make a snide comment to her about the teacher and maybe insult her in a way she's never thought possible, but I heard her mutter just loud enough for me to hear "Don't piss me off, y'hear?". Okay, not I was pissed off, who the FUCK did this bitch think she was to tell me something like that? What the hell had gotten her panties in a twist?

Still fuming I listened to the class, distracted the adrenaline pumping through my veins. I seriously have no idea who she thought she was, or maybe she didn't know who I was? How was that possible considering like almost EVERYONE in this damn district at least knew of me. Maybe she just needed to be fucking educated about who the person was that had sat down beside her. Turning slightly and putting my arm across the back of her seat I smiled, "So you stupid little bitch, I don't know who you think you're talking to, but my name is Riley Rollins, but everyone calls me Rat. Just so you know I'm not someone you want to get on the bad side of."

Taking a lighter out of my pocket I lit it up and took one of my knives, running it over the flame. "I don't play fare cunt, but if you really want to pick a fight with me than take it out into the training area. I'll gladly kick your ass into the ground."

Okay, this little bitch was really starting to piss me off, she looked like some dear in the headlights when I made my comment, staring blankly at god only knows what. That and her attitude was really making my blood boil, literally, who the hell did she think she was? When finally she spoke it was the most vile set of words someone had said to me to date, and it REALLY set me off. How DARE she ask me if I have touretts, how dare she even think I'd answer her fucking question. She was probably some loser or something that had a bad attitude, at least I could back mine up with my reputation and fighting skills.

Spurred on by anger I stand up, cutting off the teacher and call out this bitch. "Okay you little cunt, stand up and fight me, I challenge you to a fight in the facility. Oh and just so you know if you refuse people here will think you're even more of a loser than I do, and that's not even possible. Your teacher won't save you either, this is what District 1 is all about, the thrill of the fight." Turning my back to her and sheathing my knife I stormed out of the room, not even bothering to wait for her response, because I KNEW she didn't want to be considered a loser. Her look betrayed that much about her, she was fresh meat that had a bad ego after something happened.

Stomping into the facility's training area I began unstrapping my armor and putting the pieces in my bag. Once I had taken it off fully I stripped out of my shirt and pants, and sliding on my training uniform, a sports bra and shorts, I walked onto the sparring mat. Taking two of the training knives I twirled them in my hands to test their weight and smiled. Just my size and weight, they will be perfect for pounding this stupid bitch into the ground. Pounding my chest twice I yelled out to those around me in the facility, but mostly to the bitch that had dared question me.

"Alright, come on, let's go I want to beat the crap out of you, you cunt. I want everyone to watch as you fall apart right when the going gets tough. Better yet, I bet you'll walk out of this place without even picking up a weapon, just watching your ass walk out of the facility would be perfect. For the record, NO, I don't have touretts, I just don't like stupid ass bitches who piss me off to the extreme and think they can say what they want to me. I'm fucking Riley Rollins, I'm not just someone you can have an attitude with, so come out and show me your sorry face."

I watched with pleasure as the bitch finally walked out to the training area, but there was something different about her now...something like determination. For a few seconds I was taken aback by the look because it was far from how she looked in the other room. Briefly I wondered if I had made a good decision in deciding to fight her, but I quickly shook that thought out of my head. It was her turn to taunt me though as her words rang out through the facility. "The name's Tawny, like the owl. And what do owls do? They eat all of the tiny little animals, the ones that no one cares about in the world. Things like rats."

I'll be honest I was a little intimidated as she came onto the mat, it was just me and her standing there ready to face off with each other and now I'm starting to regret my decision. Looked like she had something to fight for, or something that she felt necessary to do, what was I but some punk that called her out. I didn't have a real reason to fight, but you can be damn well sure I'd give this bitch the fight of her life, I wasn't about to go down like some prissy princess. This was my element, this is wear I lived, this was the thrill and excitement that I lived for. She had fallen into my game and now she was just another one of the pawns. She was about to go down.

Twirling my knives in my hands I rushed at her, turning my back to her and bending backwards with a lot more grace than people would assume I brought my knives down hard at her abdomen. Suddenly she wasn't there though, she had just...disappeared, and I turned around quickly barely blocking a blow that would have smashed my shoulder. However I heard a sickening pop as my arm got dislocated from the force of the blow and angle. With a yell I dropped to the mat, practically screaming in pain. Looking up I could see the amused looks on the other Careers as they watched me crumble. They weren't used to this, and for that matter neither was I.

With a lot of effort I stood up, my arm hanging limp at my side and I dove for her, tucking into a ball and stabbing my knife into her leg. Turning my body felt like hell, and unfortunately I turned to slowly to see the pommel of her dagger smash into my face near my eye. Immediately everything went red and I felt dizzy from the blow, groggily I stood up and threw up blood on the mat. Turning in the general direction of where I thought she was I spat out more blood and my voice came out in a hoarse whisper. "Is that all you've got bitch, I mean I wasn't expecting much, but this is just disappointing"

Blindly I stumbled in what I thought was the direction she was in and unfortunately walked into the crowd who growled at me to get back in the game and a few of them even saying I was a loser. Wiping the blood off my face with my good arm I stared at her across the mat, my anger bubbling up again, and yet, my body felt like led, my arm hung limp at my side and blood ran freely down the side of my face. What more did I have to lose? Slowly I walked across the mat towards her and brought my arm up with a lot of effort, looking for an opening that might be able to end this fight. It wasn't to be though, with little effort she dodged my weak blow and I fell down onto one knee.

Tears started to stream down my face and I growled out to her, "Just do it already...finish it...I can't deal with this anymore." Suddenly I felt the world go dark and I felt like I was falling into a never ending pit. My body crashed down into the mat, my arm twisted under my body and blood still running down my face near my eye. With one last groan I submitted to the darkness and let myself fall into the sleep of being knocked out.

I woke up with a start and a throbbing pain beside my eye, and with a groan I closed my eyes and rolled onto my side. How long had I been out, how much damage had been caused? Slowly opening my eyes, and with much effort focusing them, they settled on my opponent, Tawny, sitting in a bed not far from mine and I rolled my eyes. Which of course was a bad mistake because my head felt like it was going to split open. With that thought I turned over the side of the bed, the pain making me throw up, and then straightened up. With a grunt I acknowledge Tawny, and motion for her to get over here. "Hey Tawny...get over here...please. I need to talk to you, it's important on my part, because I have to give you my grudging respect."

It was annoying to me to have to acknowledge her, let alone acknowledge her fighting skills. Especially after I was the one that so arrogantly tried to get into a fight with her, and couldn't back up my bluster. My pride was at an all time low, and so was my confidence in my ability to fight. Whatever though, I wouldn't admit it to this bitch. Seeing as how she wasn't getting up though, and didn't seem to have any intention of doing so, I sat up using a lot more strength than I should have and stood up. Walking over to the bed she was sitting on I carefully sat down beside her and offered my better hand. "I'm sorry for how I acted, I...I shouldn't have treated you that way. I know I'm a disrespectful bitch, but I'm sorry, okay?

You're a better fighter than I gave you credit for and I hope that you won't have any hard feelings. Seems we both had some attitude problems this morning, but at least we worked them out." I motioned for her to take my hand  and waited apprehensively, worried that she would chew me out or blow me off. If this motherfucker did that I would be willing to fight her again, even in this condition. This is what usually happens though, I try to be nice and for some reason people always laugh it off. Jeez, was it so hard to believe that the bitch of the district had a nice side? It's not like I was brought up entirely in the damn sewers, I had some fucking manners.Never the less I dropped my hand as it didn't seem she had any intention of shaking it or doing anything.

Maybe she just hated me too much, there was no reconciling with her. What if she thought she was better than me at fighting because she won one match? If this bitch was actually thinking that well I'd stab a knife into her other damn leg and make her limp around for a while, we'll see who's tough. With that thought though I caught my reflection in the mirror that hung against the wall and I almost shrieked out in sorrow. The left side of my face was covered in bandages, blood stains still showing in the fabric, and my arm made me look like a cripple, limp and otherwise lifeless until some better treatment happened. With a completely out of character whimper I start to cry, and angrily I wipe away the tears. What the fuck did this bitch do to me? She really did have something to prove before didn't she.

I couldn't get over what I looked like, how much of a monster I looked in the mirror, how much damage this girl had done. It was respect and seething anger that kept my quiet, I wasn't going to give her any more opening to hurt my already bruised ego. As arrogant as I seemed, I needed a boost to my ego as much as anyone else did, sometimes I did more than others. I had a fucking reputation to live up to even though I didn't spend a lot of time with my family anymore. There was pressure still though, pressure from my mom and my dad, trying to make something of myself. I broke out of my thoughts at the sound of her voice piercing through the fog of my mind. An offer to pop my shoulder back into place, something I wasn't expecting.

At first I looked at her dumbfounded, not sure if I had heard her right, but the way she looked at me as if expecting an answer told me I had. Slowly moving closer to her and turning my dislocated arm towards her, I turned my face to the mirror to keep eye contact with her. "I'm not sure whether this is a trap or not, or some way to make me feel even more fucking miserable about myself, but yes...please pop my arm back in. It hurts like a motherfucker, but I deserved it, or rather deserve it since I'm still dealing with the pain." With a small laugh I close my eyes bracing for the pain of my arm snapping back into place, and with a yelp and a loud pop I feel it go back into place. Testing it out a few times I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding, and felt a flood of relief go through my system.

"Look, I know you hate me, and I know we didn't get off on the best of terms, but I would really like to start over. I could lie to you and tell you that I'm not an asshole the more you get to know me, but then why get your expectations high for something that won't ever happen. I can tell you though that if you actually decide to be friends with me that you'll never be messed with again." It wasn't me being arrogant, it was just the truth, anyone that was friends with me was generally very well protected and wasn't picked on. It came with the territory of being the "Rat", my reputation in most cases preceded me. With a grin I turned my arm around again and let out a sigh.

"It was Tawny, right? Okay, I want to truly apologize for how I acted and treated you. It wasn't right of me and I shouldn't have assumed that I could beat you. If you ever tell anyone that I just told you that though I will knock your teeth in. I don't apologize to everyone, and certainly not someone smaller than me." Truth be told there was something interesting about this thin waif of a girl, something that could be interesting and possibly used should she become someone I could trust. I liked her attitude too, she wasn't one to back down, and her glare at me even now told me she knew how to hold a grudge. I liked that in a girl, I liked that a lot.