Unable to simply turn a cheek[Charade VT]

Why did I decide today to come into the district after I have been away from these walls for so long? Six months now since I upped and left to become a peace keeper yet here I am again, standing her, waiting in anticipation for the one who came home. It should have been Mason who came home, should have been him standing up there delivering a speech to the district but instead it is not Mason, it is Katelyn Persimmon from district eleven. I'll give her credit that she can fight but still, that doesn't mean I'm glad she won. Or am I? Am I happy that it was her that has to live with the guilt of knowing she had to take innocent lives in order to get to where she is and not Mason? Of course not. Admit it, Ally, you're happy Mason didn't come home so you wouldn't have to try to patch things up because you're too much of a coward to stand up to him I try to shake the nagging voice in my head, knowing I cannot linger here long as surely my cousin Indigo is hot on my trail to bring me back to my Uncle.

My eyes wander up to the stage, wondering if she's as terrified as I would have been to face a district who wished I were dead in place of one of their own. Sighing, I wait, listening to her voice before she is escorted off stage and I take an opportunity to approach the victor. "Um... hello." I say, for the first time truly nervous about what to say to her. What can I say, I'm sorry for your pain? Ha, it wouldn't have the same affect coming from someone like me, I'm a killer myself but she doesn't know that. "Congratulations on your win." Stupid, why did I say that to her, I don't mean it but the words are automatic and robotic from my lips. I can feel the sting of unshed tears behind my eyes but I refuse to cry in front of a Victor, refuse to show the pain of loss because surely, she has enough of that herself and doesn't need my pain as well to burden her. I don't know what else to tell her and for a moment, I stand awkwardly, unsure of myself.