Look of a Lioness [Rade VT]

I never really knew my brother. My mother never told me he existed let alone been reaped. The moment I saw him, though, and heard his name, I knew. He looked like mom, a bit, but like me too. From when I had seen him go and stand on that stage I wondered if I would look like that when I was eighteen, grow out of my baby-face and skinny limbs to become someone fully formed and strong. Not strong enough, I guess.

I had watched him every chance I had, trying to learn about who he was. All of a sudden I had gained a brother and then after nearly two weeks I lost him. Not once did he mention me, but if I didn't know about him then there was no way for him to know about me. I had run away from home two years ago and it was no real loss for me. He probably still had his dad, or at least someone to care for him, right? Well, I had no one. I had heard about this group, in whispers and hidden smiles, that were made up of a bunch of street kids that didn't want to go to homes or the orphanage. They seemed to be taking in some of the younger kids out there, I heard tell of a couple of kids younger than me that were now being taken care of by this group. I could have them, I supposed, if I found them and if they wanted me.

I might be better as a lone wolf.

My brother wasn't alone, though. Not even at the end. There was always someone around with him, even if the last person to see him breathe was the very person that stopped his breath. She's dead, though, and I don't know if I'm relieved, or if I wanted to be the one to stop her heart from beating. He was my brother, if only half, and my blood, if only half. Still, he seemed like he would be better family than my mother or father. He seemed like he might understand me and that would be a first for anyone.

There had been two girls that had been with him for most of the time I knew him - if you could call it knowing. His district partner, Ellexias, had been with him right from the start. Later they met two more girls and one guy joked that my brother was getting quiet harem. I wanted to punch him, but that would be too obvious. I left a tack on his chair instead - pricked the prick.

They lost Velocity almost immediately. She was dead before even the announcers knew what had happened. No one noticed, no one cared. I understood what that was like, and I wanted her to know that I was sorry for her. Twenty-three had to die, though, before my brother could get home. When the chaos was all over there was my brother, still alive, still standing. He had been sliced across the chest but seemed alright otherwise. His two remaining friends looked better off than he was, but still they were all okay. All except Velocity.

It had been nice to see them grieve for her, nice in that she wasn't so forgotten after all. Maybe one day there will be someone to grieve for me.

He lost a leg the next day and I was surprised to hear all of the concerned voices from the square. It seemed that people do care, on some level, for people they have something in common with. Try a mother. They managed to go along fine until being in the arena for nearly a week. That was when they left him behind and then the next day he was dead. Do I blame them? I don't know. He had said, with what breath he had had left, that he didn't blame them. I barely knew him and yet the moment that his cannon sounded I suddenly felt more hollow than before. How was that possible?

I watched his district partner die by the hands of the same girl, gritting my teeth and hoping only that she would get what she deserved somehow. Then Katelyn came in, tail lashing and paws swiping. My brother had been a lion, but the three girls he had befriended were the lionesses. One had died a cub, but now standing out on the stage - the same stage he had stood on - was the fully grown lioness.

The books always said that the lionesses were the hunters, and the lions the protectors. It seemed true, because even to his final moments my brother was protecting this girl and Ellexias. Katelyn Persimmon, what should I think of her? She had been my brother's friend and companion and saviour and support, but she had also left him and then Ellexias to die. She had taken revenge, though, and killed their murderer. I really didn't know what to think.

So I just watch, and I listen. I want to hear what she says. I want to know what she thinks about my brother. Maybe she can tell me what he was like, something more than just what the cameras showed. Maybe she can tell me why she left him behind.

Maybe I can forgive her.