vivecca | capitol | FIN

vivecca - 20 - odair
im too lazy for a table

I'm the girl with a passion for fashion. Eccentric hats and coloured hair - those descriptions describe me down to a T. I stand behind the crowd, observing them as the walk through the streets of the city, judging their choices and makeup, watching as they gasp around like nobody is watching. I'm watching. Like is a show, and if you don't play your part--- anyone can be replaced.

I sport long brown hair which is usually braided back to keep out of my face. It helps frame my face since it is normally quite thin and shallow, meaning my bone structure is enhanced when all my hair is scraped back. Having my hair back also allows for my eyes to shine through.  They're a grey shade (thankfully) meaning I can work them in to pretty much every outfit that is in my wardrobe. And there's a lot of outfits in my wardrobe. But my ears, oh ripred. They stick out too much, far too much. I want them cut off and gone, but I can't. I'd look too weird, and fashion wouldn't accept me. And that's my nightmare.

But few of them work. I'm all for quirky and unique, but sometimes the best fashion statements are the ones which people steer clear of. The average suit and tie deal, the long skirts and small headpieces. I think that my lack of eccentricity puts some employers off. But I don't care. I think I look perfect and wonderful all the damn time, even if they call me ugly.

Yes, all the time. I admit it, I love myself. I don't know one thing about my personality that I'd change. Nope, come to think of it, there is nothing. I just think I'm the perfect representation of what everyone in the Capitol should be like. Beautiful, stylish and everything those in the Districts aren't. Because we are better than them, and they must know that.

I've been called arrogant before, but it is a bad thing? I don't believe so. Sometimes it can come to my own advantage. I mean, who is going to want to choose a shy little girl over a confident, sassy woman? No one.  My first boyfriend dumped me for this trait, though I don't care. I had a couple others lined up for me anyway.

But I can assure you that I'm clever. My mother always used to say that I hid behind my sense of fashion, hiding a "sensitive young girl", and in some ways, I guess she's kinda right. I'm smarter than most, though not the smartest. I'm capable of writing reviews and using mathematics to show that I'm not just a pretty face. But I'd give up my intelligence to be a model. Any day.

I had a shot of making it big once, but there was another girl who got in my way of success. I hated her for it, but eventually it changed into love for myself, obviously. I remember the scene so clearly, arriving at the office with my ideas at my fingertips. I saw her waiting and she didn't look like much of a threat. I guess looks can be deceiving, because she was a force to be reckoned with. And I was struck down by her.

After that whole event, I found myself looking in every window of every street of every estate in search of a job. I just need that security of work to fall back on when I had nothing and no one. But I couldn't find it. I wasn't going to change my ways just so that I'd find a job-- no, I'd never do that. I just wanted to find someone who liked me and wanted me for what I was, not for what I could be.

And I'm still walking today. Just taking each day as it comes, like it seems most people here do. They all seem too absorbed in work or school, but I'm too absorbed in myself. Part of me misses the person I used to be before I felt society around me changing, forcing me to morph into someone else. Strip me back, peel me from these clothes and I'm different from the mask I hide behind. Just, no one is willing to take their time to get to know me, so I can open up like a book and let them indulge themselves on my wisdom.