Stay with me {Cato/JB}

Odysseus bursting in doesn't surprise me none. I'm leaving my brother behind in this district. He has his friend though. Me? I feel like no one else needs me anymore. I miss my other brother Mason. More than I thought I would. I had been so confident he'd come home that the very thought of him dying seemed laughable. Then he came home in a box ready for burial. Just like that my brother is gone. The boy I saved has a family. He also has a brother whom he loves. If I can save one more life than that's what I will do. In time Odysseus will understand what I've done. "I miss Mason. He taught me a lot of things Odysseus. Goodbye. That's one thing I never learned. You don't need me. You have Derek to help you. Me? I have no one in the world who needs me anymore. I'm sorry."

Next he's holding out a locket. He wants me to take it. I look him in the eyes before turning away. Tears begin to flow. He feels for me like I did for Mason. I love Odysseus, but its not fair for me to wait for my heart to heal. I'm broken beyond repair. I don't need to drag him down with me. I turn back to see the locket still being offered. Reluctantly I take it. With trembling fingers the locket is open. A picture of Mason and I. With him in the back. More tears flow down my cheek. "Odysseus. You're my brother and I will always love you so. I miss Mason too much. His death has broken me. I.... find myself waking up at night screaming for him to come back. I'm beyond repair. Beyond help. Death is my only escape now."

Watching Odysseus break down the way he is stings. It hurts knowing that I was wrong. That he did care for me. That he does love me. That he doesn't want me to go into the games. My heart sinks into my stomach. I made a mistake volunteering, but I can't undo it. I can't change what I had done. Butterflies dance around inside me as I struggle to meet the gaze of him. Knowing that I have done this to him, and I wish I wouldn't have. I wish I could go back in time and change everything. I would talk to him more. I wouldn't have acted so selfishly. And now I'm going to die.

I'm going into the games where people know how to fight. I thought this was what I wanted. To meet my brother again. To finally say hello to him. To talk to him. To make my life happy again, but I didn't know it would tear down a man of stone. Shatter his heart like it has. Odysseus shouldn't care for me anymore, but he cared enough to show up. To tell me these things. I'm stuck. I don't know how to fight. I'm a healer. I heal people. Not try to kill them. What do I do? I can't hold a weapon and attack a person. I can't kill anyone. It was wrong to volunteer. It was wrong to hurt such an amazing person, and I listen as he speaks. His words ringing through my ears, and now I have to do something. Tell him something, but I don't know what to do. I just don't know what to do.

"I'm sorry Odysseus I didn't know. Look on the bright side. I did save another kid's life right?"

I can hear the desperation in his voie as he speaks. That I have to worry about saving myself. That I can't always worrry about saving others, and in a way I know he's right. I know that saving anyone in the arena can ruin my chances of returning home, but deep inside I'm not sure if that's what I want. Going into the reaping, I was almost certain I wanted to meet my brother, Mason, somewhere in the sky. Wherever he is now, yet Odysseus just proved he cared. That he needed me, and I'm leaving him behind.

Hearing that he believes in me makes me slightly happy, but the given situation doesn't call for happiness. Most people from the district are estactic going into the games, but I'm not. I had a death wish, and he stopped it. Maybe I can fight. Maybe I can win. Maybe I can return home to him, but I think about Mason. Such a strong, brutal career who died way too soon. He should've been the victor. Not Kate, but her life matters. All life matters, and saying that means that my life should matter too. I just can't make any promises. I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't want to kill anyone. I just want to be me.

"I refuse to kill anyone. I'm not capable of murder. The best I can do is ensure the others in this district going into the games make it home. That's my goal."