sickness | {tristen}
Jun 11, 2015 17:22:14 GMT -5
Post by umber vivuus 12b 🥀 [dars] on Jun 11, 2015 17:22:14 GMT -5
NICO DAVENPORT
WHEN I'M PLAY PRETENDING
'Thump, Thump, Thump' goes the heart that won't stop beating. 'Thump, Thump' it demands within his chest, pushing him forward: one step, one breath, one day at a time. It is a sound he has learned to ignore over the years -- a sad truth, for he pretends not to have the very thing that keeps the breath in his lungs and the color in his eyes.
"Thump, Thump, Thump, it applauds, and it is times like these he hates most, when it wants his attention too much for him to overlook it. For, even when he wishes his heart did not beat, it still remains a fighter inside him. Even when he begs for it to just give up, it refuses. And times like these are all it asks for in return. Times like these, where it just wants to be heard.
But that is just the problem.
What is it trying to say?
Nico has never been a very good listener. Even as a child he had trouble taking orders. He was the worst in fact, at everything. He had always been sure of it until the day he had broken a rule and wandered off a bit further than he was allowed. He was met with a fenced community of children, all strewn about in their leisure time. He longed to be one of them, to climb the fence and play alongside them, but he couldn't. It was not allowed. He was allowed to look in, though. He was allowed to smile as the other children waved at him, or even speak when a few of the more curious ones came over to peer at him.
One of these people was named Reese. And he was nice in a way that Nico didn't understand, like he had known the boy for years prior to that day. Reese fixed the damaged boy that Nico once was, and when Reese was the one that needed fixing, he was taken away before Nico had ever gotten the chance.
It stung for a while, his absence, but with time he had grown to accept it. He rarely even thinks about the boy anymore, but this day deserves an exception. At first, he was unsure if the boy lying in the bed in front of him was really Reese. His eyes had been closed and in the years that had passed he had grown. But the second his eyes fluttered open Nico knew.
'Thump, Thump, Thump' his heart screams, but the rest of him remains silent.
Reese, Reese! I'm so happy it's you! I've missed you so much! I'm so sorry I didn't come for you, I'm so sorry I lied! But I'm here now, I am! And I missed you! I really missed you! thoughts sear across his mind, but they are not good enough. Reese deserves better. There is nothing that is good enough, not after what he has had to go through alone. Come on, heart, tell me what to say! But there is no answer, so he swallows his air and takes a step forward.
"I've found you."
"Thump, Thump, Thump, it applauds, and it is times like these he hates most, when it wants his attention too much for him to overlook it. For, even when he wishes his heart did not beat, it still remains a fighter inside him. Even when he begs for it to just give up, it refuses. And times like these are all it asks for in return. Times like these, where it just wants to be heard.
But that is just the problem.
What is it trying to say?
Nico has never been a very good listener. Even as a child he had trouble taking orders. He was the worst in fact, at everything. He had always been sure of it until the day he had broken a rule and wandered off a bit further than he was allowed. He was met with a fenced community of children, all strewn about in their leisure time. He longed to be one of them, to climb the fence and play alongside them, but he couldn't. It was not allowed. He was allowed to look in, though. He was allowed to smile as the other children waved at him, or even speak when a few of the more curious ones came over to peer at him.
One of these people was named Reese. And he was nice in a way that Nico didn't understand, like he had known the boy for years prior to that day. Reese fixed the damaged boy that Nico once was, and when Reese was the one that needed fixing, he was taken away before Nico had ever gotten the chance.
It stung for a while, his absence, but with time he had grown to accept it. He rarely even thinks about the boy anymore, but this day deserves an exception. At first, he was unsure if the boy lying in the bed in front of him was really Reese. His eyes had been closed and in the years that had passed he had grown. But the second his eyes fluttered open Nico knew.
'Thump, Thump, Thump' his heart screams, but the rest of him remains silent.
Reese, Reese! I'm so happy it's you! I've missed you so much! I'm so sorry I didn't come for you, I'm so sorry I lied! But I'm here now, I am! And I missed you! I really missed you! thoughts sear across his mind, but they are not good enough. Reese deserves better. There is nothing that is good enough, not after what he has had to go through alone. Come on, heart, tell me what to say! But there is no answer, so he swallows his air and takes a step forward.
"I've found you."
WHEN I CAN TAKE BULLETS TO THE HEART