Pluto Gravity d6 {done}

Pluto Gravity
Thirteen
Male
District Six

{Appearance}
Runt. It's the only word my family uses to describe me. It may be because I'm so much younger and so much tinier. I don't know how tall a thirteen year old male should be, but I'm only four foot seven and only weigh about ninety pounds. My steps are small, so when I'm following someone I have to run to keep up. Especially if they're much taller. Running always makes me feel out of breath. It's like my lungs are trying to shut down or something. My chest gets really tight. It's terrifying. I don't have many muscles or anything. Sometimes it feels like I'm just a skeleton with skin.

Sometimes when I'm lonely, I'll stare at my reflection. My skin is slightly tan. I know some people have really pale skin, and that's not me because I'm out in the sun a lot. Brown shaggy hair sits on top my head. I want it to grow out and become long like a lot of the girls I know, but I don't because I know it's just another reason for my family to make fun of me. My eyes are light brown - they always make me look sad. It's also because I rarely smile. Dirt covers my face a lot. I always play in the dirt getting my clothes and every part of me dirty. Grime cakes under my nails. Sometimes it's disgusting looking, but it's who I am.

{Personality}
I want to be noticed. It always feels like my entire family looks over me. I don't know if it's because of my age, or if I don't really exist, or something totally different, yet it always makes me feel like an invisible person traveling alone throughout life. I'm always doing small things trying to get my family to notice me, but my older brothers and sisters are always away from me. They're always talking about things I don't understand. And sometimes they're extremely mean to me. But when I see my family having fun with one another, I always go to my room and cry in the darkest corner. Maybe if I spoke up someone would notice me. I wouldn't feel like a shadow always walking around.

If only speaking was easier.

It's really hard for me to talk to people. I always stare at them waiting for them to start the conversation, and even then I can't make eye contact with them. Even with my own family, I have to look away when trying to talk. I'm afraid of how they'll react. I've been judged so many times in my short life, and it breaks trust with people. I have nobody. No friends. Nobody to care about me. It's just me. Alone in a world afraid of people. I don't understand it. I've tried making friends, but my lack of communication shatters it all. Even in my family, I can't get my brothers and sisters to understand me. I have walls surrounding me because I want the protection, but at the same time it's leaving me so trapped within my body that destroying those walls have become almost impossible.

I want to be like them. I want to have friends and be popular and go through life like it doesn't own me, but it does. It has chains wrapped around me, controlling me. I've fought against them. I've done all I know how to do, yet it's never enough. Even when I miss up, my mistakes hide behind everyone. I try following my family around. I try making myself do the same things they do, but I'm always told I'm too young to understand. I'm too young to follow in their steps. I'm always too young. Maybe I am just a ghost. It sure feels that way because nobody sees me. And it hurts more than I care to admit, but I always put a brave face on because I can't let my family know how much it hurts. The walls keep me protected, and until those walls are broken, this is how my life will be.

Maybe one day it'll change.

{History)
It's hard being the youngest in the family. Expectations were already placed before me when my name was carved into existance. Some are impossible to reach.

Ever since I could walk, I always followed my brothers and sisters around watching them wishing I was them. I wanted to prove that I was more than just a toddler, yet each step only pushed me further away. But my parents always taught me about the stars. From a young age, I grew fascinated with them. Every star has a twinkle to it, some are bright, and some are dim. It's during the night hours, that I started enjoying being outside laying on the ground staring at the sky wondering what all was up there. Many questions always formed in my mind, and one of them was about if another world existed beyond Panem. With all the stars, and planets, it should be possibile.

Going to school was always fun. I really enjoyed learning because it allowed me to expand my knowledge of every day life. I love working with numbers. Adding them, subtracting them. Forming patterns with them. When I grow up, I want to become an physicist or something. Something that uses numbers every single day. History is boring, but I wouldn't ever say that out loud. Growing up, I've always been told that the history of the world is important. Sometimes I wonder what life was like before Panem, before the rebellion, before the hunger games. But no matter how far the history goes back, I can't find it. It would be interesting to know. I'll keep listening and trying to figure out more as life goes on.

In my free time, I stayed to myself a lot. Sometimes I would talk to a couple people, but I wouldn't consider them friends. When I'm lonely, I'll find my stuffed bear. It's been broken so many times, and sewed back together. It's my friend. I tell everything to that bear because I know it won't tell anything to anyone else. I guess that's a good thing. I'll never forget when a kid at school took the bear and tore it's leg off. It made me cry, and only caused me to be made fun of even more. But I sewed it back together all by myself.

Now that I'm thirteen, I want to have fun in life. I want to grow up and become strong like the rest of my family. I love playing after school hours. Getting dirty, and having fun. I try living carefree, but the world is full of too many worries. Maybe I can reach my goal of becoming an physicits of some sort. Something that can allow me to work with what I see the best. Numbers. This way I can show my family that I'm not just some foolish runt.