Lillian Wynne Ainsley - District 4

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Name: Lillian Wynne Ainsley.
Age: 17.
Gender: Female.
District/Area: District 4.
Faceclaim: Kylie James (model).

Appearance:

Lillian has dark blonde, thin straight hair past her shoulders and she, more often than not, wears it down because she thinks that having it tied up in a ponytail makes her look constantly angry; when in fact that's the complete opposite to her personality. She was always the little girl that was on the short side until her growth spurt at around the age of 12, which led to the 17 year old version of herself being 5'8.5", but the fact she had always been very slender never changed. Another reason for why she hardly ever ties her hair up is due to her being fairly tall and thin, she can easily be mistaken for a boy; something that occurred quite a lot when she was little and had to have her hair tied back for school. Even at the age of 17 she still tries to overcome to double glances from people by dressing as girly as she possibly can, but the majority of the time she loses the will whenever she looks in the mirror and simply opts for jeans or shorts, and t-shirts, cardigans or hoodies - just plain and simple.

There's a saying that says eyes are the doorway to the soul, but unless you personally know Lillian, hers hide everything. They're vibrant blue, with a darker blue ring around the outside and if she lets you hold eye contact for long enough, you would be mesmerised. They are perfectly framed by her dark eyebrows; albeit slanting slightly creating the illusion of her frowning, and the shower of freckles down her slim nose and across her prominent cheek bones. Her freckles continue across her chin and under her nose, with a pair of slightly full lips separating the two spatterings.

Personality:

Throughout her childhood and into her teenage years Lillian has never been outgoing or outspoken, rather she is the typical shy girl that stays at the back - hiding. No one tends to notice her or make a fuss of her, and she's okay with that but it might just be because she's used to it. Friends is a difficult concept, so it isn't a surprise when it comes to light that Lillian has no one to talk to her own age; of course people are friendly to her when they actually notice her, but someone to call a friend is a different matter. Despite Lillian not knowing what it's like to have friends, she's lonely - especially when everyday she sees people laughing and interacting, and she can't seem to break through her barriers to join in.

Anxiety shrouds Lillian constantly; one of the reasons she's so cut off from making friends - she worries too much about what people think or whatever she does to concentrate fully. Her grades don't completely suffer from her lack of concentration as she tries to calm herself down, but compared to the version of herself she could be without the anxiety eating away at her, they could be an awful lot better. The only place to really calm her is the sea; not necessarily on or in it, but just to see it and hear the waves softly lapping around the dock or small beach. There is no set reason as to why, but it calms her nerves and her worries, even on her worst days, in a way a friend could help calm you just by speaking soothing words of wisdom.

The only person to hear her talk more than animatedly about anything she can think of, or hear her laugh and see her smile, is her father; a fisherman in their district. She is comfortable enough with him to be the girl she can't be in front of strangers; the one she talks to about most things, but even then, a lot of her problems and worries stay under wraps in her own mind. Somehow it's easier for her to deal with her problems alone, despite wanting a friend to talk to, because she knows her father worries and she detests the idea of him worrying about her more than she already knows he does. After losing her mother, his true love, during childbirth and to know that his little girl isn't properly happy it's all she can do to try her hardest to lessen his worry.

Behind the shy, anxious girl is a girl bursting to have someone to talk to, someone to laugh and joke with and someone to hang out with during the times they don't have to be in school. Behind the shy, anxious girl is a girl that just wants to be like everyone else her age. Everyday she fights against the urge to push through her barriers, but her anxiety hits back forcing her to stay on the sidelines - a constant battle of her will power to stay the same of change for what she thinks is the better.

History:

January 12th was a joyous and heartbreaking day for the Ainsley family. It was the day baby Lillian entered the world, but the day her mother exited it during childbirth. Her father has never blamed Lillian for the loss of his wife but rather took his late wife's last words to heart and cherished and doted on their daughter just like they had planned. Despite her father becoming a single parent he worked his hardest, and still does to this day, to look after his little girl and take care of any of her needs before his own and in Lillian's eyes he has always been her hero. It wasn't an easy upbringing, and whilst being in District 4, some meals were missed because bringing enough income in on one salary, and a fisherman's salary at that, didn't always cover the costs of everything. Yet, they had each other and on their worst days that was somehow enough.

As a youngster Lillian was always quiet and never really interacted with others, meaning she never made friends; not even those haphazard friends people make on their first day of school just so they're not lonely. At that age it never seemed to bother her because it had just been her and her father for so long. When she first started school she knew and understood what had happened to her mother, and whilst she may not love her because she never knew her, there was a care of sorts she held towards her image - and she knew her father missed her dearly. Being young and dependent on her father never stopped her from taking care of him as well, and somehow her not making friends was to ensure he'd never be lonely.

Once Lillian had progressed through to school exams, her anxiety started to develop; first in little worrying moments here and there to full blown panic attacks, which she has slowly and finally managed to get under control at the age of 17. There wasn't a reason why she suffered from anxiety, it was just the way she was and there is nothing she can do other than live with and manage it. Now that she's 17, her panic attacks have lessened in number, but the severity when they do hit is a lot worse; for, once again, an unknown reason. Lillian is sick of it, because as well as being shy and nervous around people, she feels she has to hide the anxiety she constantly feels in order to just seem shy rather than a nervous wreck.

Ever since she reached an age that she could be independent from her father, she has helped him on his fishing boat in order to try and bring in more catch to increase his salary. Still to this day, in any of her spare time she tries to go to work with him just to give him a helping hand, because at the age of 60 the work aboard his boat becomes tiresome day in and day out with only small meals on the table available. Lillian doesn't exactly enjoying the fishing side of things, but being out at sea in the calm and with her father by her side, she finds it peaceful and that's where her love for the sea and sand developed from.

There are few things in this world Lillian wishes for. One is that she could've gotten to know who her mother was, meaning her father wasn't lonely and going at it alone, and two that she would one day find someone that could understand her and want to get to know her despite how shy she is; whether it's that person to break her barriers down or she feels a big enough pull towards someone that she breaks them down herself for them. No matter what, he only wish is to not be lonely anymore despite her knowing it was her own actions that led to how she is today.

Codeword: Odair.

Other: FIRST CHARACTER APP. COMPLETED