something other then solitude | briar
Jul 22, 2015 15:05:34 GMT -5
Post by kendall on Jul 22, 2015 15:05:34 GMT -5
T H E W A Y Y O U ' D P L A Y W I T H M E L I K E A C H I L D.
M A R C E L A S K U L S K I
DISTRICT11 | SIXTEEN | FEMALE
_______________________________________________________
M A R C E L A S K U L S K I
DISTRICT11 | SIXTEEN | FEMALE
_______________________________________________________
There was no one around me except for me. Solitude seemed to be common for me. I ate in solitude, worked in solitude, sat ion solitude. There was something utterly satisfying about being by yourself yet something awfully isolating. My body is stretched out across the grass as I look at the shapes of the clouds.
Bunny.
Oh look there is a tractor.
The clouds shifted into just blobs as my mind was taken away from their attention. Voices were heard around the bend. Quickly I jolt up and look to see who was coming. Three younger ones were bouncing down the road. The two girls held each hand go the doll, swinging her cloth body back and forth while the boy ran in circles around then. They all giggled and laughed, not noticing my exisistance,
All I want is something other then solitude.
There is a voice in my mind that tells me that is too much to ask of the earth. The earth gives us exactly what we need to grow up, live, and then die just as we need it. Our lives are already planned out from the moment we were born says the voice, there is so changing it. That voice is mothers melodious one. Her philosophies of why life is the way it is are carved into every crevasse of my brain like a code. That code alway overriding what I have to think about the world.
She says the world is kind and generous.
Well I say its greedy and cruel.
Mother says the earth gives us a family, food, shelter, friends and whatever else we need in order to make it. Sometimes, in rare occasional circumstances, you are happy with what the earth has gave you. Many die trying to be happy through money and power while what they really needed was already provided to them.
I refuse to believe such rubbish. Walking down the curvy run down streets of the vast district, I can point out every reason why my mother's earth was the wrong version of it. Orphan's were three to five, and instead of giving them a family they are alone in the world until the earth swallows them up when their time comes. In land that bares so many crops, so many go hungry and the earth just produces more as to mock us. So many can't even afford a little three room house like my family. They are forced to live in tiny little things that shouldn't even constitute as shelter or the sky is their roof. Friends are something that the earth does seem to regular provide for most people. Yet, I seem to be have written out of the code, forced to live by myself in solitude. I never had a friend that thought I was worth keeping or a person who thought I was worth loving. All these people have no choice but to try to do better then what the earth provided them.
After all the points I made mother would just shake her head and tell me that the earth gave us the gift of life. It's the most precious gift of all and some people got more to their gift then others. I would storm out of the room wondering where I could return my god damn gift of life. I didn't want it, I was miserable and alone. And yet the earth never accepted it back. There was a no return policy for me it seems like. I am stuck here to suffer and sit alone.
Sitting alone in the tall grasses outside a fence closing someone in was something that I hope no one could ever take away from me. The tall grass seems to try to run with the wind but is left behind to where it was supposed to be. It never learns. Every time the wind blow it follows, only to be brought back to where it was meant to be. Just like me. Where ever I go I seem to find myself back in my small room I share with my brothers. Why? Because I don't know where else to go. I have no one to run too.
Soon the voices of the children walking by me to their place of play, work or slumber had simmered into nothing. Only the sound of crickets and the smell of a storm brewing was all that was left around me. Soaking it all in, I try to remember what the sun shine felt like on my back. I will be needing memories like that to get me through the rain storm. The rainstorm will always pass and sometimes a beautiful rainbow will shine through. My mother's voices coos at me as I watch some birds fly to the near by trees. The harder it rains the brighter the colors.
Sometimes I wonder if she meant the actual rain storm or life. A little bit of me was hoping my forever rainstorm would cease to happen and a beautiful rainbow would appear and remind me that their is something worth living for. But when I look ahead all I see is dark stormy clouds with no way out but through.
Bunny.
Oh look there is a tractor.
The clouds shifted into just blobs as my mind was taken away from their attention. Voices were heard around the bend. Quickly I jolt up and look to see who was coming. Three younger ones were bouncing down the road. The two girls held each hand go the doll, swinging her cloth body back and forth while the boy ran in circles around then. They all giggled and laughed, not noticing my exisistance,
All I want is something other then solitude.
There is a voice in my mind that tells me that is too much to ask of the earth. The earth gives us exactly what we need to grow up, live, and then die just as we need it. Our lives are already planned out from the moment we were born says the voice, there is so changing it. That voice is mothers melodious one. Her philosophies of why life is the way it is are carved into every crevasse of my brain like a code. That code alway overriding what I have to think about the world.
She says the world is kind and generous.
Well I say its greedy and cruel.
Mother says the earth gives us a family, food, shelter, friends and whatever else we need in order to make it. Sometimes, in rare occasional circumstances, you are happy with what the earth has gave you. Many die trying to be happy through money and power while what they really needed was already provided to them.
I refuse to believe such rubbish. Walking down the curvy run down streets of the vast district, I can point out every reason why my mother's earth was the wrong version of it. Orphan's were three to five, and instead of giving them a family they are alone in the world until the earth swallows them up when their time comes. In land that bares so many crops, so many go hungry and the earth just produces more as to mock us. So many can't even afford a little three room house like my family. They are forced to live in tiny little things that shouldn't even constitute as shelter or the sky is their roof. Friends are something that the earth does seem to regular provide for most people. Yet, I seem to be have written out of the code, forced to live by myself in solitude. I never had a friend that thought I was worth keeping or a person who thought I was worth loving. All these people have no choice but to try to do better then what the earth provided them.
After all the points I made mother would just shake her head and tell me that the earth gave us the gift of life. It's the most precious gift of all and some people got more to their gift then others. I would storm out of the room wondering where I could return my god damn gift of life. I didn't want it, I was miserable and alone. And yet the earth never accepted it back. There was a no return policy for me it seems like. I am stuck here to suffer and sit alone.
Sitting alone in the tall grasses outside a fence closing someone in was something that I hope no one could ever take away from me. The tall grass seems to try to run with the wind but is left behind to where it was supposed to be. It never learns. Every time the wind blow it follows, only to be brought back to where it was meant to be. Just like me. Where ever I go I seem to find myself back in my small room I share with my brothers. Why? Because I don't know where else to go. I have no one to run too.
Soon the voices of the children walking by me to their place of play, work or slumber had simmered into nothing. Only the sound of crickets and the smell of a storm brewing was all that was left around me. Soaking it all in, I try to remember what the sun shine felt like on my back. I will be needing memories like that to get me through the rain storm. The rainstorm will always pass and sometimes a beautiful rainbow will shine through. My mother's voices coos at me as I watch some birds fly to the near by trees. The harder it rains the brighter the colors.
Sometimes I wonder if she meant the actual rain storm or life. A little bit of me was hoping my forever rainstorm would cease to happen and a beautiful rainbow would appear and remind me that their is something worth living for. But when I look ahead all I see is dark stormy clouds with no way out but through.
