Darkness Shines {Kraygon one-shot}

A gentle breeze howls through the night sky.

This is the first time since returning home I was able to escape. Ma and Pa kept asking me questions along with the rest of my family. They wanted to know what happened to me. The horrors of the detention center constantly lurk before my mind. The inhumane torture. The brutal beatings. Many nights I wake up screaming begging for someone to save me. My clothing remains way too large for me. No matter how much food Ma shoves down my throat, I can't keep it down. The back of my throat has become raw from the amount of stomach acid sliding against it. Every single bone is still noticeable. My ribs can be counted from a distance. Even working in the stables like I used to has become too much. I can't even lift a bale of hay anymore.

It sucks, but tonight I'm alone. Dead grass crunches beneath my feet with every step I take. It's beyond my wildest imagination as to how much time has gone by since Esme died in the games. I don't know how long I was trapped in the dreaded place fighting for my life. Not a day went by without me thinking of Esme. She gave me the strength needed to carry on when all I wanted was to fall over dead in the cell or even in the middle of interrogation. Her strength as she journeyed through the games proved more for me than any other time in the world. During the darkest hours, I needed her - Her sweet voice echoing through the night made a world of difference. It saved me which is why I'm visiting her tonight. I want her to know that I haven't forgot about her.

How could I?

Clouds pregnant with rain shield the moon and the stars. Cracks of thunder jolt through the air. Soon it would rain washing away the worries of the world along with the dirt and grime from my face. Beads of sweat drop silently from my brow. They took so much away from me. Every bone aches. Every breath forces pain throughout my body, but I can't stop walking. I can't lay down in the grass like a fool. Giving up has never gotten anyone anywhere, and it sure as hell won't get me anywhere. Being alone in the dark only sends my mind back to the dark cell, the tiled floor, and grey walls. Chills run through my body as every hair stands on end. But I'm free. I was brought home as a broken man. Being around my family terrifies me. I was alone for so long, yet I can't get my family to understand.

My eyes rest on the cemetery gates as dropplets of rain slowly fall from the sky. Tears sit on the brim of my eyes fluttering through my eyelashes. Bolts of lightning pass through the sky lighting the way, but it doesn't matter. Darkness has become my life. It creeps around with me. Light makes it impossible to see. It blurs my vision far worse than anyone could ever imagine. Darkness made this entire situation perfect as I moved from grave to grave looking for the one belonging to sweet Esme. My heart races inside my chest matching my steps. It feels almost impossible to breath. Every word catches in the back of my throat before any sentences can form. How long has it been? It feels like the pain should be gone, yet it remains pulling at the strings keeping me sane. I don't know how I done it, but here I am. A free man. One who deserved the death Esme took. She should be alive, not me.

When I stop and turn towards the stones, I see her. Her name etched into existance. Tears roll down my face mixing with the rain washing the dirt of the world away. Cannons of thunder blast through the sky. It doesn't take long until the weight of the world pushes me forward onto my knees. Violent sobs fly from my lips as I stare at the name of the only person I've ever loved more than myself. "I hate you." The last words I said to her fly to my mind as my head slumps forward connecting with the ground. "Esme, I don't know if you could ever forgive me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I said I hated you. I'm sorry I couldn't handle the grief. I'm sorry I insulted your death. You deserved so much better. I've failed you. Can you forgive me? I'm so sorry."

Or is it too late?