"Landmine" 320891 Avox {done}

It wasn't always like this.

I can remember the good ole days back in district eleven. I had a wife, twin boys, and a young daughter. The last time I saw my twins they were four years old. Every night after returning home from working in the fields, they would run up to me, wrap their tiny arms around me telling me how much they missed me. It took all the worries in the world away. Deyan, and Ender. I'll never forget them because they're my entire world. And my daughter. She was only born two weeks before this all happened. I'll never forget the first time I looked into her eyes. Sweet little Akilah. It was love at first sight. My heart melted over and over every time I looked into her eyes, and now I long for it all again. A chance to see them, to watch my children grow into young adults, yet it was all taken away.

Deyan had my features. The round face with a pointy chin, the round, brown eyes. The dark shaggy hair. When I looked at him, it felt like I was looking at a younger version of myself. He matched my dark and bushy eyebrows. My large, pointy nose. His lips matched my pale, pink lips. There was no denying that Deyan was my son. The only part he was lacking was the height. It wasn't much standing six foot tall and weighing approximately one hundred sixty pounds. One thing I always lacked was muscle mass despite the type of work I had done. I hoped with everything that I had inside of me that Deyan would grow the facial hair like I always did. I love running my hands through my scruffy beard. The only downfall to having all this facial hair was food getting stuck in it. Thalia would always pick pieces of food out of it after the kids were sleeping. It became part of my life. Ender, on the other hand, resembled his mother more than me.

I made a mistake, and now I am the mistake.

It was a hard day at work. Every bit of it was stressful. I hated what stress did to me. It always made me blow a fuse inside my brain, and the words I would say were far worse than I could ever imagine. I tried not to get stressed out because it only made my life a living hell. Whoever was standing in my way usually got a fist to the face because of the adrenaline surging throughout my entire body when the bomb exploded. The first time it ever happened, I fought long and hard to forgive myself because the person I hurt was my own family. My mother. All she ever wanted was the best for me, and I repaid her by giving her my worse. No matter how many times I begged for her forgiveness, I couldn't forgive myself for what I had done. It was that day that I vowed to never bottle my emotions up again. And I thought I had it, but I was wrong.

The sun was setting over the district signalling it was time for everyone's work day to end. It was a joyful moment in my life because it meant I could return home to my family. I could hold my sons. I could wrap my arms around my daughter, and I could kiss my wife. Thalia was the most amazing person in the entire world. She was always so kind and gentle, and I longed to see her after the hard day of work. Sweat was pouring from my brow as I hauled a bag full of apples towards the designated spot. A peacekeeper was behind me rushing me along because I was "going too slow." The blood inside my body was churning, and I could feel myself growing angrier with each passing second, yet I fought against the pain, and I kept moving. I didn't want to lose my temper because they scared me. Every single peacekeeper marching through the district terrified me because even the slightest step out of line meant execution.

When I got home, I could tell something was wrong. Thalia was sitting in the corner rocking baby Akilah. Tears streamed down her face. My sons gathered around her, and they were crying as well, and it broke my heart into thousands of pieces. I wasn't sure what to do, but Thalia stood up and walked over to me motioning for me to follow behind her. I mouthed to Deyan and Ender to stay where they were before following after her. "Thalia..." Before I could even finish she placed our daughter in my hands. "I know I'm asking a lot of you, but I need you to do this. Please. Akilah is ill, and I don't know if I can save her. I want you to take her. Find a district that can help her, and when she's well return home. I'll watch over Ender and Deyan. I have to stay with them. You can go." My heart leaped inside my chest. My eyes locked onto my daughter's eyes, and for the first time I saw how weak she was. She was vulnerable, and right now she needed me more than ever. "Thalia, you're asking a lot of me. And you know the risk of trespassing in the woods. But I'll get her to a district that can help. And when she's better, I'll return home. I promise my love."

I turned to face Ender and Deyan. Tears sprang from my eyes, and I couldn't control myself in front of them. Wrapping them in my arms, I held each of them close. "Daddy loves you all more than you can ever imagine." My words were quiet as I kissed each of them on top of the head. "It's time for you all to go to sleep though. Tomorrow is a new day." For a moment they fought against me, but somehow I managed to get them all tucked in. Thalia walked in behind us singing songs to them keeping them before they finally drifted off to sleep. My mind raced as I stepped outside, and for the first time I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. Sneaking off into the woods was a horrible crime, but I couldn't just let my daughter die in front of me. I had to save her. "Thalia, I want you to know that I love you more than ever. Deyan and Ender will ask questions, but you have to answer them. Take care of them, my love. I promise to take care of Akilah to the best of my ability."

And with that I wrapped our daughter in a blanket and headed out into the district. Sneaking around was hard, but I knew to stay out of the lighted areas. I held my daughter close to me because the idea of losing her was far more than anything I could ever imagine. It broke my heart even thinking about the fact that this escape could end her, but I couldn't let her die without trying to get the help she needed. Several times I had to stop and hide behind buildings because the sound of peacekeepers patroling the area filled my ears. Each breath caught in the back of my throat making it impossible to do anything. My lungs screamed for air as I moved around carefully making sure I was as quiet as I could possibly be. It was a rather large district, and I knew that I had to reach the woods by morning because if I didn't, this entire situation would only become a hell of a lot worse than it already was. Yet when it was quiet, I took of sprinting as fast as I could praying my daughter would survive.

I'll never forget how I felt when I saw the fence. It was almost impossible to get to the other side. I guess being malnourished had its advantages. Rolling her under the fence carefully to the other side, I followed behind her. I refused to breath and move until I slid safely to the other side. Picking her up off the ground, I ran as fast as I could away from the district not knowing which direction I was headed. It was beyond my wildest imagination as to where I would end up, but it didn't stop me.

We spent several days in the woods. I lost track of how many days had gone by, but guessing by the amount of facial hair I had grown, the amount of body odor, and the fact that my tiny daughter was getting bigger made me feel like it was such a long time, and I still hadn't found another district. During the day, I would move quietly through the district carrying my daughter, and by night I would set up a tiny camp for the two of us. It was enough to shelter us from the rain. Akilah would sleep at night, and I was afraid to let myself go to sleep because I wanted to stay awake and prepared in case anything came our way whether it was some sort of wild animal, or a human. I had to be prepared to lift my daughter into the air and run. It worked well for the longest time, but eventually it stopped working, and peacekeepers caught up to us.

Wrapping my daughter in my arms, I sprinted as fast as I could. I was stupid to think I could outrun the peacekeepers, but I had to try. I had to keep going. I made a promise to my wife, but it was slowly looking like a promise I wouldn't be capable of keeping. My lungs were aching with every step I took as I weaved in and out of the trees, yet it wasn't enough. A net fell from the sky landing on top of us trapping us, and I knew then that this entire situation was over. I don't know how I missed the hovercraft above me, but everyone makes mistakes. Tears swam down my face as the peackeepers marched closer and closer. Fear ran wild throughout my entire body as I tried to shield my daughter. I wanted to protect her from whatever was going to happen. I wanted to keep her safe. I begged them to leave my daughter alone. I told them over and over that it was my own fault. That I was the one who deserved to be punished. Not her. Yet it felt like the more I begged, the more joy they had of tormenting me. One of the peacekeepers pulled me from my daughter as another one shot her right in front of me. I screamed at the top of my lungs as tears fell freely from my face. A baton met the side of my head forcing the world to turn black.

That was two years ago.

Since then so much has changed in my life. They took my tongue away from me, and they stripped me of my dignity leaving me a worthless avox. They tortured me with every means possible, and no matter how many times I told the truth, it only backfired against me. I was beat to a bloody pulp. Many of my bones were broken. Fingers and toes were severed from my body. My once tan skin became pale from the many years of being trapped inside the darkness. My hair has grown back some, but they always force me to keep myself clean cut. The whites of my eyes are stained red from the many sleepless nights and the ocean of tears I've shed. It's almost impossible to cry anymore. I thought I was underweight before, but now it's only worse. All of my ribs are noticeable. My face is sunken. It's like I'm just a slab of skin placed on top of a skeleton. Burn scars cover my arms and legs from the many times they set fire to my body.

I thought being an avox wasn't so bad until a group of scientist took me away.

The first time I was there, they gave me a hospital gown that was two sizes too large for me. Each night they locked me away in a room away from the rest of the world. My name was taken away from me, and all they gave me was a number. Every waking second I crouched in the corner praying they would forget about me because I didn't want to see them. I didn't want anything to do with them. I couldn't even beg them to stop because my voice was gone. All that I am now is a number. A nameless number waiting in line for whatever happens next. I would do anything to return to close my eyes and wake up in my own bed with this only being a nightmare, but I know it's not because this is reality. This is my life. This is what I've become.