Apologies!

hi all!^^ so, I have been doing a lot of thinking and I have realized that, in recent times, I have dropped the ball quite a bit here on the site. For a while I didn't write, I've allowed real-life issues to cloud my judgement and intensify disagreements, I haven't been been active on the cbox, and until fairly recently, my activity in general has been a mess. And I realized I haven't spoken out about it. I've sort of just expected you all to be okay with it without ever explaining why these are all issues in the first place.

My (biggest) disappearance occurred when I was supposed to spend two days with my mother in Louisiana, which incidentally turned into staying for a very large sum of time in a house with no internet and little cell ph be service. Honestly, it doesn't matter anyway. At the very least, I could have posted that I was going for the two days and I failed to do so.

As for the rest, I felt as if it didn't matter either way what I did or where I was. I didn't feeo significant or important. But I've realized that isn't true. I have many great, great friends on this site and there are tons of people here I haven't gotten the chance to know yet, but please know that I do intend on it as soon as possible.

I wanted to say that I plan on being better. I plan on being more active and helping out more. I realize that, as an older member, I am expected to be a bit more professional and helpful for newer members and, frankly, I haven't done that. But I want to help. I want to bury this disgusting person I have been in hopes of grow bf and helping others grow.

I am sincerely sorry, guys. I hope I can be forgiven. I hope you will all forgive me for my past and allow me to grow into a better future. Thanks for reading!!

Tl;dr: I am trash and am going to try and no longer be trash.