:| Confrontations |: {Semper}
Sept 18, 2015 1:47:40 GMT -5
Post by ᕙʕ•ᴥ•ʔᕗ on Sept 18, 2015 1:47:40 GMT -5
There was once a time when I could only describe my emotions as a cloud, when feelings that rained down could have fallen under any category. There was no label for each and yet they affected me so much that I couldn’t discern if I was crying or laughing or yelling. But that was all in the past. I was happy now, able to control the emotions I felt and yet sometimes tears would fall when I saw Sundra and Storm at night. I was five years older than they had been when they left District 5 permanently; I knew I had to move on with my life.
The new household became familiar, my job was a source of light, and most importantly, I still had my family. I stopped grieving for those already gone. I had moved on. It helped that I had no reason to be rattled. The last time I had to confront my emotions was a long time ago in a much different district. Did I still harbor those bad feelings? I had let my emotions get the best of me that time, perhaps said some things the more civil side of me wouldn’t have even dreamt up.
But I was much better now or at least that’s what I’ll keep telling myself to sleep at night. I still only worked part-time at the ranch—the Blackcoats couldn’t afford to pay me full-time wages when the demand was so low—but being with the animals was relaxing. And for the first time since Tanner had left, I began to move on. Nothing ever happened between the two of us, but how I felt didn’t help the cloud of emotions that had been hanging over my head when I was that age. No, things were definitely starting to look up as I became more independent, more alert about myself.
It would take me much longer to be completely healed, but for the time being, I thought nothing could rile me up. That was until I spotted a young boy. He looked much younger than me, and yet there was something about him that drew me toward him. Perhaps it was because he looked like he was as old as I was when Storm left me for the last time. Or maybe it was because there was something about the atmosphere around him. I was never one to believe in “aura”s or whatever label people gave those sensations, but I couldn’t help feeling it myself as I wondered who he was and why I felt so drawn to him.
I walked forward slowly, testing the waters before diving in completely. However, the more time I took, the more self-aware I became. Who is he? Does he find me strange like I do him? “Hello,” I said in a low voice. Why was I talking to him? Why was I even bothering? Talking to strange people was not something I could do and yet, he looks harmless, doesn’t he? I felt a strange pull somewhere deep in my gut that made me start to doubt myself. Who is he?
The new household became familiar, my job was a source of light, and most importantly, I still had my family. I stopped grieving for those already gone. I had moved on. It helped that I had no reason to be rattled. The last time I had to confront my emotions was a long time ago in a much different district. Did I still harbor those bad feelings? I had let my emotions get the best of me that time, perhaps said some things the more civil side of me wouldn’t have even dreamt up.
But I was much better now or at least that’s what I’ll keep telling myself to sleep at night. I still only worked part-time at the ranch—the Blackcoats couldn’t afford to pay me full-time wages when the demand was so low—but being with the animals was relaxing. And for the first time since Tanner had left, I began to move on. Nothing ever happened between the two of us, but how I felt didn’t help the cloud of emotions that had been hanging over my head when I was that age. No, things were definitely starting to look up as I became more independent, more alert about myself.
It would take me much longer to be completely healed, but for the time being, I thought nothing could rile me up. That was until I spotted a young boy. He looked much younger than me, and yet there was something about him that drew me toward him. Perhaps it was because he looked like he was as old as I was when Storm left me for the last time. Or maybe it was because there was something about the atmosphere around him. I was never one to believe in “aura”s or whatever label people gave those sensations, but I couldn’t help feeling it myself as I wondered who he was and why I felt so drawn to him.
I walked forward slowly, testing the waters before diving in completely. However, the more time I took, the more self-aware I became. Who is he? Does he find me strange like I do him? “Hello,” I said in a low voice. Why was I talking to him? Why was I even bothering? Talking to strange people was not something I could do and yet, he looks harmless, doesn’t he? I felt a strange pull somewhere deep in my gut that made me start to doubt myself. Who is he?
