Stand Strong {cato!jb blitz}

I knew he'd be here first. He doesn't speak much. Just my name. He don't need to say no more though. Its like I can hear his thoughts. Know his heart. He feels guilty about me being sent off to the games. "Say no more brother. I know what you're thinking. You're the one who should be here. At home. I never had a future. You have so much more to live for brother. At least with my being reaped, I can finally do some good. Make Crusader proud."

I want to break down. Cry my heart out. Only if I do, I would only make things worse for everyone who will come to see. I can't even do anything in front of my brother for fear of him breaking down. I have to remain strong for if I don't, then who will? "Do you remember when he was reaped?" I don't speak his name. The memory of his death and how close he had been is too much to bear. Crusader was so close. He could have won. "I know he'd want us both to remain positive. I'll make it back brother. Don't you worry."

I know in my heart that I'll make it back. It won't be breathing. No. I'll come back lifeless, cold, and in a box. Being crowned with the blood of twenty-three others is not how I want to live. My family is not about taking the lives of others. Crusader regretfully took a life, but he realized what happened. I know that I should be thinking about myself, but I refuse to sacrifice who I am just to live the rest of my life torn in a million pieces. If I can do one good thing before I die, it'll be to get my district partner home.

"How can I stay strong. I'm afraid. I'd like to say I'll remain true to myself. That I won't kill anyone. I'll change and it won't be pretty. I'll most likely end up killing someone. How do I come to terms with that?" I'm quite literally walking in my brother's footsteps. Reaped for the games. Scared out of our minds. The only difference being that I have mentors now. I want to have hope that I'd make it home. That having some help could mean the difference between life and death. I won't know the horrors that await me. Seeing things on television and experiencing them first hand are two different things. I'm afraid.

I bump fists with my brother. The important thing is to be strong for my brothers. They don't need to know how terrified I am or how hopeless I feel. They have to believe that I want to come home alive. They need to keep on hoping they'll see me breathing in this district again. I don't plan on coming back with blood on my hands. This time in weeks, I'll be buried under the ground never to be remembered again. I know it in my heart. My brothers don't need to feel that though. Never will I expose them to my hopelessness.

Three long years have passed. My family had hope that Crusader would make it. I'm mirroring him more than I should at this point. I remember my talk with him and how he comforted me. Just like I'm doing now for Elidor. I want to tell the truth, but it would only make him feel worse. He doesn't need to be sad. He has a lot to live for. I was unlucky enough to be reaped. No one volunteered for me nor would I have allowed anyone to do so. I've accepted my fate. Death will meet me so much sooner than I ever expected in life. That's okay though. I finally found some happiness in Navya. My brothers are safe for another year. I love them all with my life. "Don't you dare worry about me! I'll make it home. You'll be seeing me very shortly okay?"