dead hearts to you | scope, hannah, & crest

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я𝑜𝓈𝑒
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2,890 POSTS

Pronouns: she/her/they/them
last seen Nov 23, 2023 2:34:11 GMT -5

anyway don't be a stranger

dead hearts to you | scope, hannah, & crest Sept 28, 2015 7:06:24 GMT -5

Quote

Post by я𝑜𝓈𝑒 on Sept 28, 2015 7:06:24 GMT -5

Tick tock.

It's like I can see the time slipping away from me in an hourglass before me eyes. The sand, trickling into a great pile of doom. My death sentence has been stacked upon my head and shoulders. The Capitol has turned me into Atlas - I am holding up my own sky as my bones are slowly crushed beneath the weight, my fingers so white and holding onto dear life.

They are in my arms, my brothers. Scope and Crest, Scope and Crest, Scope and Crest -

I linger on their names, I linger on their faces, for I fear terribly that they will slip through my fingers with my downfall.

Tick tock.

Blue eyes, burned into the backs of my own. Grave faces, as if we are staring at the epitaph etched into my headstone -

IN LOVING MEMORY OF
HANNAH O'LEARY
54 - 71
FOREVER BLAZING

I am engulfed in their warmth, savoring the final heartbeats of theirs I will hear. Their breaths are music, their glances are treasures. And I can never submerged myself in enough it, not when my time is so scarce.

They are my brothers and they can't tear us apart -

but they will.

I will still be their sister - just locked in a casket six feet under. And I won't have a heart to love them, I won't have eyes to see them.

I won't be at all.

It is not the Capitol I am going to, not the arena - not truly.

I am headed for oblivion, where my flesh and bones and everything that makes me Hannah will shatter and disperse.

Tick tock.

Tick tock.

"We don't have much time," I say to my brothers. "It's cliche, but I need to say that I love you. I haven't said it enough it the past five years. And now, I'm never going to have the opportunity again. So I love you, Scope and Crest."

My mouth moves with urgency and my eyes are frantic, looking upon them, drinking in every last detail of their faces - the lines of their jaws, the slope of their nose . . . .

"Everyone knew it was going to be me. I - I've accepted that."

(No, I'm still screaming on the inside.)

"But maybe . . . maybe with my sacrifice, they'll leave our family alone. Crest and Marbles and Katerina could walk free."

you say you do but you don't deceive me
dead hearts are everywhere

❧

{ table: zoë }

Last Edit: Sept 29, 2015 17:31:50 GMT -5 by я𝑜𝓈𝑒

"even stars burn out."

Kire
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last seen Jul 16, 2015 21:45:21 GMT -5

thinking about thonking

dead hearts to you | scope, hannah, & crest Sept 28, 2015 19:48:44 GMT -5

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Post by Kire on Sept 28, 2015 19:48:44 GMT -5

○ ◯ ◌ ○ ◯ ◌ ○ ◯ ◌ ○ ◯ ◌

S C O P E O 'L E A R Y
Z i n g L e e r

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Says, Thinks

Fuck the god damned Capitol and their stuck up, arrogant, bastard ways. I hate them with a passion stronger than bloodlust. One O'Leary could never be enough, now they had to take two.

I want to burst out of the crowd and yank Hannah behind me. I would fight to the death to keep her from the arena. "Take me instead!" I want to shout. They won't let me, though, the Capitol and my own parents. This is the way the world is, and I fucking hate it. Hannah is my saviour, and I know she is Col's saviour too. She holds our worlds together when we normally would have fallen free of sense and gravity. It was Hannah that pieced me back together after each fight, tending my wounds and knocking my pride down when my head became too big. Now I couldn't even return the favour. I wouldn't be there to stitch up her cuts and put ice on swollen knuckles, or help her in anyway like she had helped me before.

FUCK THE FUCKING CAPITOL I WANT MY SISTER.

My steps are thunderclaps down the hallway and the doors burst apart the moment my hands touch them. I am a raging hurricane and I am here to bring my sister back home. Level the Capitol, raze the city, burn the buildings. Most of all, slit Snow's neck and let him bleed like he caused so many people to before - like he is going to cause my sister to.

My sister who looks up at me with an expression that rings my heart of all of the angera and just leaves it - and me - empty inside. Where once my blood boiled with never ending rage there is now only infinite loss. I stop dead in my tracks, looking at here as my heart crawls out of my chest and oozes its way to rest at her feet. "God Hannah, I'm sorry." The despair in my voice seems to shake the room, or maybe I was what was shaking. I force myself to stand steady, but I can't stand separate from her.

Two strides are all it takes to lock my arms around and pull her close. I think I'm mouthing "I'm sorry" into her hair but my mind isn't there. The door opens again and Crest enters. Immediately I extend an arm to him, inviting him to join us. We stand there together in silence for a while, listening to each other breathe and live. For now echoes in my head and I bury my face in Hannah's hair to hide the tears.

"We don't have much time," she sounds almost too calm for this, but I had always known there was a fire in her. "It's cliche, but I need to say that I love you. I haven't said it enough it the past five years. And now, I'm never going to have the opportunity again. So I love you, Scope and Crest." Every fire burns out, though, and her inner spark had apparently started to waver. Damn, damn it, damn it, damn it. She's talking like she's signed to death already.

I meet her eyes but they dart over my face, my whole body. She's looking me over, memorizing, and I'm doing it to her too. God, I can't let myself think this is the last time I would ever see her. Colgate had come back, she could too. "Everyone knew it was going to be me. I - I've accepted that." There's a catch in her voice, or I think I hear one anyway, and her eyes are shadowed with desperation. "But maybe . . . maybe with my sacrifice, they'll leave our families alone. Crest and Marbles and Katerina could walk free."

I want to hit her, to knock this... whatever this was out of her. Instead, I grip her by the shoulder, squeezing lightly. "Hannah, no one's sold your soul to death. There is no contract or law telling you that you must die." I shake her gently before pulling her against me again. "So don't fucking die, okay. Col came back, so can you." I pull back to look her in the face. My baby sister, ready to go fight a war she thinks she has to lose. "Don't give up on yourself. Please, for me, don't ever give up on yourself."

And I stop now because I don't know what else I can say.

○ ◯ ◌ ○ ◯ ◌ ○ ◯ ◌ ○ ◯ ◌

On hills and waves on stormy days.

kousei ♚
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now and forever

dead hearts to you | scope, hannah, & crest Sept 29, 2015 10:24:34 GMT -5

Quote

Post by kousei ♚ on Sept 29, 2015 10:24:34 GMT -5

What's the point?

No seriously, what's actually the whole point? What was the point in Col fighting for his life? What was the point in me being forced to watch and agonise over his possible death, what was the point in me staring at that screen for hours and hours on end just so that we wouldn't lose a member of our family. What was it all for? What was all that anxiety? Crying, hoping, praying, cursing, screaming, sulking. Was it all for nothing? Was it all just so that I could lose someone either way? Maybe this was all set in blood, an O'Leary would have to go, and if it wasn't Colgate then it was Hannah, if it's not Hannah then maybe it's Scope Or me, what if I'm next?

A graveyard, all I can think of is a graveyard because that's what I'm likely to be seeing in about a mont with all those tombstones and memories. I was so grateful that I wouldn't have to see one but maybe I'm just destined to find myself in a field of memories and lost hopes and dreams. Don't leave, please don't leave me. It's deathly silent, I'm going to see her, at least one last time before I end up seeing her on a television screen. And the vicious cycle will continue: the crying, the hoping, the praying. It will never end because it's not allowed to end, not until all of us are in the ground or we escape reaping age.

I slowly swing the door open and I see strangers when I step inside.

I've never seen the brother that defended me so mightily and viciously so grief-stricken and weak. I've never seen the sister I'd known all my life so hollow and dead. That's just what the games do to you. Memories swim past my mind of when Colgate was in the justice building after volunteering. My hero. Colgate's a super hero, he won and beat all the bad kids - I've never heard of a super hero having a super sister. Not once. But still, her embrace is a warm blessing that will linger with me for the rest of my life.

"It's cliche, but I need to say that I love you. I haven't said it enough it the past five years. And now, I'm never going to have the opportunity again. So I love you, Scope and Crest." Her voice sends an aura of calm coursing through me. How can she be so calm? So level headed? It's taking every fibre in my being not to break down and sob. It's not fair. Scope is strong, Hannah is strong, Colgate is a super hero. So why does Hannah have to go? She's strong, I'm the weak one.

Scope speaks, going on and on about how she can't die, his voice reeks of such raw optimism (or is it desperation, the different isn't very clear to me anymore) but it still can't lift my spirits up. No, my spirit sunk the moment Hannah's name got called out. I'm so empty now, emptier than this hollow room. I don't have the energy, I can't do the cycle again; I just can't.

I force the words through my throat and out of my mouth. They come out so dry that I'm pretty sure the difference in our moods is noticeable from a mile away. "I'll miss you, I'll miss, you, I'll miss you." I feel tiny rivers flow down my cheeks that it's unmistakable. I'm crying aren't I?

I think that's all I know how to do anymore.

I can't be so optimistic or desperate, I can only be weak, tired and so weak.I wasn't lying when I said that I'll miss her, she's going to stay with me forever and that's all I can say, it's all I can think. But the cycle, I cannot carry that air of hope again.

It's the truth and nothing but the truth from a weak little boy.