I believe I can fly {Frankel}

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Blasting its glare through the curtains, I’d groan at the sun’s alarm would awake me. Every morning is a battle for me, I hate it. Whoever invented the morning should be damned, how is it easily possible to roll out of such a comfy bed? It’s hard to let go of my relationship with the comfort as I have spent so many hours with it during the night. But today all the groaning and moaning must be deposited for I am to hang out with Teagan again and this time we’re doing something I like, cliff diving! But the bed is so comfy…five more minutes?

No Mina.

Battling it out inside me, an internal war between motivation and laziness would play itself out; the winner being motivation. Dragging myself from the bed, my feet would hit the splintering wooden floorboards as I’d prepare myself for today. My brothers and father of course will be out working but unfortunately my mother is still in the house. I haven’t bothered telling her about my activity for today, I know she will try and deter me from doing it. Even though my father used to get involved with me and my brothers antics on the beach, my mother always protested about it, she is a safety freak. She just needs to learn how to loosen up a little.

Throwing on some clothes, I’d quickly get myself ready for the day; I am probably running late anyway. It is a norm for me so I always have a plan of getting out of it. Trotting downstairs, I’d slip into the kitchen, grapping an apple. Usually I’d skip breakfast but today it seems my stomach is protesting about being starved. I don’t want the feeling of being hungry, ruining my experience with Teagan, I want to live through it all happy.

Popping out of the door, I’d head out of the house. Anticipation for this day has been taking over my mind since the moment we left the beach that night. During sleep I have been dreaming about our night on the ocean under the moon’s light, my prediction of it never leaving my mind was true. Hopefully this day will be as good as that night, for I am the host of the activity today although it will be different to that night. This time we actually know each other a little bit and I am determined to learn a bit more today. Does Teagan have the balls to jump off the cliff like I do?

Quickening my pace, I know I am definitely behind the time I told Teagan to expect me. Speeding from a walk to a slight jog, my mind would be running with the possibilities of the day. Will he even be there? Has he bailed out on me? Will he enjoy it? Could we get hurt? Wiping away the paranoia swamping my head, I’d reach the beach. As the sand would hit my bare feet, a sudden rush of relaxation would take over my body.

Scanning the beach for Teagan, I’d quickly identify him sat in the sand. Trotting over to him, a smile would trail from one ear to the other. ”Hey Teagan!”

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Words: 533

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Rubbing away the sleep that still infests in my eyes, I’d try to hide away my tiredness. No matter how hard I try to fight the power of the morning, I abruptly fail. I’ve grown to use to not being a morning person and it seems the night time is the only moment my body wants to be alive. I don’t want to look drowsy in front of Teagan, I want to actually look like I am enjoying myself. Unfortunately, we’re unable to do cliff diving during the night, I am sure it wouldn’t be safe. I am an adrenaline drunky but I’d rather not end up dead in the ocean.

Pouring out the limited energy inside of me, the awakening sun seems to be more energetic than myself. Pouring its rays across the growing blue sky, it welcomes a new day to the District of Four. Many have already flocked to the beach, be it to relax or to work, many people are already beginning their business. Thankfully, I pleaded my way out of work today, seeing as I haven’t had a full day off for weeks. Who would want to be gutting fish to miss out an opportunity like this? Anyone not normal, most likely someone like my mother.

Excitement begins to roll around inside of me, as anticipation begins to build. He’s here, we’re ready to go. The thought of him not turning up had not crossed my mind. I don’t see why he would miss such opportunity. From what I learned from that night, he is a sweet guy and I doubt he’d turn me down.

Stretching across my face, a smile would begin to take over my expression. I’m so happy to see you!” His comment would send butterflies inside of me. Flattered at his remark, I can feel my cheeks begin to burn, they’re probably a shade of red to his eyes. Giggling slightly, I’d try to hide my blushing with my hand, as I spin around into the direction to the cliff.

Appropriately, I picked a meet up point which wasn’t too far away from the cliff base where we are going to jump from. I’ve been here so many times with my brothers, it is like another home. I have a map to the area carved inside my head. Since I suggested the idea to Teagan, memories of us together there have played through in my mind. I miss those moments so dearly but I feel so pleased that I could be reliving them with Teagan.

”It’s not too far away, just up the beach, we’ll have to climb up some steps to get there but it’s not hard. I used to come here all the time.” Leading the way to the destination, excitement would charge my legs, my mind swimming in possibilities. I do hope Teagan will enjoy this.

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Splashing at my ankles, sand begins to attack my naked feet. The beach has the best surface to walk on. Springy and soft, occasionally warm to the sole of the foot. It is also the best place to fall asleep on. The sand somehow wraps itself around me, cradling me from the cold. Despite it always finding its way into clothes and especially knickers, it is still the best place to walk. Not the concrete roads outside my house that likes to peel my skin off whenever I fall onto it, the sand is a great cushion and it is hard to injure yourself on it.

I’ve never planned something like this before. Whenever I have hung out with anyone, they’ve always been the one set the quota for the day. I need to make sure it is a brilliant day, a day to remember like the first night we spent together. I’ve been craving time to spend with Teagan since that night and today seems an optimistic one.

Beginning the journey to the cliffs, only the excitement for the moment swirls around in my mind. This will be so fun. Memories of the times I spent with my brothers here, sit well as evidence for my excitement. The adrenaline before you step off the cliff edge, the split second of stillness when you plummet to the water and the relief when the ocean captures you. It is such a magical moment and I can’t wait to spend it with Teagan. Maybe if he enjoys it, we can spend more days like this together…forever. I think I’ve found a lifelong friend and I don’t want to let go of our growing bond together.

I don’t care if my mother will unimpressed with our friendship. I am old enough now to tear through the chains she has wrapped around me. All my life she has forced me to do the things she wants me to do. I’ve never had the chance to lead my own life and only recently have I slowly begun to slip a few limbs out of the cage she has around me. Hopefully these days spent outdoors will be the guiding point for my escape and maybe Teagan could be my accomplice.

Glancing back towards Teagan, a smile would flash onto my face. ”Oh we won’t get lost, don’t worry.” I begin to worry that Teagan might be frightened about the activity that we’re going to start. I haven’t even asked him if he enjoys things like this. I feel like I have just thrown him into it. Moving back towards Teagan, I’d slip my hand onto his, holding it gently. ”Don’t worry, I’ve done this so many times.” As I hold his arms, a warm sensation sends vibrations through my body. A flush of emotions takes over my veins. Just the slight touch of his skin has sent me in all these directions. There is something hypnotizing about him. Shaking off the thought, I’d continue to guide us to our location.

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Facing my fears has been a key element in my life but I learned something to deter from doing it. The only words that my mother has blessed me with, which I actually believe. We’re giving fear for a reason, to stop us from dying. If we weren’t all afraid of something, we’d all be dropping like flies due to stupid things. It’s a natural instinct which we shouldn’t have to overcome. Even if someone is afraid of the littlest things, it isn’t bad at all. Thankfully I am not one bit afraid of heights, which means it will probably not be my killer. My only great fear is dead fish and well I work with them every day so I’ve already predicted my own death.

As the realisation hits me that I still have my hand in his, it seems he hasn’t declined it. His warm smooth skin slides across my palm. I do hope my hands are not sweaty. Wanting to keep our hands locked together forever, I wonder if I should take us on a detour, maybe that way I can hold him just a little bit longer. Glancing around, I’d realise that we aren’t that far away anyway and excitement seems to be taking charge of all the rest of my emotions.

”I use to do this like every week, same spot.” I’d inform Teagan, hoping to reassure any worries he may have lingering inside of him. ” With my brothers probably like every time they had a day off, it’s all safe. We’ve never come away injured, not even a scratch.” I can remember the panicked face on my mother when we told her of the activities we did each day. I am surprised the woman actually cared. Every time we went out, she tried to deter us from stepping out of the house, unlike her, we actually had a life. I still can’t believe we all share the same blood with her.

Stepping off the beach, I’d lead Teagan off to the top of the cliffs up an embankment. ”We’re not far now.” Sand began to disappear from the track and was replaced by dead turf and the odd covering of dirt. My naked feet began to plead for a softer surface again, although it would be awhile before I get them back onto soft sand again. Our jumping point is decorated with rocks so it will give no mercy to my bare soles.

Quickly the cliff top began to immerge in the distance. A nice steep vertical cliff, with no hazards sticking out to catch us in our descent to the water. Painted ivory, the cliffs are made up of a sedimentary rock, chalk. Many times have me and my brothers slipped a few of the rocks into our pockets as they make great writing materials on the pavements. Releasing my hold of Teagan, I’d hurry to the edge of the cliff, looking directly down it. It has been over a year since I was last here and the ocean’s waves have done well to erode away the cliff face. Thankfully there are no hazards yet from the power of the ocean so it seems we’re safe. ”A nice clean drop down, no rocks in our way.”

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If it wasn’t for my daredevil ways, I would probably be dead. I know my mother would greatly disagree with that and believe my daredevil ways will likely kill me but if it wasn’t for freedom like this, my life would be dull. Gutting fish all day and living a scheduled life is not something I want to be doing forever. I live in one of the most fortunate Districts that has so much to offer, that’s why I didn’t take on the career life. I didn’t want to be tied down; I never want to be tied down. Nobody has a leash on me and they never will. I am a free spirit and I have the controls of my life, not even my mother can take over them. Nobody will ever influence me to do wrong as it will be likely me facing the consequences.

Glancing down the cliff edge, all my worries would topple down over it. When I am doing things like this, all the stress is wiped clean from my mind. The face of my mother eliminated and the clasp she has wrapped around me torn apart. If only I could throw her across this cliff, it would fix a lot of troubles in my life. However I don’t think living an eternity in the detention centre will run well with my free personality.

Crumbling from the face of the cliff, a piece of chalk would bounce into the ocean below. Calm waters make me optimistic about today’s activity as all hazards seem to be out of sight. I am not one for being careful but from what I can see, we’re safe from the possibility of drowning or falling on a rock. I have heard many horror stories about people doing this in the past but it doesn’t deter me. It seems the odds are always in my favour and I must relish that.

Turning around to face Teagan, excitement begins to trail around my body as I am eager to get going. ”I’ll jump first, just to show you how to do it.” Spinning back around, I’d aim my pointing finger across the cliff. ”Down there is a small slope, if you climb it, it will eventually come back up here. It is all safe, there are steps eventually up it” I still wonder to this day who installed those steps. Despite being eroded by overtime weathering, they’re still doing their job. I praise whoever put them there, someone more interesting than my mother likely.

All the short responses from Teagan begin to hit me. Is he worried? Will be bail out on me? I haven’t even considered any worries that may be lingering inside of him. When I was worrying about surfing he reassured me that he would protect me. I must do this for Teagan.

Approaching him, I’d take him by the hands gently, my eyes fixed onto his as I’d try to give off a reassuring mood. ”Are you ok?” I’d ask, trying to dig out any worries that may be hidden deep within him. ”If you’re scared then it’s ok, I was the first time, you’ll be safe. If you don’t want to do it, it’ll be fine; we can just do something else.” A smile spreads across my face, as I’d try to warm up to Teagan.

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As I still have a hold of his hands, I’d try to send a reassuring vibe through him. I have never really been the one to comfort people but I must try my best to help Teagan. If he doesn’t want to do it, I don’t really care; I am sure there are a lot of other cool things we could do together. Some things that I like, a lot of people don’t like too. I am sure I will be able to find something else we both enjoy, besides surfing. Maybe something simple like eating cake, sunbathing on the beach or exploring the rock pools. I will have to keep those activities in mind for I am sure we will be hanging out again.

Attacking the face of the cliff, I can hear the crashes of the water as it tries to erode the rock face. Above us, a patrol of seagulls send out their call as the family floats around in the sky. Birds are so free, I wish I could grow wings and fly away. What lives beyond the ocean has always intrigued me and hopefully one day I will be able to explore it. One day I will be free from my mother and the Capitol, away from this damned land I call home.

Anticipation still swirls around inside of me as I am eager to throw myself over the cliff edge. To some the idea of jumping off a cliff is ridiculous, un-safe and stupid. All these words I usually get from my mother. Over time I have learnt to ignore her but as a child I would always suck up to my mother. Thankfully my brothers taught me to stand up to her; they all know that she is as tight as a fish’s ass, even my father. Yet we all still live with her…love her. There must be something that keeps us bonded to the vile woman.

Glancing into Teagan’s eyes, I’d remove my hand from his as I listen to him speak. I know he is likely nervous, a lot of people are their first time. ”Don’t worry about it.” A reassuring tone fills my words. ”I was scared my first time.”

I can remember the first time that I did it. As I child I always used to watch my brothers and their friends, they wouldn’t let me jump as I was “too young.” But for my eleventh birthday, they allowed me to do it. It took a lot of encouragement and attempts to push me off before I dived into the water but I am thankful that I did it. The split second that I was ascending down to the water feels like an eternity. It felt like my last moment on the planet, like I literally just killed myself. My fears swam around inside of me but were quickly drowned when I hit the water. As I reached the surface of the water, that was when the adrenaline kicked in and the fears were vanquished. It became very moreish, an addiction and I had to do it again and again. My brothers grew tired of me jumping in all the time and had to drag me home. I was banned from jumping by myself until I was fifteen but then I was free to do what I wanted.

Walking back to the cliff edge, I’d glance down at the drop. Before it used to send a wave of sickness in my stomach but now it is just my equipment of fun. ”It is a lot of fun really after the first time, you get addicted to it, a real adrenaline rush." Glancing back at Teagan, a smile would flash across my face. ”We could jump together the first time if you want?”

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Conquering fears and failing has been a great factor of my life, the first fear I ever had to tackle was my mother. A cruel brunt of a woman when I was an infant but I had to stand up to her and with the helping guidance of my brothers, I did just that.

Many times I have failed and many a times I have dragged myself up from the mess I had caused, wiped it clean and did it all over again. Being probably the most dumbest of my family, I still know that life has its quirks and the only possible way to survive is to push on through hard times. I live in a cruel world but I mustn’t let that deter me from doing what I wish to do, if I was tied down by stupid petty things then there is no point in continuing with life. Fears, stress, happiness, all those emotions are a part of life that we need to go through. If we didn’t, then we are not human and it would be impossible for us to function in this world.

Humans are fragile but we must build armour around ourselves if we are to survive.

Inspecting the area around us, the see breeze would begin to attack my skin, sending slight goose bumps across my body. Despite the ever marching winter it seems today the ocean isn’t affected by the changing seasons just yet. Soon, I will have to walk away from here for a couple of months until spring waves hello to us all but there are plenty of things to do in the winter and hopefully I will be able to share them with Teagan. But first, I need to get this done correctly; I need to make sure he feels safe.

Our first encounter with each other, my brain was in turmoil and tried to drag me away from the situation and I guess it is doing the same for Teagan. With guidance and reassurance, Teagan helped me overcome my fear and I must do that for him right now. Although no matter how much I want him to do this with me, I can’t force it upon him, it wouldn’t be fair. I want to make a bonding friendship with him and if anything happens, well I would’ve totally ruined that for the both of us.

As enthusiastic words fall from his mouth, relief begins to swarm me as I’d plan our next move. We are to jump together the first time and I know after that, if all goes to plan; he won’t want to stop jumping off. I just need to get us over the first hurdle and then we’ll be on to a flyer.

”Well we’ll hold hands on the edge.” And with that call, I’d quickly slide my right hand onto his, trying to secure a relief of reassurance for him. ”Then I’ll count down if you want or jump whenever you want to but we must go at the same time, otherwise one of us will catch our heels on the edge…” Alarm bells would signal inside of me. Why tell him that, you idiot? Having explained a simple danger, I thought it would be good to make him aware of it. ”Although if one of us does, it won’t hurt much…just a scratch to the foot…but the adrenaline will make us forget about it.”

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