andorra konstantine ; lalia/dreamer ; white elephant
Jan 9, 2016 13:32:07 GMT -5
Post by Avalon on Jan 9, 2016 13:32:07 GMT -5
( C H A P T E R O N E )
Niko says my secret santa gift is stupid.1 He's wrong. I spent a lot of time making sure my present would be the most awesome thing ever ever ever. Today's party is kind of a big deal since all my neighbors are here and there's cake and all. This is the one time of year the library is loud so I had to go all out. Now I'm not usually one to brag2 and my knitting skills obviously aren't so great compared to some other people around here, but I put my whole heart3 and soul into this.
2Except about: my peanut butter and jelly sandwich cooking skills, hugging expertise, never forgetting when it's opposite day, I'm a pretty okay hoola hooper, inventing stories, skipping like... sooo high, making fish faces, professional-level giggling, high-fives, going on adventures, doodling and my taste in presents.
3My heart is still in my chest, but you know what I mean.5
4"What's a colon, Niko?" "It's your poop-shoot, Andorra. Stop asking stupid8 questions.
5I mean that would be pretty weird if I put an actual heart inside a present. That's definitely not something people do.11
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My gift is, without a doubt, the coolest cat hat ever.6 It looks like a shark I saw on television or in a dream or that I doodled one time... or maybe all three! What's important is that it has cute little button eyes and teeth that look like they're nomming kitty faces7 and it's not stupid at all. The only stupid thing in this room is my brother8 and for some reason I like him anyway. Still, the person who just picked my present9 looks way smarter than Niko because, obviously, they have a sixth sense for super fantastic awesomely wonderful things.10
Then we saw him step in on the mat!
We looked!
And we saw him!
The Cat in the Hat!13
And he said to us,
"Why do you sit there like that?"12
7
8So yeah, you could say he's pretty stupoopid, hahaha.
9It's wrapped in handmade holiday paper covered in doodles of kittens wearing festive hats and topped with a bow made of exactly twenty-seven paper snowflakes all bundled together to make one extra fluffy 3-d snowflake!!!!!
10Like cat hats.7
11...RIGHT?!?!!!
12See Appendix One: A
13I did not make a cat in a hat14 or a cat into a hat15 or a hat cat.16 I made a hat for a cat.7 Please do not be confused.17
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( A P P E N D I X O N E )
A. Seuss, Dr. The Cat in the Hat.17 New York, New York: Random House, 1957.
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