giving me your ( white blood ) // jb!blitz, nyte

Stare
Retired Staff

3,105 POSTS

Pronouns: she/her
last seen Nov 5, 2024 11:29:31 GMT -5

and i will hold you tight / like the moon in the arms of the sky

giving me your ( white blood ) // jb!blitz, nyte Jan 31, 2016 20:59:44 GMT -5

Post by Stare on Jan 31, 2016 20:59:44 GMT -5

i'm ready to fall, so tired of it all
down deep in a hole, can't do it alone
i'm ready to climb this mountain inside
impossible heights

Their hands left bruises blooming like dead flowers on her arms.

She was left alone in the large room. The silence was leaden, a weight that she could feel all the way down her spine. Each breath she took seemed to stagger, shuddering in her lungs, but she couldn't seem to make herself afraid. Maybe the fear would come later, when she was alone in a false wilderness with chattering teeth and scars that would never heal. Maybe it wouldn't. Death had been lingering in her life for a long time now, whispering between her ribs and riding through her veins. Why should this be any different?

""Ms. Brooker, your family is here to see you."

Danny's head snapped up, eyes wide as she took in the Keeper that stood in the doorway. His face was a canvas that had been blank too long to be beautiful, a window closed off to the world years ago. He waited for an answer he thought he already knew, one hand reaching for the doorknob. She felt a jolt of panic. "Don't!" The Keeper stopped, blinked at her. "I... I don't want to see them."

"Even the girl?"

Alex. It felt like a knife twisting in her chest. "Even her."

She could hear an argument outside the door when he closed it behind him, but a few minutes later it faded. Just after, though, he opened it again and looked in at her. "A young man wants to see you."

Aiden. She paused. Hesitated. Then, "Let him in."

Her hands gripped at the couch cushion as the door opened further. She saw his face and for the first time tears pricked at the back of her eyes. She fumbled for words for a moment. "I - my nose started bleeding this morning. Again."

said you'd always be my white blood
elevate my soul above
giving me your white blood
i need you right here with me

[nyte]
Head RP Tutor

4,678 POSTS

Pronouns: he/him
last seen Nov 15, 2024 13:09:48 GMT -5

oof

giving me your ( white blood ) // jb!blitz, nyte Jan 31, 2016 22:54:51 GMT -5

Post by [nyte] on Jan 31, 2016 22:54:51 GMT -5

[presto]

AIDEN S E D G W I C K

[/presto]

{ for him i am a burden
he has dreams
but our marvelous memories
have taken over me ;

Suddenly I am snow at the end of an eternal winter. I am cold, trodden and packed onto the dirty streets. And I am sat in front of a fire, blanket wrapped around my shoulders yet nothing seems to stop me from freezing over. From turning into diamonds bound to shatter upon these hardwood floors. And my blood will flow like rivers down a storm's drain.

I should go see her, I know I should go see her. Say goodbye, good luck; whatever you might say to a dying girl who has not only walked into death's embrace, but a painful one at that. It's not like I haven't thought about it, held forty pills in my palm and wondered whether it was worth downing the lot of them. Whether it was worth living these last few months with nothing but pills and agony to keep my company but-

Why? She knows that I will have to watch, she knows that we all have to watch. There is no turning a blind eye to these atrocities. Surely it was another's life saved but to throw yourself into a world of blood and betrayal is more than suicide. It's masochism.

I can't do this.

I am close to freezing over by the time I find myself facing her. Facing Danielle Brooker. And my eyes are already red, arms crossed against my chest in a desperate attempt to keep my heart from breaking any further.

I can't look her in the eyes, tears still crawling down the apples of my cheeks and staining the world a blurry sort of dark. "Don't go." And I wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her into my chest and begging for this moment to last for an eternity. "Please don't go."

I can't do this without you.

{ in your world
there wasn't any place for me
i tried to calm you down
but you said
you can see we are toward the end ;

table: fox.

the m o o n controls the t i d e, it could cause you to d r o w n

Stare
Retired Staff

3,105 POSTS

Pronouns: she/her
last seen Nov 5, 2024 11:29:31 GMT -5

and i will hold you tight / like the moon in the arms of the sky

giving me your ( white blood ) // jb!blitz, nyte Jan 31, 2016 23:22:42 GMT -5

Post by Stare on Jan 31, 2016 23:22:42 GMT -5

i'm ready to fall, so tired of it all
down deep in a hole, can't do it alone
i'm ready to climb this mountain inside
impossible heights

None of it was fair.

The moment she saw the glint of tears on his face she felt her own eyes flood and overflow and suddenly she was two years old again, afraid and alone and clinging to him like he was the last thing she had. And Ripred, why did it have to be them? Why were their souls chosen to be taken so quickly? What the hell had they done to deserve this kind of an ending to their storybook?

He was her best friend.

"I can't stay." Her voice was fractured like the glass they'd built their dreams out of. It hurt in the worst way, his tears and her shaking and something that wasn't quite regret tasting bitter on her tongue. And even if she was talking about the fact that she'd volunteered, even if she was speaking strictly about that other reality, her words had other meanings. In her mind she saw him fading, growing more pale, losing his hair, and no matter how hard she clutched at his hand she couldn't tether him to life. "I can't - "

But there were so many things she couldn't do. She couldn't climb hills like she used to without getting lightheaded, she couldn't put on weight, she couldn't stop the bleeding when it woke her up in the middle of the night. She couldn't hide her prominent rib cage and bony fingers forever. She couldn't reverse time. But this - this volunteering, this saving of a girl's life - this was something she could do.

And if she couldn't give Fate hell, she was going to do it to the Capitol, if only because she'd heard whispers in the hospital that they had cures they weren't sharing.

Pulling away from him, she tried to reach up and wipe away the trails of tears on his face. "I can't outlive you, Aiden. I just can't."

said you'd always be my white blood
elevate my soul above
giving me your white blood
i need you right here with me

[nyte]
Head RP Tutor

4,678 POSTS

Pronouns: he/him
last seen Nov 15, 2024 13:09:48 GMT -5

oof

giving me your ( white blood ) // jb!blitz, nyte Feb 1, 2016 20:23:44 GMT -5

Post by [nyte] on Feb 1, 2016 20:23:44 GMT -5

[presto]

AIDEN S E D G W I C K

[/presto]

{ for him i am a burden
he has dreams
but our marvelous memories
have taken over me ;

Her tears are acid rain, burning away the skin on my hands as I press my palms to her cheeks and wipe them away. Staining red eyes a perfect white once more. I'm scared. Scared of seeing what I have come to know perhaps better than my own broken breaths turn sour. To see her covered in her own poisoned blood and that of another's is my worst nightmare. She is pure, a white rose only tainted by her own black and blue stains. She is withering but whole and now her petals are falling onto my palms, crawling down my wrists.

"I can't outlive you Aiden, I just can't." She crumbling into a thousand pieces and it is all I can do to keep her together, for just a little while longer. Dammit, she wipes away the tears I forgot were falling and my heart breaks just a little more. I'm not ready. I'm not ready to see her go, to walk these familiar streets without her to laugh at the stupid jokes I crack. I'm not ready to be all alone again when my lungs turn to ash and crimson crawls onto my lips. (The fluid buildup is getting worse, death is approaching and I know it.)

How did I make it this far without her? And I understand, oh, I understand how much it hurts. It destroyed my father to see my mother die, her own radiance reduced to smoldering embers upon white sheets and it is why I have smiled through every metal stake shoved into my chest. Breathed deeply despite the barbed wire wrapped a hundred times around my body. I was going to be strong for her, for them. I wasn't going to die in a hospital bed and I know-

This is why she did it. This is why she volunteered. And maybe it's my fault, just a little bit, because I knew attachments were a terrible idea. It was the whole reason I walked seventeen years with my head hung low and my back turned to every sweet smile flashed my way. I wasn't going to be a selfish asshole and destroy someone like my mother did my father. I wasn't going to leave them that familiar husk of a human being to which he has been reduced.

And I hated her, my mother. I wondered how she could be so heartless to one she claimed to have loved.

I understand now.

"...Danny if... you win." My breath comes in short gasps, the rattling of cinder blocks in my heavy lungs something excruciating. I've become skilled at hiding the pain, the light headed pulsating of ebony spots in the back of my eyes. There is so much that sheer determination can do, I've found. "They'll fix you. If you win they can't have- a dying-."

There is warmth down the corner of my mouth, the taste of rotten pennies staining my tongue bright red. "If you win, it'll be okay."

So come back to me.

"So win."

{ in your world
there wasn't any place for me
i tried to calm you down
but you said
you can see we are toward the end ;

table: fox.

Last Edit: Feb 1, 2016 20:24:15 GMT -5 by [nyte]

the m o o n controls the t i d e, it could cause you to d r o w n

Stare
Retired Staff

3,105 POSTS

Pronouns: she/her
last seen Nov 5, 2024 11:29:31 GMT -5

and i will hold you tight / like the moon in the arms of the sky

giving me your ( white blood ) // jb!blitz, nyte Feb 4, 2016 0:17:28 GMT -5

Post by Stare on Feb 4, 2016 0:17:28 GMT -5

i'm ready to fall, so tired of it all
down deep in a hole, can't do it alone
i'm ready to climb this mountain inside
impossible heights

Almost as soon as he started speaking her heart plummeted and she was tempted to pull away, to squeeze her eyes shut and cover her ears and drown out the hopes he so desperately planted inside her, thinking they might someday bloom into a victory. But didn't he know? Her garden had been dead a long time ago. It had shriveled and dried out in a white room with a destiny she couldn't change.

Don't do this to me, Aiden. Don't try to lead me toward the light when you know I've just accepted my fate in the dark.

But she couldn't abandon him like this any sooner than she could deny him anything that he asked of her. They'd always been like that, hadn't they? He'd wormed his way in when she wasn't looking, when she wasn't paying attention, and found a place next to Alex in her life. A brother, a best friend, someone she needed. And that, she reminded herself, was why she was doing this. Because he had others and she didn't and it would be better this way.

"Shh." She reached up again, this time to wipe the blood away from his mouth with her thumb. She didn't even cringe. They'd long since adjusted to healing each other in the little ways - handing each other pills, helping clean up the blood, trying to patch up a bad morning with a walk and bad puns and some laughter - but in the end it was useless. They were fighting dragons with butter knives and they both knew it. One hand rested on his chest as if she could hear the rattling within it, as if she could calm his inner storm. "Don't hurt yourself. Everything's going to be fine."

She wouldn't win. And maybe, deep down, he knew it, too. He just wasn't ready to admit it. So she didn't dare say aloud the response that made a flame start in her chest when she thought of the Capitol and their pretty pills and shiny machines. I won't take any cure of theirs until they've given it to you first.

"You've seen what kind of people come from the Career districts," she murmured. "They've trained their whole lives for this. I'm an easy target for them, you know that. At least this way it'll come quickly." She paused, glanced up at him, then bit her lip and sighed. "But when have I ever gone down without a fight? I can't promise to win, but I can promise to give 'em hell."

said you'd always be my white blood
elevate my soul above
giving me your white blood
i need you right here with me