star light {arrows}

Fear radiates from my body sweeping across my skin. Every hair stood on end as I stared off into the distance watching the celebration continue below. In a way it made me sick knowing that in only a few hours these same people would cheer for the death of the tributes. But what can I do? To them I'm just another nameless face. One they'll soon forget the moment my face illuminates in the sky as the cannon blasts through the air the moment my heart stops beating. Yet here I am sitting on top of the world taking in my surroundings for only a moment as the wind gently flies by.

The same thought races through my mind over and over trapping itself inside me, and no matter how many times I try, I can't make it leave. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. Kirito can't save me. He can't take away the pain I'm going to feel within the next few hours. I wouldn't wish it on him anymore because he's already gone through it once. He's faced the horrors of the Capitol once before, and he shouldn't ever have to face it again. But I know that with Kirito by my side, at least for the time being, I can find myself enjoying the splendors the Capitol has given me.

It's amazing. The sight. The Capitol. All of it as they prepare me for a game of slaughter, but not once did I ever stop to think about how this makes me feel as a person. They took the worst of me and turned me into something better. Something stronger. Something that I never thought I would be. From my time at the Capitol I have learned so much. I made a friend. She taught me how to stand up for myself. She taught me I was stronger than I ever imagined. She taught me how to be me even in this horrific situation. Back home in eleven, I never had a friend. All I had was my family because everyone else shunned me because of my leg; however, I have learned that despite having a disability, I am capable of accomplishing anything I set my mind to. I just hope it's enough to survive.

I feel his arm resting across my shoulder, and I can hear his words echoing through my mind - I don't even need to turn around to see who it is. Kirito has found me, and I can feel myself starting to break because his words ring true. Tears stain the corner of my eyes threatening to fall down my face at any given moment, and I fight against them doing my best to keep them from falling. I try to remain strong as I sit beside my cousin. And it stings knowing that tomorrow when I'm placed in the arena all anyone will ever remember me as is the district eleven's male tribute. All I want is to remain Iain Miristioma. But even that seems almost impossible.

Inhaling sharply, I find myself spiraling farther and farther down as the tears slowly fall down my face. Nothing makes sense anymore. I wanted to grow up and have my own family. I wanted to have my own orchard, but now it's impossible because in only a few hours my face may illuminate the sky. Keeping my chin on my knees, I allow myself to speak. "I always want to be Iain Miristioma, Kirito. I don't want to be remembered as district eleven's male tribute of the seventy-second hunger games. I just want to be me. Nothing else. Just me. Is that too much to ask?" My voice cracks as the tears flow faster down my face forming a pool below me, but I never move from my spot because I know if I look at Kirito, I'll become a sobbing mess, and I don't think he'll be capable of consoling me.