Aiming for the right target [Cecian; Ems]

My hands gently caresses the soft sheets spread across the bed as tears run down the side of my face drenching the pillow beneath me. Life isn't even worth living anymore. All that awaits me is a future filled with pain, agony, and death. I stand no chance in the arena, and Kirito has to know that. He has to know that I'm a walking dead person. Just the other day I found something worthwhile. Something that made my mind completely forget about the horrors lingering before me. But now it all sits before me. Reality has slapped me across the face leaving me dumbfound. Twenty-four go in and only one comes out alive. Many questions fly through my mind forcing me to face the odds before me. I don't want to die. But do I really have an option if I want to remain true to myself? It's impossible especially when I look at what happened to my cousin. Watching his games terrified me, and I know it's not going to be easy. Nothing ever comes easily especially in a life where the nature of the world is to torment the innocent souls.

Wiping the tears away from my eyes, I force myself into a seated position on the bed knowing that I need to get ready to head back down to training. I promised Cecilia that I would meet her and we could find something we can do together. There has to be something I can do. My eyes turn towards the clock on the wall, and I realize that I'm running behind. In a split second the world crashes on top of me leaving me lifeless in bed. Throwing myself into a standing position, I run my hands through my hair trying to make it look decent before straightening out the uniform. The thundering of my heart echoes through my mind over and over bouncing around inside my skull as I head out of the room trying to run as fast as I possibly can while not making a fool of myself. I've already done that. Don't need to do that anymore. Seconds pass by before the elevator opens in front of me.

Soon I'm on the floor making my way as fast as I can towards the gym. My eyes dart around from station to station as I look for Cecilia. I would understand if she didn't want to be a friend anymore. It was probably a mistake to even make a friend here, but I had to have someone I can trust wholeheartedly, and Ceci is the person I ended up choosing. A friendly argument over the grapes changed the entire world for me. That's when I find her standing by herself at the knife throwing station. My heart sinks deep into the pits of my stomach as I try to figure out the exact words to say. Sliding along the shadows of the gym, I make sure I don't make eye contact with anyone. My eyes focus on the ground.

I'm overwhelmed by the horrible sense of guilt as I make my way towards her. I hope she's not mad. With a sigh, I force myself to stand as tall as I possibly can. Keeping my chin up, and my head held high, I refuse to let anyone knock me down - even Ceci. Only standing a few feet behind her, I watch as she launches one of the knives towards the dummy hitting the bicep. It's probably a lot better than anything I can do, and everything inside me tells me to run away to not even try to throw a weapon because it's only going to end bad. Yet I can't move. I can't do anything except hang my head as I fight to find something to say to alert her of my presence. Maybe congratulating her is a good place to start? Yeah. That'll work.

"Nice shot, Ceci." I say confidently allowing myself to take a deep breath before allowing myself the chance to continue speaking. "Sorry I'm late." I raise my gaze hoping she can see past the pain and tears lingering deep within my eyes.

I never imagined I would find myself a friend. Kirito told me to try to look at this all from a different angle instead of just focusing heavily on the arena, and it has helped because I have found a friend who will honestly last a lifetime. This is one of the most unlikely places to find a friend especially being enemies with everyone, but I'm glad I have her at my side. It makes all this a little bit easier, yet it potentially makes it worse. Knowing that I could easily have to fight her destroys me. Honestly, I would rather kill myself than have to throw a weapon at her - I would rather kill myself than kill anyone.

A small chuckle escapes my lips when she turns around startled, and a genuine smile creeps across my face. A warm feeling sweeps through me as she throws her arms around me. It feels strange standing here in the training center with her hugging me, but at the same time I feel at ease because I know she's beside me. I know she cares about me, and I pray she doesn't hurt me. For someone to accept me, limp and all, is amazing because nobody out of my family has ever done this. I've been ridiculed, laughed at, left as an outcast so many times in my entire life that to finally have a friend makes this bad situation a good one.

"Why wouldn't I be okay?" I ask with a shrug of my shoulders. If there's one thing I've learned from all of this, it's to stand up for myself and never let anyone put me down. Maybe it's because I'm fourteen and I'm a scrawny kid from district eleven. Maybe it's because I have a limp. Does she really worry about me that much?

"I'm okay Ceci. Really." I keep my eyes fixed on her's watching her movements. It's a shame that we had to meet like this. It's a shame that we both had our names drawn from the reaping. Ceci didn't deserve it. Carrita didn't deserve it - none of us did, but here we are trapped against our own will with the exception of those who volunteered. She tells me I can talk to her. But first I have to throw a knife. Lifting one from the table, I slowly aim at the dummy. "You may want to watch out. I don't have good aim." Gripping one of the knives, I stop myself just before throwing. "I feel like I'm being held to a higher standard because of my cousin, and it's starting to wear me down."

Shrugging my shoulders I release the knife, and just like I anticipated it flies out of my hand far too soon ending up somewhere behind me.

A grim smile crept across his face as the knife flew from his hand landing somewhere behind him. Iain wasn't a fighter, and he knew this was impossible to learn especially with the weight of the world collapsing against his shoulders. Nothing compared to the agony lingering inside him as a storm raged through his body tearing his soul in half. Living up to the Miristioma name was one of his main priorities; however, in the few short days he has been here, Iain has done nothing but ruin it. First opinions were hard to take back, and now all anyone at the Capitol would remember him for was the foolish boy who tried.

His eyes focused on Cecilia's as she started speaking. Ceci suggested they work on it together because neither of them had thrown a knife before. Shrugging his shoulders, Iain watched as she lifted another knife from the table. He watched as she gripped it tightly trying to figure out exactly what to do. Because right now nothing mattered except mastering something. Right now Iain was a sitting duck, and that was something he wanted to change.

"...Or we could have a tiny competition between us." Those word caught his attention drawing the fourteen year old in. A competition was fun especially when it was a friendly one, yet the reward awaiting at the end wasn't enough to ruin the friendship Iain shared with the district eight female. But before he could respond, the competition began shattering through his eyes as a glass dropped inside him. Broken pieces flew everywhere clenching his heart together as he stared at the knives in front of him as she placed her knife in the palm of his hand.

Sweat rolled from his brow plastering his shaggy hair against his face. Iain stood in front of the target staring at the marks trying to figure out what to do. "But Ceci." He said quietly before lifting the knife into the air holding it beside his head before tossing it. This time at least it went in the right direction, but it fell right in front of him; the blade almost drove through his foot. Sighing to himself, Iain leaned forward picking up the knife in front of him. "What if I make a fool of myself? I've done that enough already."

Yet before she had the chance to stop him, Iain threw the knife again. He watched in slow motion as the knife flew towards the dummy slicing gently across the stomach area. The corners of his lips twisted into a smile as he felt a joyous celebration raining inside him because this was only the beginning.

His breaths were rigid as he watched Ceci throw her first knife. Not once did his eyes leave the blade as it slid across the arm of the dummy. Fake blood oozed from the wound, and Iain knew Cecilia was better than him. But not even that would stop her from showing off. His heart raced inside his chest, thundering through his ears as his eyes glared at the knife in her hand. One could say that Iain was jealous of the girl standing in front of him tossing the knives like they were nothing until it completely missed the target.

A half smile spread across his lips, and a silent chuckle filled the air. It was almost like Ceci could tell what he was thinking before he could even say anything. "Don't say it..." Iain found himself in a fight to contain the laughter barreling inside him, but somehow he managed to keep a straight face clear of emotion as he watched his friend release one more knife. His eyes followed it through as it hit the chest breaking open more of the fake blood. A crimson stain covered the floor below the dummy, and Ceci was smiling. Iain knew he had to do better.

Hobbling over to the knives, he wrapped his fingers around it trying to figure out the best way to hold it. Not once in his entire life had he ever fought anything. Iain wasn't a killer, but here he was standing with his only friend as the slaughtered an innocent dummy. Removing the grin from his face, he slowly made his way over until he was standing directly in front of the dummy. Iain turned his gaze towards the girl as a single thought raced across his mind as the words fell from his lips before he could stop them. "Ok, Ceci, I think it's time you learn from a pro."

Throwing the first knife, Iain watched as it left his hand heading straight towards the dummy. Not only did he hit the dummy, but he landed on the chest shallowly opening another cut. He felt sick to his stomach as the fake blood fell towards the ground. It's not real. He told himself over and over; however, soon it would be real, and the dummy would become a human, and the thought of killing someone destroyed his mind. Iain wasn't capable of killing a fly.

His hand wrapped around another knife lifting it high into the air as he allowed the weight to rest easily on his hands. His eyes scanned the area, and he prayed that somewhere Kirito was watching as he kept trying over and over to become good at something, yet he doubt anyone would remember this moment except him and Ceci. Turning towards the dummy, he watched as it twisted around in front of him. Shattering his soul. One breath after another the faceless enemy laughed at him haunting him. Telling him he wasn't good enough. Shaking his head, he focused on the dummy before releasing another knife into the air. Iain watched as it flew in slow motion until it landed with a thud. For a moment, Iain thought he missed, but a sense of joy courses through his veins when he found out it landed just below the knee.

"Ceci! Look!" He exclaimed joyfully as he made his way towards the knives once more. A genuine smile twist across his face as he held his head high. Iain had finally hit something. Not even the fake blood pouring from the dummy could destroy the moment. His hands wrapped around another knife because Ceci had thrown three of her own. He focused on the dummy as the words continued to haunt him. You're not good enough, Iain. You're going to die, Iain. Shaking his head, Iain grit his teeth before releasing his third knife. This time when it stuck in the chest, he found himself jumping up and down despite the pain in his leg until he toppled over. "I did it, Ceci! I did it!"