lost in this haze {charade}

cass
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lost in this haze {charade} Mar 16, 2016 22:46:42 GMT -5

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Post by cass on Mar 16, 2016 22:46:42 GMT -5

OPAL

It was over. Once again she had failed. Opal Earnest buried her head in her hands, biting her lip as she squeezed her eyes shut tightly. Again. Another failure, two more children dead, the list was growing, a foggy memory in the back of her mind as she tried to gather the names she had forgotten. Too many. Too many names to remember now, too many children dead, children she had not saved. Again, she’d have to walk into District One and look at those families, again she’d have to stand by a grave and watch a mother and father sob, a sibling question why they weren’t coming home. Why did she fail so much? Why, no matter how hard she tried, did they still die? They had both been careers this time, was that not an even heavier blow, a branded title of her incompetency? She had no words for her inability to produce results, even when she had a head start over other victors.

Her chest ached, a pressure that was building, pushing on her lungs. It was always hard to breathe when that canon fired, when the last flame died. In all honesty she had not expected Scout to die, the girl had been so full of life, a fire that had oozed her want to be victorious. But it seemed that her snarky comments had fully come full circle, as painful to her own flesh as they were to others. These entire games had been a mess, from Scout aiding the sadistic District Twelve female in killing her district partner, to their twisted relationship and bloodlust to kill the District Eleven boy.

It took too much effort for her to drag herself to her feet, legs moving numbly as she slipped out of the room. Tired, she was so very tired, and that pressure was only increasing as she headed through the twisting halls towards the Eleventh floor. She knew, in these situations, who she wanted and needed to see, but each step was hesitant, also knowing and understanding how uneasy and uncomfortable it could possibly be. These games had turned her tributes against District Eleven, and Opal had been unable to do anything to stop it, hoping that Scout wouldn’t be the one to end her friend’s tribute, but simultaneously pleading with Ripred that Scout would not die.

She no longer cried, she’d cried herself out years ago, she did not believe she would ever feel pain again like she had. That pain was worse than losing her leg, then crawling on the ground, hand detached, deep wounds filling with sand and mud. She had no tears left to give, and she felt no rage, just a gaping hole of emptiness, of failure, of dread. Of knowing what was to come and being unable to bare it. She didn’t want to go home to it, she didn’t want to see the other victors.

Her feet halted in front of the heavy door engraved with District Eleven. Her knuckles smacked the wood gently, hesitantly, uneasy and uncertain if this was what they really wanted. She didn’t know.

charade
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lost in this haze {charade} Mar 17, 2016 7:10:05 GMT -5

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Post by charade on Mar 17, 2016 7:10:05 GMT -5

KATELYN PERSIMMON

They wanted to kill him.

It didn’t take six days to see that, though it became more glaring as the games went on. His last name and district of origin painted double bullseyes on his chest and back. Ten tributes left. Two of which were careers. One of which was insane. One that Mace was looking out for. Neither of Opal’s. Nine that represented threats to Kirito’s continued mental health and Iain’s life. Katelyn sighed and turned the volume down on the screen, rising from the couch and pacing the room with her hands clasped behind her back. Nothing was ever easy. Just like with Harbinger, after the first few days, finding sponsorship for Iain was like a drowning man clutching for a broken reed, but somehow they had scraped together enough to get him some tar. Hopefully it would make a difference. No fighting had broken out just yet, but, peace didn't last long in the arena.

Whether the whole of Panem was against another district eleven victor, or the Capitol was blocking any help sent in was up for debate, but all Katelyn knew for certain was that Iain was probably feeling abandoned like Harbinger had. All good things had to come to an end. But she wanted – needed, things to go right for just one more year. For Iain’s sake. For Kirito’s sake. One more miracle. It felt like she hadn’t seen much of Kirito or Harbinger, but she supposed that was to be expected. There was so much that the Capitol wanted them to do that it appeared almost as if they were conspiring to keep them apart. Divide and conquer. The three district eleven victors were more of a threat when they were together.

Even though they didn’t always get along, what they represented was what the Capitol was afraid of. Strength. Courage. Survival. Attributes that tributes from the lowest districts weren’t supposed to have. She chuckled bitterly to herself, wondering how Panem’s political leaders would fare in the arena. If any of them would have what it took to survive. The fire in her had cooled over the last few days, though the embers still smoldered whenever she saw Celia on the screen.

The girl from twelve was like Chaske. Like Someith. Like Iago. She was a monster, fit for putting on a show, but not fit to put back in the general populace. If she got up to any of that nonsense in district twelve, she would have been tossed in the detention center. But then again, only criminals went to prison. Rabid dogs got put down. And what she had done to the bodies certainly put her in the second category. Katelyn knew that bad things happened to good people in the arena. That sometimes, a good person had to do something horrible to survive. So she didn’t fault Daria Staite for taking Harbinger’s leg; or Kirito for killing Orion. Hell, she didn’t fault the tributes for trying to kill Iain. It made sense strategically.

No, tributes did what they had to. But what Celia had done Carrita as she lay dying had been sadistic, unnecessary and evil. It couldn’t be justified for survival. Katelyn just couldn’t wrap her head around it. She supposed she should be relieved that district seven had been eliminated; that it wouldn’t come down to the two districts again. But in her worry about the district that eleven had become something of a grim reaper for, she hadn’t thought too much about the other ten districts and how they had suffered without a victor for years. Seven was gone but now it seemed like the whole of Panem was gunning for Iain. Katelyn stopped pacing and stared out the window. One more miracle. For Kirito. For all of them. That was all she needed.

A faint tapping at the door turned her head, and she stared at it intently for a moment before walking towards it. Kirito and Harbinger both had keys to the room, and she hadn’t seen Mace in a while either. It was doubtful that most of the other victors would come to call except maybe Arbor or - “Opal.” She breathed. “Hey.” She could read the misery in her friend’s face; there was no need to ask the reason. District one had been eliminated from the games for the eighth year in a row, and had done worse than the year before when Septys had made it to the finale. “Come in.” she said sympathetically, with a gesture towards the couch. “Would you like something to eat? Chicken salad sandwich? Slice of pie? Coffee?” She took a seat opposite the other woman and studied her face.

There were lines of worry there. The exhaustion that most victors wore at one time or another. The Capitol was a world of dead men walking, but dammit, her boys were alive. That had to count for something. “I’m…sorry about them, Opal.” Katelyn said while shaking her head. “How are you holding up?”

"And I don't wanna live like this again
I thought you said it would be so simple"

table coding (c) ghosty

Last Edit: Mar 20, 2016 23:26:11 GMT -5 by charade

16 Jul 12, 23:43
GB: I bet you just sit at your computer with a tea cup and a monocle

cass
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lost in this haze {charade} Mar 20, 2016 23:49:30 GMT -5

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Post by cass on Mar 20, 2016 23:49:30 GMT -5

OPAL

Eight years now. It was harder in a different kind of way, though. It was different from the year Argo died, like a part of her soul had gone missing as well. It was so very different from the 67th, where she had rooted for District Eleven, where she hadn't down a single thing to help her own tributes. It was a different kind of pain, to those years where she'd not even spoken a word to them, too scared, too frail. That was the kind of pain that lingered in you as guilt, and gnawed at your heart and mind. But as the years went by it almost seemed to lessen, because there was only so many times you could be sentenced to the deepest darkest pits of hell. When she had realised that, her suffering had lessened, if only by a fraction. When you were already damned what was there to fight for? Was there a rope there, enticing her to climb, to build herself enough momentum to reach freedom? No, that had long since been cut.

The door opened and before she knew it, and she was facing Katelyn.

Katelyn Persimmon. The reason why she had once more begun to fight for her freedom. To tug at the chains that anchored her to the pits of hell. To believe that the rope wasn't entirely out of reach, if only she just fought. Katelyn had her once more believing in everything she had abandoned, and perhaps the younger girls notions came from her lack of experience, but it was still pure and bright and worth it. And perhaps Katelyn would fall, feeling the despair and loss that every victor did when they couldn't succeed. And if that was the case Opal would do for her as she had done. Opal was strong, she knew it, bloody hell she knew it, and she'd give whatever amount anyone needed to stand up again.

Her hands dropped limply to her side, and as the younger victor ushered her into the room, she shook her head, unable to get her mouth to work. She wasn't here for food, she was here for the company that she knew Katelyn could provide. There was something incredibly special about this girl, a strength within her that Opal admired so much. She was the kind of person that could inspire people to do the right thing, lead them to greatness. Opal was so glad that she had found a friend in someone as loyal and trustworthy as Katelyn.

Strength, it seemed, to Opal, wasn't the ability to stand tall in a storm, but rather the ability to find it within yourself to stand up again every time you're knocked down.

“I’m…sorry about them, Opal.” Katelyn shook her head, and Opal nodded, sitting on the chair offered. “How are you holding up?” She'd live, she always did. She was almost like a cockroach in that aspect of her life. It seemed that she'd always rise once more, she was terribly hard to kill.

"I'll be okay." She responded, glancing downwards. The hardest part, as always, would be getting through those first few months once she was home. She could always get food delivered to her house, instead of going into public. She just didn't want to look into their eyes. It was always the hardest part. "I'm a lot stronger than I've always thought I was." She grinned, a spark flaring in her eyes. Talking with Katelyn always eased her mind, eased her heart. "What about you?" She asked. "I am so sorry about Carrita." No one deserved what Celia Mortuus had done to her. Opal had to stop herself from cringing, thinking back to that moment, mind flashing to Quadrys, where Scout and Celia burned him alive. It was fucked up.

charade
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lost in this haze {charade} Mar 21, 2016 0:42:01 GMT -5

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Post by charade on Mar 21, 2016 0:42:01 GMT -5

KATELYN PERSIMMON

It was good to hear that Opal was staying resilient, but she couldn’t help but grimace when Carrita was brought up. “Yeah.” She said grimly. “Me too.” Not wanting to get lost in the imagery of the sacrilege that day one had ended with, she turned her attention back to the screen and turned the volume back up. She’d apparently missed the girl from ten dying by a few minutes, and said a silent prayer for Mace’s wellbeing as Noelia’s picture faded from view. But the next camera angle made her stomach flip when it focused on Iain and the tributes that had come across him.

Two on one; not the best situation, but doable. The girl from three looked like she might be suffering from some internal bleeding, and Ezero had nearly died the previous day; he still looked pretty banged up. All Iain needed to do was get a few good hits in on one of them, dodge a few attacks. A tall order considering his limp but Harbinger had made it home with one leg, Iain could be alright. But as the fight wore on, she could see that he was anything but. Katelyn’s heart hammered in her chest. Onetwothree. Onetwothree. Like nails being pounded into a coffin. It was always threes, why was it always threes?

And then it happened.

Another nasty burn on his weakened body.

Iain teetered, and down he went.

A cannon fired and Katelyn’s heart skipped a beat.

She sat there shaking, staring at the screen in disbelief, unable to speak, hands clenching and unclenching because Iain was supposed to come home but they were never going to let him where’s Kirito I need him to be okay Harbinger’s visiting an old arena doesn’t know district eleven is probably shocked as a whole where is Kirito his mother is weeping Kirito’s family is weeping two coffins this year where is Kirito right now there is no fourth victor the streak stops here this was a lesson arbor was right goddammit where is Kirito Opal’s staring at me there’s two coffins this year parade someone else around the district what if it’s his killer no celebration only funerals is this what it’s like to be the other victors I was supposed to protect him I promised there’s a letter sitting on my nightstand that I never wanted to deliver I promised I’d take care of Kirito he came back and he was the first and I promised I…I…

failed.

The weight of the world crushed Katelyn’s chest and she struggled to breathe, hyperventilating as the tears freely flowed down her face. She clasped both her hands to her mouth and choked on a sob before another one tore itself free of her throat and escaped as a cry of anguish. She had known Eleven’s good fortune couldn’t last forever, but why now? Why Iain? Katelyn buried her face in her hands, elbows and knees akimbo and she tried to keep herself together. “Opal?” She muttered dimly, remembering that her friend was sitting only a few feet away. “I-I…” she gasped as she turned towards the other victor.

The sobbing began in earnest, all her words washed away by the flood.

"I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much"

table coding (c) ghosty

16 Jul 12, 23:43
GB: I bet you just sit at your computer with a tea cup and a monocle

cass
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lost in this haze {charade} Mar 21, 2016 1:11:16 GMT -5

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Post by cass on Mar 21, 2016 1:11:16 GMT -5

OPAL

Opal wasn't sure what was happening in the arena at the moment. She'd not looked at the screen since Scout had fallen, Celia's knife burying itself into her chest, in a final plea. She'd shut it off, but now, Katelyn turned towards hers, and Opal followed, stomach taught, knowing that any moment coul spell the end for Katelyn's remaining tribute.

Her mouth tightened, a canon quickly firing, as the district ten tribute fell.

Failure.

Mace had failed. She'd have to go and see him, after this, she'd have to. Picking yourself up and putting the pieces back into place was all part of it, and she'd go and help Mace. Although she doubted she'd be of more assistance then Saffron, but still he was her friend. The screen quickly flickered, moving as soon as a tribute had died, the heat of the battle leaving. As ever the Capitol wanted to focus on the bloodlust, and today was horrifying. Celia's alliance had been pitted against the powerhouse alliance, four against three. She was thankful, so very thankful that she had never been set up with this odds.

Iain's bloodied figure spilt onto the screen, and Opal couldn't help, but gasp, two tributes hacking at him, swing after swing, as he weakly tried to defend himself. Fate was so cruel. Her stomach tightened, and her gaze flickered to Katelyn, dark eyes widening, as she took it in. Her face was so pale, eyes staring, glued to the carnage before her as she watched the tributes hack and hack and hack. It was a savage fight, had the boy from district Eleven been a career she'd have pitted the odds for him, but he wasn't. He wasn't Scout or Quadrys or Septys. Maybe, maybe he had a chance, the other two weren't car-

Boom.

Opal tore her gaze from Katelyn's wide-eyed, tormented one, in time to watch his body smack against the ground. In time to watch as Iain died. Her heart echoed, boom, boom, boom, beating against her chest, as silence fell in the room. It was there that she heard the sound that made her own heart shatter, and she tore her gaze from the television. Katelyn was crying, sobbing as she let out an anguished cry. Opal couldn't bring herself to move, she felt so heavy, and she stared in disbelief, unable to comprehend that it was over, that not only had Mace failed this day, but Katelyn had too. For the first time in three years.

It hurt, it was an ache that spread over her chest like fire, as she watched her friend cry, as she watched that pain she knew too well take her. She wanted to say that it was okay, that it'd get better. But she couldn't, she couldn't bring herself to speak of the future, because she knew, that in that time she'd not wanted to know that this pain would fade. It was torture that took over you, and you were in it then and there and no amount of talking could make you believe that it could end. Opal hadn't ever wanted to hear that it would be okay, because then and there it wasn't, your world was broken, it was all over. But, she didn't know what to do, what to say, as her friend muttered her numb, as the tears fell freely from her eyes.

She didn't know how to make this better. "Katelyn..." She mumbled, uncertain.

On shaky legs she got up, and walked over to Katelyn, before sinking to her knees and wrapping her arms around her.

I don't know what to do.

charade
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lost in this haze {charade} Mar 29, 2016 4:16:48 GMT -5

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Post by charade on Mar 29, 2016 4:16:48 GMT -5

KATELYN PERSIMMON

A cold wind breeze blowing as she huddled with Lexi and Marc in the castle. The air tasted of snowflakes and sweat, mixing with the coppery tang of blood that hung around their wounds. She could smell the alcohol on Marc’s breath; a gift from a sponsor. The wind howled outside the walls but even though they were protected from the elements, the chill in her bones refused to leave and she wondered if she’d ever be warm again. That same chill seized her as she sat clinging to Opal for minutes upon minutes like she was a piece of driftwood keeping her afloat in a storm tossed sea.

This could break him. She thought wordlessly, remembering the dangerous look in Kirito’s face midway through his quell. If he went back to that…No. She needed to find Harbinger. Maybe he couldn’t stand the sight of her but he had to feel something for Kirito’s loss. It was the kind of loss he had suffered only a few short years ago. Katelyn buried her face in Opal’s shoulder and tried to collect her thoughts, trying and failing to ignore the ache in her chest. “O-opal, this…d-damn. Damn, damn, damn it all.” She blubbered, the gears in her head spinning and showing eight different faces giving a speech in front of a disbelieving crowd back home. The rules had changed.

“We have to try harder”. She whispered, talking more to herself instead of Opal. To give up now would be an insult to their memory. Katelyn choked back a sob, making an effort to compose herself and summoned what strength she had left, digging deep. She’d hold her head high. She knew the truth that Arbor had tried to tell her. She knew who had killed Iain and Carrita. It wasn’t Ezero. It wasn’t Celia. It was Snow. The price paid for eleven daring to do as well as it had. This was supposed to make them back down. To make them like the district twelve victors. Ineffective. Uncaring. Beaten down.

To make them fade away from memory. But she wouldn’t let that happen. Couldn’t. They’d been through too much to just lose themselves. The three of them had all survived the arena. They could make it past this. Katelyn sniffed. She had to be strong. Iain…iain was gone now. But Kirito was still alive. So was Harbinger. Her eyes were drawn to the doorway of her bedroom and the letter that lay accusingly on the nightstand. There was work to be done. Her arms snaked up, embracing Opal in a tight bear hug.

She adored the district one victor, never having thought she’d be friends with a career. But Opal was different. She knew love and loss, didn’t pander to the cameras or groom her tributes to be heartless. Opal was one of a kind; and if her presence hadn’t been around, things might have gotten a bit more destructive. Katelyn wiped at her eyes and slowly broke the hug.

“I need to find him.” She said quietly. “I need to find Kirito before he does something crazy.”

"I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much"

table coding (c) ghosty

16 Jul 12, 23:43
GB: I bet you just sit at your computer with a tea cup and a monocle