Reaching {New heights} [Onyx]
Mar 20, 2016 15:15:53 GMT -5
Post by kousei ♚ on Mar 20, 2016 15:15:53 GMT -5
REE FER
{I have never reached such heights
Could heaven ever be like this?}
"He's so good!"
I remember those words loud and clear from last night. I let out a loud raspy groan onto this leathery piece of material. My head is pounding harder than a drum and boy it fucking kills. I inhale and suddenly cough, the stench of liquor strong in the air and it makes me gag and retch. The realisation is a heavy slap in the face. This isn't angel dust. It's booze and liquor, maybe diluted whiskey judging by the smell. I groan once again, still staring into the black induced by being face down on this leathery feeling material. I didn't get my hit yesterday, I went out and got smashed but not high; big difference.
I raise my head and a wave of bitter disappointment runs through me, I'm running out of time. I have to get my next hit or I'll get... I'll get those... I'll get the tremors, I'll start vomiting everywhere, and I'll feel like death itself. I need my next hit, I haven't gotten one in about four or five days? It's a deadly timer, I need to keep the cycle going, I need to get more money so I can get more drugs in turn - more drugs means no more getting ill and I can go back to being invincible.
When I look up my vision is hazed and blurred. Fucking idiot Ree Fer. I spent a whole bunch of my hard earned money on booze and not the good stuff. I settled for second best when I should've gone for the top, the proper hit that makes me truly invincible. Why would I do that? What the hell happened last night? I stop myself because I've long learned that there's no point in wondering what I did last night. Fragments and shards of my broken memory comes in bits and pieces, piercing my brain and giving me small bits and pieces but it's never enough - it's never the full picture.
Is it even morning?
I sling myself up and my feet touch the cold wooden floor and I quickly glance at the clock and a dry chuckle escapes my throat. The hour hand proudly points at the big one. One AM, I can definitely work with that. Why would I even go home this early? Did I get thrown out? No, it can't be, that simply wouldn't make any sense. "He's so good."Someone was admiring me at the table, unless I was doing so well they thought I was cheating so threw me out but even that's unlikely.
Oh well, no point in dwelling on it now.
I step away from the strong scent of booze that's now hanging in area and step towards a mirror and a tap. I'm taken aback by what I see, I look completely fine. My auburn brown hair is a bit tangled and curlier than usual and I'm paler than I would expect but all in all I look completely normal. There's no bruises, no cuts or scrapes and certainly nothing to indicate I was roughed up any anyway. "He's so good!" I certainly am, but I'm gonna be batter by the time the sun decides to show its face again and that's for sure.
An excited grin begins to form on my face, revealing my half-yellow, half-white teeth. Excitement begins to build up in my chest and my heart begins pounding harder than my head because I'm going to get that feeling tonight. Tonight I become invincible and transcend the gods; tonight I get my next hit. I grab a glass of water, put it under tap as I open it and begin to gulp it down just so that I can relax my pounding headache. Never again will I waste money on booze.
I leave the glass out and stride over to the table with a thin wad of money resting on it. What remains of my winnings after I wasted a good amount of it. I swear to ripred if one of my siblings has taken any of it I will physically beat them down to a pulp. Well, I wouldn't know anyway. Perhaps it's better that way. A wave of relief hits me because I still have enough. Just enough for at least a gram, maybe one and a half of the dealer's generous. But they never are.
I don't even bother to throw on a coat, I just rush out of the door; eager to transcend whatever higher being is up there with my invisibility.
Second become minutes, minutes become hours and everything: the streets, the light, the people, it's all a hazy blur as I search desperately for that next hit.
"He's so good!"
If I'm so good then how did I manage to get myself lost? The moon's white glare is off-putting as I trudge through the empty streets. I checked alleyways, bins and dumpsters but I'm met with disappointment because there's streets are empty. My once glazed over, unfocused eyes are hungrily searching for my next hit but I can't see a damn thing. "For fuck sake!" I growl, my hands stuck in my pockets to shield themselves from the biting cold. I've been prowling around in the cold for what feels like an hour but still nothing.
The cold breeze bits my exposed skin but I ignore it because I have other things to worry about. If I become invincible then this cold will mean nothing.
I keep walking in looping in what feels like endless circles before I finally find what looks like an abandoned building. Dealers sometimes hang out in empty buildings. A toothy grin forms on my face as I pick up my pace and dash towards the building. In seconds I've swung open the door to find...
Nothing.
"FUCK SAKE!" I curse, shaking my fist at my misfortune. My voice echoes through the buildings and I find myself bitterly chuckling. So that's what shattered dreams sound like. I'm gonna run out of time. I can't afford to be wasting time. I'm gonna feel it, the symptoms, I'm gonna get ill, I'm gonna get ill, please I need that hit... My brain is slowly working itself into a frenzy because I need that next hit even if it kills me. Perhaps it's broken hope and my fear of shattered dreams that stop me from slamming the door closed and to continue poking around the building for nearly half an hour.
I keep opening and closing endless amounts of doors, poking around and peeking to find someone, anyone who can give me something even though I know it's probably hopeless. I have money though... I'm still peering and feeling around when I suddenly feel my hand brush up against something wooden; but the walls are made from brick.
My movement is automatic, my head snaps behind me and of course I see a dull door knob sticking out from the door. Like a hungry dog I lunge for the handle pull it open and I'm half expecting to find a dark, empty dead end meet me but instead I see stairs. I raise my eyebrow in confusion. "Anyone there?!" I call out, silently begging for an answer but my own echo is what meets me instead.
I refuse to give up, I'm determined and I'll get that last hit even if it kills me.
Never been curious, never actually cared enough to be curious if I'm completely honest but this isn't a simple want to know. This is a need to get. I trudge down the stairs, not even bothering to close the door behind me, and I keep going down and down and down. One, two, three, four, five... Each and every stair counted and stored in the back of my brain.
It's stair one hundred and sixty when I start to hear the faint hum of some kind of music. It's a beat.
Stair one hundred and seventy is when I can hear humans conversing and screaming.
Stair one hundred and seventy eight is when I'm blinded by the collage, mixture of colours blaring through around the corner.
Stair one hundred and eighty three and I've stumbled upon the unthinkable.
The place is raucous and over packed with people. Lights flash and travel the room and right past my eyes. Confusion is heavy and concentrated in my brain and it manifests itself in three simple words. "What the fuck?"
Is this some sort of club? It can't be, the peacekeepers would never-
Wait why the fuck do I care and why am I complaining?
There's people here, likely doing illegal stuff which means...
A quick step, a quick tap and I find myself next to the first person I see walking past - some girl who I've never seen and I don't even stop to assess or ask her name. The simple age old question that I've been asking since I was at least fifteen years old and counting. As I ask it I'm as weightless as air and everything; the music, the people, the pounding, it's all silenced in my mind. For confidence my brain repeats he's so good! about half a million times. My voice is casual, effectively masking the desperation I feel at this very moment for that next hit.
"Can you supply me?"