Learning to love again {Kaplan...}

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They'll either want to kill you, kiss you, or be you.

Learning to love again {Kaplan...} Aug 14, 2016 21:03:23 GMT -5

Post by * on Aug 14, 2016 21:03:23 GMT -5

Jacob Alexander Brontz

My fingers pluck gently against the strings of the violin in my hand, listening to the soft chord as it strums out and vibrates the rest of the instrument in my hands. The soft, freshly sanded wood feels like heaven underneath my finger tips. I brush away the dust that has settled on it since the last time I managed to bring it out into the sunshine and show it off to the ongoing world around me. A month has passed since we laid my sisters hollow body to rest. Despite the ground being still brown there is hints of green poking out of the top finally. It's a sign that life goes on no matter what happens to our family. The days will carry on and the weight of the loss for us is forever strong. My mom, bless her, she has fallen so deep into sorrow for my big sister that she rarely moves from the bed and if she does it's because Lotus has cried for far too long or when she absolutely has to pretend to be a mother.

I wish Cecilia didn't die.

I hope that my mom will return to us from behind the shadows that pull her away from those that are still breathing.

It just can't happen that way so I've taken the duties of my sister and then the duties of my mother. The little ones look up to me for answers now in place of Cecilia, but today, I've broken free from their clutches and sit here not far from Cecilia's resting place. My eyes linger on the patch of brown and the small stone above her. "Together forever, just on different plains" is written upon the stone. I added that.

With a pleasant grin toward her I draw the bow up and lay it gently against the strings and inhale a sweet breath before I cautiously pull the bow. A sweet sound of longing echoes outward. The vibrations of the wood send prickles of sensations against my palm and I am lost in the sound of various melodies playing in my head.

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Learning to love again {Kaplan...} Aug 15, 2016 12:14:23 GMT -5

Post by kap on Aug 15, 2016 12:14:23 GMT -5

ZAGREUS MOON

The light pierced through my eyelids to wake me up that morning. Slamming my pillow over my face, I attempted to block out the light, eventually giving up when it wouldn't work. Reluctantly, I got out of bed, got dressed, and headed to the kitchen to get myself something to eat for breakfast. Grabbing an apple, I decided that was all I wanted to eat, and went over to the front door so that I could go out for the day. When I was about to leave, however, I heard my father's voice, causing me to turn around quickly to face in his direction.

"Going somewhere, Zagreus?" questioned my father in his usual deep, raspy voice. He had raised his eyebrow at me in his act of questioning, and I made sure not to look weak, even if I was compared to him. In all honesty, the man terrified me. Of course, I could never let him know that. I was supposed to be tough. I wasn't supposed to allow anyone to see a weak side of me.

"Yes, I am." I told him. He let out a slight chuckle when I replied to him, and then spoke again.

"Of course you are." he replied, "You're also going to be doing some work for me today. You will be doing exactly what we discussed last night, and I expect no less." he said.

Had I not needed to hide my emotions, I likely would have cowered in fear at what the cruel man was having me do for him. Instead, I needed to act tough, and I needed to do exactly what he wanted me to do.

The previous night, the old man had pulled me aside to talk to me. My mother had been sick and unable to work for the past few months, meaning that we were running low on money. My father couldn't make all the money for the three of us on his own. Therefore, I was to steal for him. Yes, he wanted me to go and steal something from someone and bring it back to him so he could get some money off of it.

Okay, so I've always been a trouble maker, but I've never actually thought of taking someone else's property. It just seemed wrong to me. I couldn't turn down what my father had ordered me to do, though, or I knew a beating would be in order. Therefore, I was to go out that day and bring him back something of value.

"Yes, sir." I said to him, being as respectful sounding as I could when I did so. I then turned back towards the door, opened it, left, and latched it behind me again.

Walking for a while, I decided to try to scope someone out. Unfortunately, not many people in the district had a lot of money. Before my mother got sick, we were extremely wealthy compared to most. Now, though, that was not going to be the case until she could get back up on her feet to work again.

As I was walking, I heard the sound of music. It was odd to hear that around the District, as not many people owned instruments. I decided that that meant I may find a good target if I could find the source of the instrument. I hated to think that way, but today, I had to, or surely I would be in plenty of pain when I returned home.

When I eventually found the music's source, I saw that it was a boy playing a violin. I approached him, knowing that I would have to seem friendly initially if I were to get anything out of him. My parents, on the other hand, wouldn't want me to be that way. They'd want me to be sneaky, and just approach him when he's not paying attention to take something. I had my own tactics, though. I didn't want to completely deceive the boy, but I needed to figure out what I was going to do about getting something for my father.

"I wish I could play an instrument." I told the boy. I figured that that was the best way to start conversation. Hopefully, it would all work out. Then again, when did things ever work out for me?

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Learning to love again {Kaplan...} Aug 15, 2016 17:00:25 GMT -5

Post by * on Aug 15, 2016 17:00:25 GMT -5

Jacob Alexander Brontz

My eyes were closed. The flowing sound of the stringed instrument lofted around my person, carrying me off into a land far away and without another person to disrupt this meeting with my inner self. That place, the brightest white I could ever imagine is suddenly brought to life with a hint of a hazelnut brown and very pale skin. A white gown flowing against the ground as if the creature coming toward me was hovering without a single step and the closer that this image came, the more familiar it became until I saw her face. A smile, with soft baby pink lips, and a very pale complexion of my sister became all too visible. That grin, very soft yet comforting welcomed me into her world; my mind.

And she comes closer to me and I extend a hand to her, and take her tiny hand in mine. How gaunt her body is compared to mine, but she was always that way. I pull her away, guiding her gently to the scene that began to open up in front of me. Color started to bleed through the white exterior as though drops of color added to water; swirling. A river bank emerges and rocks are below my naked feet. No pain upon standing on the rocks, but my heart surges with hurt for the one that I miss so terribly.

"Are you okay?" I ask her, my eyes seeking to see her eyes, but she never looks at me. I tug on her fingers and she squeezes my hand and still no sound comes out. "Sqeeze two for yes. Once for no. Are you okay?"

A gentle squeeze comes times two as she never passes her gaze upon my features.

"Are you in pain?"

Silence and no movement comes but then one long squeeze comes and she drops my hand. The thought that pain would be something she would feel is relieved. She is no longer hurting and the charred body that was painted over is nothing but a hollow shell of what she was. It's good to think that she will not have to endure the torture that the rest of her living family will go through. She is at peace, or so I hope.

"Cecilia. Do you hate me for not protecting you?" The words come out with an honest question. A splash of red suddenly comes bleeding through as the waking dream disappates as a males voice interceeds this spiritual dream. My fingers suddenly lost in direction as the music stops so abruptly and I'm brought back to his harsh reality. I stare at the man for a few moments before I speak, and the violin is lowered to rest on my leg.

"... can I help you?" I question him, almost fuming inside for stopping me from seeing the one person that I had been so close to. He kept me from receiving the one answer I wanted to know. The only thing that I even care about. Surely, this guy has nothing good to share and probably shares the same view as my father; music is a waste of time.

Last Edit: Aug 15, 2016 17:10:41 GMT -5 by *

kap
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Learning to love again {Kaplan...} Aug 16, 2016 9:56:14 GMT -5

Post by kap on Aug 16, 2016 9:56:14 GMT -5

ZAGREUS MOON

I clenched my fist tightly at the boy's response. Can he help me? Excuse me, but I wasn't there to be 'helped' with anything. At that point, I considered just helping myself, and snatching up something of his before running off. Instead, however, I decided not to. I made the decision to just ignore his comment, and go as if we were having a somewhat pleasant conversation without his obnoxious words. What was his problem, anyway, that would have made him so mad about me interrupting him?

"Sorry for interrupting. I didn't mean to frustrate you. I was just trying to make conversation. I had said that I wished I could play an instrument. You do an excellent job." I said as an attempt to possibly flatter him and lighten the mood. I hated when people tried to be rude or obnoxious toward me. Normally, I was the one doing that.

I wasn't sure why these next thoughts popped into my head, but for whatever reason, they did. I began to wonder what the boy would do if I were to just give him as much sass as he had given to me. What would he do if someone told him that they were interrupting him because he had to go deal with my parents for me? I wasn't going to say any of this to the boy, of course. It was true, however, that I wished someone else would indeed go deal with my parents for me. They were violent, abusive people. I hated to be around them, and the only reason I had even approached the boy that day was because my father had ordered me to fetch him something valuable.

At that point, I began to wonder if the boy would even be worth my time. It appeared that his instrument may be the only valuable thing he had on him, and there was definitely no way I could take that without being noticed. Perhaps he wasn't worth it, I began to think. I figured that maybe I should just walk away. Although, I didn't. I wasn't sure why, but I stayed right there.

A waste of time, I thought to myself, It won't be worth staying here. I should just leave. No, I couldn't listen to my thoughts, as I needed to carry out what my father said, or deal with the beatings at home that made me feel oh so weak. I didn't want the feeling of being pathetic and useless that I felt every night when I returned home and was beaten until I couldn't move any longer. I hated to use others just to get out of that situation, but for some reason, I felt I had to. I had been dealing with these beatings for years, and didn't want to deal with them any longer, even though I knew they'd come if I so much as said one wrong word.

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