depths of a broken mind {Odysseus one-shot}

Broken bodies crashed against the floor of his dreams as blood dripped from the ceilings. Orion was dead, and it was all he knew since his untimely departure from the civilian life into the mix of the unknown. Tossed into a tiny cell where nothing made sense except daylight turned into darkness, and nighttime turned into nightmares. Screams still echoed through his fragile mind with each and every step he took away from the broken world into the reality he once knew, yet he wasn't accepted. Odysseus was a criminal trapped in an undying world of cowards afraid to cross the line. Locked inside the depths of his own broken mind without anyone to save him. Everywhere he turned a single glimpse of hope flashed before his yes, yet the chains drew tighter with the passing moments - Orion had volunteered. He threw himself into harms way just a year after the death of Mason.

Now both were dead.

That was all he knew.

A shattered heart pounded fiercely against his ribs trying to break free of the chains holding him back. Every step drew another reality while his breaths stuck in the back of his throat. Once large muscles became nothing more than a flab of skin stowed away under the baggy gray shirt. His dark eyes darted around - it had been so long since he marched through district two without any worry in the world, and now they were watching with a close eye begging him to step across the line once more. People moved about chatting amongst themselves leaving the lone eighteen year old locked away in a corner from the rest of the world. But Odysseus didn't mind. The less people staring at him the better.

Loneliness didn't exist in a world with the all mighty big brother watching every single movement. Odysseus was never alone - none of the citizens in Panem were alone. President Snow saw all, and assaulting the peacekeeper all those years ago ruined every single potential career goal he was living for. Becoming a peacekeeper was impossible. Turning his life around after a stupid mistake was a lifetime goal, yet nothing mattered. But he had to find something to do. Something to turn his life around to prove that he was more than a criminal trapped in the midst of district two.

The cemetery gates loomed over head, and Odysseus found himself staring at the stones. Grass and weeds had grown over many. A gentle breeze caused leaves to scurry against the ground. One would think that people would take care of something as gentle and sacred as a cemetery because it was a final resting place for those who fell victim to untimely death. Tears pooled in his eyes blurring his vision as he forced himself to walk around. One step after another, dried grass crunched beneath the weight of his fragile body. Every breath caught in the back of his throat as a huge lump swelled inside. All hairs stood on end. Sweat saturated the palm of his hands. A drummer frantically pound against the inside of his chest.

Odysseus exhaled -

And his eyes met the stone he was looking for. Orion Hammerfell was lying beneath his feet, and Odysseus found himself crashing against the ground as tears rolled down the side of his face. He wasn't there when he returned from the games in the casket prepped for burial, and he didn't want to believe the video the peacekeeper showed him during one of his many interrogations. He wanted it to be a lie, but this stone, the name etched deep within the smooth surface, only brings out an unwanted reality.

Silent sobs erupt past his lips as his forehead touches the ground. His words were inaudible, yet he tried to make himself speak. And finally after a breath, he pulled himself together bringing his knees up towards his chest. "I fucked up man. Big time." He paused for a moment allowing himself a chance to survey his surroundings. "I'm sorry for disgracing your name. And I hope that one day you can forgive me." His words trailed off as his gaze shifted towards the sky. Wherever you are, I need you, my brother.

I need you.