suffocated by the swarm } charade
Sept 8, 2016 5:04:05 GMT -5
Post by Onyx on Sept 8, 2016 5:04:05 GMT -5
URBANE
MAGPIE
I stand in front of the sink, and watch the sediment-saturated water fall one drip at a time into the putrid basin below. On the window-sill, the dry skeletons of ex-plants stand stiffly, as if yet with some hope of redemption, resurrection. The smell of mildew is thick, damp and stifling. Although the night is dark, it is far from peaceful. The world is sick, and everything is dying.
How many magpies roost at home tonight? My bed has been without company for so long I can no longer even count my husband among the brood, and the rest have one by one flown the coop after my cuckoo child's broken body was brought back from the Capitol in an industrially-stamped crate. It feels like a hundred years have passed since then, yet at the same time it feels like only yesterday.
It's hard to claim that I ever loved even one of my strange flock, not truly. I thought that being a mother would endear me to those around me, but all it ever did was ostracise me further. As more spilled out of our imaginations and into existence, I had no choice but to retreat back into myself, spreading my wings only far enough as to shelter thosesevensix odd creatures from a world which would only ever accept a selection of them for a selection of their features. The pain of each of their quirks, for most far too difficult to love, became a pain within myself; a splinter driven up my spine, a barbed wire closing around my throat, a thousand needles forced urgently into every soft piece of flesh or soul I still left exposed.
So is it really a sin that being so alone now brings me such relief?
There is at least one I can expect to return home tonight. The new moon has passed, and through the old warped window at the front of the house I can see the early grin of the moon, sharp as a bite, leering at me from behind a gossamer of clouds. I never wish to know what draws my eldest daughter into every month's darkest night, but that doesn't stop me coveting the freedom and anonymity she takes for granted. Justice lacks fear, lacks the consideration of the consequences of her actions. The latter is a trait I now emulate, in a way; although I take the time to realise what I might cause, I could never let such a thought stop me committing what I want to commit. And now that I have finally drawn up the determination to rebuke her, I will demonstrate that standing when my daughter returns home.
At the sound of her footsteps, or rather, the sound of the house groaning its welcome to her meagre weight and the porch floorboards greeting her bare feet with song, I retreat from the sink and into the shadows of the kitchen. Let me become the shadows, to greet her from within the arms of the darkness, that friend she spends her time cohorting with. Then, from that darkness, let me emerge with retribution towards her.
Why? Why, when I prefer the unsilence of the house, a domain I can command in the bliss of solitude, would I punish her for giving it graciously to me? The answer is simply that. Justice has taken control out of my hands and handed it back to me like a prize. Now is my time to seize it back.