Post by thompson harvard - d2b - arc on Sept 24, 2016 12:39:08 GMT -5
It needed to be perfect. Flawless? Maybe. It needed to surpass whatever definition love had claimed today [ love is never really the same, is it? ] It needed to have a happy ending. A perfect one - that's almost _impossible_ to see these days. It needed to be one where nobody dies. Nobody heaves out their last breaths. The world would all hold still for that moment to hear the answer - [ yes? ] (dear god I hope so)
It needed a lot of things, really, that's what people told him. That it was supposed to be this super special moment where nothing could surpass it. But, really, Wynn only wanted one of those things. Sure, he wanted to do much more than what he had in mind - but he never would take anything over the idea of a simple eternity. Not divided by a grave or some cannon that signals our lives in youth. We'd be unified by the band that wraps around our fingers (damn, it's actually been that long since we first met?) We're banded by the promises of loyalty that would be whispered, from life to death (dear god hopefully the death part doesn't come soon).
Life itself paused for a moment. He stood behind the door of the home he lives in, grasping around inside the pocket of his coat pocket. There was a pocket inside of his coat and in there lay a box. It was a nice box, not the most fancy one, but it held Wynn's future. A life of being alone, or a life of being with someone else- someone he loved.
His question had been that.
He feels it, wraps his fingers around it and holds it for one, two seconds to make sure that it was real. That this was happening. People likely found him crazy for trying to attempt such a thing at such an age. "You're too young!" They would say, "You don't even know if you love him!" But the problem with that defense, is that he does know. It's hard to not love him when he's the only one that makes Wynn feel safe.
After all, every night that they spent under a tree was a night they found themselves enchanted. Under some type of spell where they can really talk about anything and whatever is on their mind and that's a great thing. He was happy with him - they were entangled with the ideas of future curling around their legs and feet, rooting them to their spot. They had been rooted to their spots, and it was like a serenade. The silence, that they just felt between each other and there wasn't much to it that needed to tell each other that they were fine. People would normally worry if it became quiet, but silence was something that had become a norm for the two.
And it was perfect. Because it felt like they came to an unanimous decision every time when they saw a spot, and they would think in unison [ not even one word had to be spoken ], and they could agree. His mind would speak, but he himself did not. This is the perfect spot to just sit and wait, ya know? And they knew. The world comes back into focus for him - and he sheds whatever coat of hazed fear that covered him for that moment. He was sure that he would say yes. [ Would he really, though? ]
He closes his eyes for a second, pressing away the dust that danced in them and then opening the door. Stepping out - he felt scared. Worried, nervous. That pit in your stomach you have when you're not sure if you passed on a test or something. He felt empty. That bitter, unsure taste starting to flood him and he was feeling his lungs close up slightly. [ self note: breathe - every moment is supposed to count on a day like this. ]
The male started his walk towards Renly's house. He was afraid. Scared. Worried. What would Renly say? The idea of actual eternity and being able to spend the rest of his (small) youthful life with someone sounded impossible. Happiness? It had been something foreign to him until he met Renly. He wasn't sure that he'd be able to enter that state of no emotion if he were to loose him. Wynn didn't plan this out in full, all he knew is that he wanted to take Renly on a walk.
His eyes darted around a lot - always fearing that someone would see him and talk to him. He felt so damn scared that he'd end up getting sick on whoever talked to him. Wynn ended up soon getting there. His heart seemed to be beating at the speed of a jackrabbit. It was a simple act he had to do. But would he do it?
[one]
[two]
He heaved out a sigh, gulping down his fears. He knocked on the door, hoping that it was Renly that appeared. God, Wynn thought. He hasn't been this scared for four years. And the last time he was that scared, he lost someone.
The male prays that he doesn't get that ending, not again.
