a collection of what ifs // [Geebs Victor AUs]

It was an odd feeling to have a robotic foot attached to the end of one's leg. Even after all these years it still bothered Erebus, it still reminded him of what he lost in the arena. Of course he lost more than that. He was down one thumb too. Both Turners were marked with scars, and he wondered if the ones in Lethe's mind were as deep as his own. Yes, his lovely sister. Now fellow victor and neighbor in the village of mansions. She was older now, and with two kids instead of one. Eden and Phelix. They were older too. It felt like time never stopped for Erebus and everyone was growing around him and he was still the fifteen year old in the sandy ghost town.

He smiles for them, for Lethe and Eden and Phelix. He smiles for his mother and his sisters. He smiles for the district and all the tributes that come in, asking him how to come back home. What can he tell them? Dumb luck? It was luck that a footless child struck down Charlotte, and then Siren, and then Leon... Leon who had hair that looked just like Lethe's. Like Erebus'.

He tries to smile at the boys in town with crooked grins and messy hair. Ones that speak with drawls and accents, even if they're fake. He sees his brother in them, the brother he only got to be with for a short time.

When Patricia won the year after him, he tried to visit Vargas' grave. He was buried in a neat row with all the other District Nine corpses. Nothing about Nocturne was neat and it was odd to see his resting place so clean.

Sometimes he wishes for another boy or girl from Five to when so he can go back there and pay Vargas the respects he's due. He was his brother when all Erebus was known for was his sister.

They replay his games occasionally. On the television in the living room that he keeps on because he can't stand the silence when it's off. He watches them. He sees his younger self- chubby cheeked and skinny, so skinny- slipping his knife in between tributes' ribs. He's so different now. Still young, but more mature. He's grown into a full frame, broad shoulders that signify he's a man and not a little boy. His cheekbones are more defined, all the baby fat stripped from them after lying in a saloon for a week without anything to drink.

He visits Lethe a lot. He helps Eden with homework and babysits Phelix whenever she needs it. Erebus can't imagine having kids of his own. They'd have white blonde hair, like Lethe, like him, like Leon... he wouldn't be able to look at it. He can hardly look at himself.

He's changed his name. Legally, with forms and everything. He talked to some Peacekeeprs, signed a few papers and made it legal.

Erebus Vargas Turner.

Nocturne was right, it does suit him.