Halfway Gone [Lincoln one-shot]

It's been a long week. First the reaping and watching my brother volunteer for the games. It's definitely been rough sitting at home wondering how he's doing. But I remember a lot of the pregames isn't aired for most to see. I saw the parade when he arrived, and I waited patiently as his training score was announced. But I haven't missed a day of work. It keeps me going. It gives me something to do. And it helps to keep the memories of the past hidden deep inside.

Lighting the furnace, I watch as the flame grows larger inside. It offers some warmth. My hands are dirty, but I know it's time to get to work. It's time to make my money for the day. But I forgot today is the day the games truly begin.

It's a thought I push away as I clean off my working area. I go through and make sure it's all there, and that nothing is missing. I calculate how much is needed to work with. How much material is needed and everything. I make sure my favorite hammer is sitting beside me. I refuse to work without it. It's not just an ordinary hammer. No, I made this one. I spent hours creating it. Hours making it. Hours trying to build the perfect one. And I won't work without it because it just has that special meaning, that special place inside my heart. I smile when I see it, and I know that it's there, and I sit down in my chair and start working.

Ting. Ting. Ting.

My hammer presses against the molten metal turning it into a blade of it's own. Recently I've been working more because Torka volunteered for the games, and I just don't want to be home. Lifting a tong, and moving the metal into the furnace, I try to keep myself smiling. I've done it too long. Losing another brother just doesn't make me happy. He's not dead yet, but the idea of it. It's terrifying really. I've seen what he can do. I'll never forget that peacekeeper he set on fire. I'll never forget the smell. Sometimes I've burnt myself while working, and I can't imagine what it'll be like to have my entire body fully engulfed in flames. My boss doesn't even bother me, or mess with me. He stands around watching. Pacing back and forth until he finally leaves. I don't want to talk to him. I just want to be alone.

I keep hammering at the metal, the motions getting stronger with each passing second. I have to make it perfect. An order for several swords came in, and I need to keep the line going. The boss told me I could go home if I wanted to. That I have an excuse, but I can't go home. I can't sit around listening to my family talk about how Torka is going to do well. That he's a career. That he can win the games. Yeah, it's nice to hear, but it doesn't ease my mind any at all.

In the back of the room there's a tv screen used for the games, and it's turned on right now. Just last night while I was here, I watched the scores being announced. Torka had done well. A ten, but a person from twelve had done better. It's weird. How could a district twelve beat my brother? Maybe one day I'll find out. Maybe one day I'll know, but right now it's not about that. On the screen now is the start of the games. It changes from the Capitol cheering to the twenty-four tributes rising into the arena.

I immediately stop what I'm doing, and I start searching for Torka. I want to watch him. I want him to do well. The countdown begins, and I can feel my heart racing frantically inside my chest. I don't know what he's going to do. But then I see the ridiculous shoes he's wearing. I chuckle slightly before realizing it could be a problem. I don't think he's ever worn high heeled shoes before. If he has, that's news to me. Each passing second feels like an entire lifetime has gone by. Nobody is making a sound, and I'm mumbling a prayer hoping it's heard.

Then it starts, and I'm freaking out on the inside while trying to remain calm on the outside. I watch as he runs away from the fight, and it catches me off guard. Maybe he has smarts after all. He runs away, and I'm left watching the bloodbath as people surround the cornucopia. The arena is different, well at least the cornucopia is. It's a house of sorts. He's gone, and people are still gathered around fighting.

That's when I watch people jump on Rachel. I don't know her, but she volunteered like my brother. I'm watching blood splattering, and it's making me sick. But that's not the worse part. I watch as this guy attacks a girl, and she's crumbles to the ground. And it was only an unarmed attack. I turn away from the screen because I can't take it anymore, and I make my way back into the tiny room where the furnace is. I want to keep watching the games to check on Torka, but I know nothing will happen until the bloodbath is over. I know he'll be okay. He can do this. I hope.

My boss walks back to the room, and he stares at me for a moment, and I wish he would just talk and get it over with. Surely he wants something. Surely he can tell me. I just hope it isn't bad news. I take my seat, and I scoot my hammer across the table trying to tell him to talk, but I don't know how. I don't know what to say to him. "You can leave if you want." His voice is quiet, and I told him earlier I was going to stay no matter what. That I refused to leave work early even for this. There's only one reason I would leave work early, and that would be if the unthinkable happens. I just shake my head at him, and when he walks out of the room, I pick up my hammer, and get back to work while listening to the constant reminder of the pain lingering in the future.