}the world we once knew
Oct 28, 2016 22:23:17 GMT -5
Post by thompson harvard - d2b - arc on Oct 28, 2016 22:23:17 GMT -5
hayk shim
I told myself I wouldn't go. And often when I told myself something I'd follow to it - who ever breaks a promise to themselves? I was supposed to keep it, and breaking it made everything feel odd. Odd, to find myself pulling on my nicest clothes.
'Ma would obviously hit me if not.
It was odd to see the sun not rise today. I spent hours dreading this day where the house would be silent. Empty and excluded from any source of life. It was going to be filled with mourning. Sadness. It was odd to not see the light glistening through the windows. It confused the child in me. Doesn't the sun rise every day? It's like a schedule, when the sun rises, I must rise too. Does that mean I should just stay in bed all day? Wait for the night to arise as if day never came? It twisted my bones, that lifeless grey morning.
But at the same time I wanted to embrace it.. On a day like this ; the sun never rises.
They pulled me there like a dog on a leash, leaving any choice of refusing to go impossible. It made my heart race and my head pound, because I knew this was the last time I would see my brother in person. I wouldn't be able to remember any of the stories as a happy time because they'd end up being a nightmare. No stories are as good as the first time they've heard them, right? Imagine mourning the death of a storyteller, whom you'd only give your own life to them in order to see and hear those stories again.
It didn't take much for us all to arrive there, the direct family, and I don't know if I really want to look. It's something that I couldn't decide on in the past three months. did I really want to see him? Did I want to see his dead corpse lifeless in that casket? Just watch and do nothing? Maybe I'll just wait for the end, give my prayers and thanks for that last moment.
The wall seems to be a good place for me to find my thoughts. Recognize my morals. It's a good place to mourn.
It keeps me up even when I want to fall down.
'Ma would obviously hit me if not.
It was odd to see the sun not rise today. I spent hours dreading this day where the house would be silent. Empty and excluded from any source of life. It was going to be filled with mourning. Sadness. It was odd to not see the light glistening through the windows. It confused the child in me. Doesn't the sun rise every day? It's like a schedule, when the sun rises, I must rise too. Does that mean I should just stay in bed all day? Wait for the night to arise as if day never came? It twisted my bones, that lifeless grey morning.
But at the same time I wanted to embrace it.. On a day like this ; the sun never rises.
They pulled me there like a dog on a leash, leaving any choice of refusing to go impossible. It made my heart race and my head pound, because I knew this was the last time I would see my brother in person. I wouldn't be able to remember any of the stories as a happy time because they'd end up being a nightmare. No stories are as good as the first time they've heard them, right? Imagine mourning the death of a storyteller, whom you'd only give your own life to them in order to see and hear those stories again.
It didn't take much for us all to arrive there, the direct family, and I don't know if I really want to look. It's something that I couldn't decide on in the past three months. did I really want to see him? Did I want to see his dead corpse lifeless in that casket? Just watch and do nothing? Maybe I'll just wait for the end, give my prayers and thanks for that last moment.
The wall seems to be a good place for me to find my thoughts. Recognize my morals. It's a good place to mourn.
It keeps me up even when I want to fall down.
