Bent and Broken [Aitu vs Sarpedons day 3]

My feet are killing me. The pain is almost unbearable, and I want to take these stupid shoes off, yet I'm left with a question of is it worth it? Is it worth the chance of stepping on something and injuring myself? No. My calves are sore, my knees are aching, my hips have so much strain on them, and I still have no idea how anyone can walk on these. It's done in the Capitol all the time, and maybe I'll figure it out before my cannon sounds.

So far Torka has proven himself as the career I made him out to be. He's a fighter, he's strong, and I know he wants to win, and that's the hardest part about it all. At least one of us has to die. "You definitely showed that mutt who's boss." So far my efforts of getting him to speak to me have been futile, but I'll keep trying. Giving up just isn't an option. It's not in my vocabulary. A sense of happiness and hope flutter inside me as the corners of his lips turn into a smile. "Oh, thank you for boiling my water. Appreciate it." Mother taught me to thank someone who saved me. Torka may as well be my saving grace right now. Without him and his fire, I'd surely die of dehydration. But at least it's said, and at least it's done with. The thirst has gone away only to be replaced by a nagging roar rumbling through my stomach.

A bird sits in my bag. It's dead just like the two mutts from earlier, and as a reminder of the prize received, I took the foot and leg. Death comes at a price, and those two loud, ugly critters will never scream again. The sounds will never infiltrate my mind anymore. They're dead. Gone. Deceased. Yet the drummer still stands firm inside my head pounding against my skull. Every step turns into a nightmare.

Squinting my eyes, and trying to see takes away much more than I originally thought. Yet Torka seems strong, but he's always strong and brave. Part of me wants to sit down on the ground and beg for a chance to rest. My eyes are heavy, and each breath is shallow and labored. Yet I keep going until I feel like I can't move anymore.

"We should rest. Gonna need our strength for whatever comes our way tomorrow." It's a simple statement. A simple truth, but in all reality it's me saying that I physically can't go on anymore. "Is this okay?"

A heavy sigh leaves my chest as I turn towards him almost pleading for a chance to rest. My body is weak, and my mind is caught in the midst of the thick fog we escaped. "Go ahead and rest Rolf. I got this."

I'm the happiest kid alive. Nothing more than a toddler thrown into his favorite store with mother saying go wild. It's a perfect moment, and almost immediately, I fall over. I'm not sure if it's because of the heels, the exhaustion of staying awake for the last two days, or both. It's probably both because there's no denying the fatigue devouring me. It crawls across my skin inching from my toes onto my feet and up my legs. Yet I can't find the words to say. Thank you won't cover the price he's paying right now. We risk dying, but he's willing to stop and rest, and that means the world to me.

Ting. Ting. Ting.

Turning in every direction, my eyes land on a parachute falling from the sky landing a few yards from my feet. I reach out for it wrapping the canister in my hands. The corners of my lips twist into a genuine smile as I remove the lid -

A rope.

You've got to be kidding me.

First a stupid trash bag saying that I'm just a piece of trash, and now a rope? What am I going to do with this? Hang myself? I shake my head slightly as I place the rope beside me;

The once genuine smile turns into a dark grin, and it takes all my strength to stifle a laugh from bellowing into the air around. Removing the foot and leg from the trash, I start weaving the rope around it. I'll wear the prize with pride showing everyone what I'm capable of. It goes around my neck, and the foot and leg dangle down my chest - "How does this look?" My gaze turns towards Torka as I lift my prized possession into the air, and I'm only met with disappointment. Yet he never says a word.

I shrug my shoulders before lying down on the ground. The darkness grows darker, and within seconds the anthem is blaring through the arena. Only one face appears in the sky. The Lowe girl from district ten. I should feel bad for her family, yet I can't find it inside me. It's one less person standing in my way. One less person keeping me from seeing my family. And it goes away before I even get a chance to realize what had happened.

Within a matter of minutes, my eyes snap shut, and I drift off into a land of dreams praying Torka doesn't kill me in my sleep.

At the first sight of light, my eyes snap open, and I feel worse than I did before. Every part of my body aches, yet I'm sitting up turning in every direction. Torka is off in the distance minding his own business; I should tell him I'm awake, but part of me wants to keep it a secret. It's a shame I fear him leaving me behind. "How long have you been up?" I keep my voice quiet because I don't' know if anyone is near, and I don't want anyone to hear.

"About an hour."

At least he got sleep too, and we both can fill the tanks to move on with the day. The humidity is still unbearable, and it's growing harder to breathe. Shaggy locks plaster against the side of my face. All my stuff is thrown into the trash except the poled weapon, and the necklace dangling from my neck. And we're on our feet moving like we've done the day before. Something moves in the distance, and I stop for just a moment - "Let's kick some ass today." I whisper quietly praying for some sort of miracle.

I swear his smile creeps me out, but his words pump me up. He's running forward, and I'm following behind him. Torka moves faster than I would've thought based on the shoes he's wearing, and I remain slow trying not to break my leg. "Make them pay." I whisper through gritted teeth.

Torka stands near them, and he attacks the one from seven. It's people we're fighting. Other humans.

I stop in my tracks for just a moment long enough for them to attack him. If I don't do something fast, they'll kill him.

I cannot let him down.

I have failed.

A volcano leaks inside me as every emotion pulses through my veins as the lava grows stronger. It's threatening to blow at any second, and all I can do is stare at the tiny shallow cut while Torka does the most damage. Blood taunts me, calling me names, telling me I'm not good enough. Oh how wrong they are. Failure isn't caused by the mistakes that are made, the only failures are those who give up completely, and I am not a quitter. Torka needs me at his side, and I'm going to stand my ground, and I'm going to fight. I'm going to kill because I'm not ready to lose a brother.

I wasn't ready when Katelyn killed Chaske, but I wasn't at his side to defend him.

Two knives miss him, and he attacks again stabbing the girl in the back. The knife is strong, it's an extension of his arm, but if I think about this poled weapon sitting loosely in the palm of my hand, I can only see this as a large extension. A knife is more controlled, and this can be also if I just hold it steady.

I shake the first attack off pretending it's nothing more than nervous jitters. The duo isn't a mutt like the ugly beast from yesterday. They have a family cheering for them, friends willing them home, and we're trying to steal it away from them. Who am I to decide who lives and who dies?

It's sickening.

She strikes again. The blade of her axe digging through his back, and the volcano setting inside becomes under more pressure. Each breath catches in the back of my throat - I have to do something. I cannot just stand here and let him die. The male launches a knife, and it slides across his hand. Blood gushes from the wounds, and he's bound to grow weak at some point.

But this is where I come in.

I'm just a kid from nine wanting to live. A kid from nine trying my best to live as the good child. Bad things don't happen to good people. Mother told me that as I grew up. Mother and father lied. They wanted to keep me under their wing to hide what was actually happening.

The dangling foot hits my chest, and I tighten my grip on the poled weapon.

It's only a matter of time, a matter of minutes, and Torka is counting on me.

But I fight for more than just him.

I fight for my family and friends.

I fight for me.

It's a never ending battle. Life and death. People dying left and right. My hands are clean of innocent blood, yet the fear of killing and dying lingers inside. Torka is dying, and if I don't do something fast, my entire world could turn upside down in the blink of an eye. He attacks, and it's weak. He's vulnerable, and he's relying completely on me to stand my ground, to save him. I've never seen a man look so weak in my entire life, but the smile twisted across his face says otherwise. She's dying too, and as much as it pains me I want her dead before they kill my brother. He doesn't talk to me much, yet his actions have proven more than enough.

The volcano erupts inside me spewing anger and hatred throughout my entire body. Every muscle clenches tightly, and I'm glaring at them. They're hurting him. My jaw snaps shut. My eyes narrow. Heat radiates from my face, and I swear the skies are crying with us. They have no right to hurt him, yet here we are trying to do the same to them. It's live or die in this awful place. Kill or be killed.

"Leave him alone!"

My voice is loud, rising through the chaos as I try to contain the fire burning inside. Red spots flash before my eyes. My feet are moving without me willing them. A frantic heart sits in my throat suffocating the life out of me. If they want to kill someone, why not kill me?

I've hurt my family. I've destroyed them. And here I am walking away like nothing's wrong.

I am the good child, and bad things don't happen to me, but I'll never return to where I was.

Torka doesn't deserve the pain they're putting him through.

A bloodcurdling scream slithers past my lips as I hoist the mighty poled weapon into the air. It's truly a now or never moment. I promised Citadel I'd do what I had to do. I said I would kill if it meant coming home alive.

But can I do it?

I close my eyes for only a moment allowing myself to take a deep breath.

When I open my eyes, I'm ready to go.

I'm ready to save my brother's life.