Tears and Tulips [Ghosty]

Death. It was a hard thing for just about anyone to deal with. The loss of a loved one is an excruciatingly challenging thing to attempt to cope with. Unfortunately, this loved one that Ilex had lost had been gone almost his entire life. Even though he had barely known, as she had passed on when he was only four years of age, he still mourned her and missed her. After all, it was his mother. He missed her even more today, though. Fourteen years ago exactly, she had died. She was killed by a disease that overtook her health, taking her away from her family forever. There was no way that she could ever come back to them, unless it was in the form of photographs and memories.

Ilex had gone out that morning, despite the chilly weather. It was heading into the colder months of the year. Therefore, Ilex was sure to put on his coat when he headed out. Although, he was never all that sensitive to the cold. It was more or less as a way to be a role model to his younger siblings, and to make his father happy. He made his way down the street in the direction of a small flower shop. When he entered, he greeted the woman who owned the place. They knew one another well, due to Ilex often dropping by to purchase some flowers to place by his mother's grave. That was what he was doing today. He looked around for a few moments, looking for the prettiest, healthiest tulips. Tulips had always been his mother's favorite flower, so that was usually what he placed by her grave, unless the shop didn't have any, for some odd reason. Usually, though, they had a nice supply of them.

He found the flowers that he was seeking, and picked them up. The young man brought the flowers to the shopkeeper at the counter and paid for them, kindly giving the woman a little extra as a 'thank you' for her being so friendly toward him over the years, no matter what mood he was in or how he was feeling when he entered her little shop.

When Ilex left the small store, he then headed in the direction of the cemetery. It took him about ten minutes to walk there from the flower shop, and all the while, he made sure the flowers remained in tact, unaffected by the cold wind that was blowing that winter morning. As he finally arrived at the cemetery, he entered. It was full of graves, not only of the regular District Six citizens that had passed away, but also of the District's past tributes. It made his heart beat a bit faster in fear, when he saw these. He thought about the fact that one day, it could be him picked for the Games. He could be sent in and murdered, only to be brought back to the District as a corpse for his father and siblings to mourn and bury. It was a terrible thought. The only thing positive he could think of that would come out of his death was that he would be like his mother. Perhaps, if there were really an afterlife, he'd be with her again.

Walking past the tribute graves, respectfully quiet, he made his way over to his mother's burial site. He approached her tombstone and looked at it, remembering the short amount of time he had had with her. She was always such a sweet woman, caring for everyone, even when she was on the brink of death. All she cared about was how other people in her life were fairing. She didn't seem to care if she would survive, as long as those she cared for did instead. She had even begged her own family not to spend the money on medication for her when she was dying. They didn't listen, though, and purchased it for her anyway. They wanted her to live, but she refused to take the medicine. She wanted other people who needed it to have it, and ended up passing on, even though her family had tried to keep her alive. It was almost as if she had chosen to die. Ilex didn't understand in that moment as to why someone would do that.

Kneeling down in front of the headstone, he placed the flowers in front of it and spoke softly, as if his mother were able to hear him. Perhaps she could. He'd never really know that for sure.

"Mom..." he began, trailing off as tears started to well in his eyes. He wiped away the tears before continuing, not wanting to cry too much in case someone was watching. "It's been fourteen years now. Can you believe it? It's almost time for me to be done with the reaping. I really miss you. I know I wasn't in your life for long, but I wish you were here with me. Dad and the others are doing great. We all really want to see you again. I'm sorry that we can't..."

Ilex seemed like he wanted to speak more, but trailed off again, then sitting on the ground, gazing at his mother's grave. He prevented himself from crying, but felt like he wanted to. He didn't understand how he missed her so much when he had only known her for the first four years of his life, but he knew he did. There was nothing that would change that.