marco bodt {peacekeeper - fin}

I've always dreamed big. Bigger than the tallest Capitol skyscraper, beyond the sky and the stars. My mom always called me a romantic. She knew I was going to be an optimist. "Just like your father," she said. Always following his wildest dreams.

I don't know at what age I decided I wanted to be a hero.

Not a storybook hero; the knights in shining armor, or whatever, the ones who win the hearts of princesses. I suppose it would be nice to find myself a prince, but a fantasy world is not what I had in mind as a child. I wanted to be one of the heroes patrolling the streets, white uniform and polished shoes, hair slicked back, weapon at my belt. I watched them rescue my own mother from a robber, a masked man wielding a gun. It was the first time I had experienced real fear; the type that leaves you frozen and gutted, unable to move. The law saved her life. Justice was served. I admired them ever since.

They were even there for me when my cat got stuck in a tree. The little things can't go unnoticed, you know? It mattered to me and Mr. Whiskers.

My mom thought I would change my mind. She was grateful, but she knew there was more to being a Peacekeeper.

I didn't change my mind. As soon as I was old enough, I enlisted into Peacekeeper training. There, I met my best friends and faced the hardest challenges of my life. The very first day I introduced myself and my goals, and our instructor tried his hardest to make me feel like a speck of dirt. Anywhere else, someone would say "follow your dreams!" Not here. He thought my dream was impossible. I had to finish in the top ten of my class to work in the Capitol, so it was admittedly difficult. Everyone else was either shipped off to patrol the districts, or a handful of them joined the Survey Corps. I had never even heard of them until I started training. They were mutt-killers, assigned some of the most dangerous jobs. What I wanted was known for being a "cushioned" and "easy" lifestyle.

I didn't mind that, really. The Capitol is my home.

I ended up sharing a room with a man named Jean. He was hot-headed, blunt, and definitely not the type of person I would normally approach. But he was my roommate, and I know there's more to people than meets the eye. So, I tried to get to know him. We learned a lot about each other in a short period of time, and I was right - there is more to him. He's a natural leader, exactly the type of person I admired as a child. He resorts to arguing a lot, but now that we have each other I can always be there to stop him. I like to think of us as a nice balance.

We finished 6th and 7th in our class. He's always been able to best me in close combat training, but we both reached our goals. I was excited because he wanted the same thing I did, which meant he would be working together.

Then, I felt fear for a second time.

We were practically fresh out of the academy, ready to move on with our lives. Word spread of deadly muttations escaping a laboratory nearby. I didn't think much of it at first - it was probably a rumor, and if it was real somebody else would take care of it. It was naive to think that way. The danger was close enough to warrant a dispatch of newly-graduated Peacekeepers, including myself, Jean, and everyone else in my class. The mutts were killing real citizens, and they ordered us to help stop it.

I never thought I'd have to do this. The danger was real, and this was not the heroism my child self imagined.

Terror was running rampant through my body, but I don't think Jean noticed. That is one trait of mine I rarely accept credit for; remaining calm. When faced with blood-hungry mutants, you would think someone like me would panic. I don't know what it is, but I've always had a level head. It's not that I'm thinking the way Arlert does, creating strategies and escape routes on the spot. I just know that panicking will make everything worse. My mother used to call me a true keeper of the peace, hence why she finally accepted my decision to join the Peacekeepers. All of my friends were terrified and I was the one talking them down, trying to make sure everyone didn't fly head-first into danger. It was hard. Not everyone made it out alive, but teamwork is what saved the rest of us.

I didn't kill a single mutt, but I was a voice of encouragement.

That day made me realize something. Training doesn't make a Peacekeeper - it's courage, patience, and teamwork wrapped up in hope. I think that's why I abandoned my dream. My comrades died, and where would I be? Living it up in the Capitol, patrolling streets that would never be as dangerous as the rest of the world. Something in Jean changed too, because we ended up making an identical decision. We would be inseparable, but found ourselves in a place that made us feel like we were in over our heads. Mutt-killers; who would've thought?

I'd be a different kind of hero. No, not a hero. A soldier.

And I won't let anyone else die on my watch.