oceans apart {typhoon oneshot}

Ocean waves crash against the sandy shore, and my eyes linger on the colors as my ears listen in on the sounds. It's almost a music to my ears, but this time it's different. Something has changed. The last time I sat here I watched for hours praying my parents would return, and they didn't. Now two people who helped give me a new life ran away. They disappeared into the world of Panem where only one would survive. Understanding their decision is nearly impossible because I value my life, and yet they threw theirs away over a stupid vow of protection. Why abandon the rest of us?

I don't need them.

It's barely light out, and the sun slowly peaks over the horizon. Rays of yellow and red reflect from the water. I'm truly blessed living in such an amazing district. Having the ocean at my will. Swimming when I want to. Fishing. Surfing. Anything that I can imagine. The one thing that hasn't been done is cliff diving - I value my life too much for that. Birds squawk as they fly over the water, seagulls dip down catching fish. It's a perfect life. At least that's what they want you to think.

Plopping down into the sand, I bring my knees to my chest. Shaky hands remove the folded up sheet of paper, and the rugged pencil from my pockets. I have much to say, and yet the words won't slide from the tip of my tongue. All is at a loss, and all I care about is making sense of the world around me. People lie every single day of their lives, but none of them bothered me until now.

What happened to none of us being left behind? What happened to a promise of never abandoning us?

Why leave now when they were needed the most?

None of it makes sense anymore, and I can't sit here and watch as they drift away. They aren't my family, and they don't care about how I feel. Staying here isn't an option anymore, but trying to leave is impossible. The walls are surrounded by the gates leading to a place far away from home. The ocean only goes so far, and even then I don't know if life exists beyond it. Swimming away would surely end in the death of me.

But isn't death better than living in the constant pain?

A silent tear rolls down my cheek as I try to think of what to say. I want to write, I want to tell Tempest and Blizzard I'm sorry I'm not there, but I can't live in a house that's built on a bunch of lies. My heart can't take anymore of it, and I just want to go away. Find a place to hide where nobody can find me, however, running away from problems doesn't work either; it only makes them worse.

A friendship has been ruined torn apart by a stupid decision. A stupid vow of protection. She said she would do this for any of us, but I feel that's a lie too. How can I trust her decisions? How can I understand that she's done this for a reason? It doesn't make sense, and now I'm forced to deal with at least one dead body when they return from the games.

I told her I wouldn't watch them die, and that's a promise I can keep, but I'm better than them because I'll keep a promise I made, and I won't make one if I know I'll break it.

A heavy sigh leaves my chest as I press the pencil against the paper -

I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused. If you need me, and you truly know anything about me, you'll know where to find me.
Ty.

Wadding the piece of paper up, I throw it away. Someone will find it, and my only hope is it's someone who truly cares.