sticks and stones }} aj vs ss
Mar 4, 2017 19:16:06 GMT -5
Post by maverick hale 🌧️ d5 [nyte] on Mar 4, 2017 19:16:06 GMT -5
• A S R I E L • D R E A M U R R •
I don't think Jano knows this is a suicide. The silence is deafening, Sherbet sat across my lap, fingers idly tracing the metal bits not sharp enough to slice through delicate skin. I’m scared. Of course I don’t want to fucking die, I’d have killed myself a long time ago if that were the case but there is something so exciting about seeing this world. Something satisfying. I know that I will die before this month’s end and I think I'm okay with that. Or at least, I hope that if I tell myself that long enough it'll somehow be less terrifying once my time comes.
Setting my nose was the worst. I could feel the bones grinding as I pushed it back in place and it took everything I had not to scream and alert every predator within a mile to our position. It's weird, having to think like this. Running for my life whilst clutching a weapon hungry for the flesh of another. There's not a doubt in my mind I'll do it too. I'll kill someone. I've already tried and she is so much more powerful than fingers wrapped around small throats.
Jano needs to get back to Castor. It's all I can think of as minutes turn to hours filled with gentle silence. Heavy, pained breathing and broken bones swelling once given the chance to rest. If I had the chance to see Chara again, to see her once before the both of us made our beds with upturned dirt. I am a man without purpose but Jano should be with her, not me. I meant nothing to him until three weeks ago and they have spent the whole of their lives together.
They should spend whatever time they have left together too. "Asriel. Are you... holding up ok?" It's Jano who breaks the silence, heart falling into my throat as I gaze at his wounds- ones I somehow feel responsible for.
I've never been a good liar so I don't bother. "I'm worried about you." It's a weird kind of aching in the pit of my stomach. The thought of him dying - of being left here alone - kind of makes me want to throw up. "You can't die for me, okay?" Because that's who he is. A martyr and a hero and the kind of man I should aspire to be. Instead, all I want is for him to be selfish. To leave me to die for his own good. "If I'm going to die, let me die." And I try to sound as stern as I can manage, even though my voice shakes.
"No one has to die, As." No one's ever given me a nickname before. Even though his words are nonsense they full me with a kind of warmth that turns my cheeks bright red.
"That's just not true." I know I sound like a whiny child, fingers tracing the ground with idle intent. I don't want to look him in the eye. I just can't. "What happens if we're the only two left? At the end."
He's quiet for a while. Jano doesn't want to acknowledge that one day. he might have to kill me. I won't make him. I'm weak, an easy target and will probably be picked off before the day's end. I think I'll miss Jano the most, when I die. He's the closest I've ever come to a friend.
The next time he speaks, I wish I could just tell him to stop. To shut up. To place my palm over his mouth and beg for painful silence once more because I don't want to think about this. It's hypocritical, I know. As I was saying much of the same not too long ago. "If shit gets bad again, like it did today, don't fight, Asriel, okay? Just, please run. Get yourself safe."
No one has ever given a damn about my survival before. I really wish they wouldn't start now. "I owe it to you and Castor to fight." I reply, simple and angry and my tongue feels sharper than it has in a long while. Fuck him, fuck him for thinking I'm worth something. For wanting to save me. How dare he be willing to lay down his life for a maggot previously dwelling within the walls with only spiders for company.
And then he tells me something that I'd never considered before. He tells me I owe myself survival and I want to ask why he sees anything of worth within me. "I didn't volunteer to survive." But the words are shaking, heart pounding and sending angry blood roaring between my ears. He asks me why, an easy question yet one I don't want to answer. He'll hate me if I do.
But only moments later, he knows it all. He knows about Chara and my father he knows about Alphys and how bad I wanted her dead because she was helping him replace us. Mom and Chara and Me. He knows that dad locked me up all of my life and that this freedom was worth death. To get to meet him and Castor and Ingran- to breathe fresh air that has not crept through a musty attic.
"Kid, your family has some issues." And I laugh. For the first time in what seems like forever a grin has spread from cheek to broken cheek- joy bubbling out of my throat and muffled by my palm pressed tightly to my lips. No one has said it so simply before. Especially after they know they are talking to a would-be murderer.
"Yeah, it does huh?" I take a long moment to think, spark of joy doused in gasoline and set aflame with fear and hopelessness as soon as it appeared. Joy is always so short lived. "I got better after leaving. Meeting you and Castor and hell, even Ingran, made it worth it."
"So don't worry if I die okay?"
"No one has to die." He repeats and because it is so much easier than arguing- I let myself believe.
"Promise?"
"Promise."
So I lay my head upon his shoulder and sleep, content as a child told happily ever after was just around the corner.
But that never lasts long, huh?
That morning - or at least I think it's morning - monsters arrive with gentle dawn. The one who tied me up and the girl with cherry juice upon her palms. Fear tastes like the poor girl's blood and I cannot forget the sound of her Cannon's scream ringing through the entire arena. They won't show mercy, so I guess we shouldn't either.
"Jano, please wake up." I shake him gently, gripping Sherbet within sweaty palms. "We need to fight."
It's easier to hurt them before they have the chance to hurt me. I won't be locked up again, not by her whip and not by my father. This fate is my own and I've decided I'm not ready to give it up. Not yet.
[attacks scarlett -- keyblade]
bRhQFg60glaive
[Deep Gash on Left Calf -- 8.0 damage]
glaive