Chasing away the past [KyVy]

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They'll either want to kill you, kiss you, or be you.

Chasing away the past [KyVy] Apr 10, 2017 20:29:45 GMT -5

Post by * on Apr 10, 2017 20:29:45 GMT -5

Her face was so beautiful, sleeping without worry while a little one rests in her stomach. My new little baby nestled and surrounded with protection. Only, they weren't protected much at all. They were in danger. Those assholes that threatened our lives and almost cost us so much. "Sleep, Vy." My words coo to her in a whispering tone to her slumbering mind. She don't hear me. I know she doesn't. I move too much in my sleep on occasion and any movement has already been passed off without worry to her now days. It's enjoyable though, to have her sleeping so close to me.

"I love you, Vy." I coax her into more of a slumber and gently press my lips against her cheek and press my chin against the groove between her chin and chest. Inhale the sweet scent of sweat and lotion. The rhythmic breathing of her breaths almost lull me back into a restful state, but I know that I have something to do. My mind won't quit going to the barn and to those faces. It won't let me forget that awful memory of the capture and Vy's torture; my torture.

My hand rests on her stomach very lightly. My finger tracing a solid line about a inch where my peapod sleeps, probably dreaming away without worry of what his or her mommy is fixing to do.

-----

"Sleep little baby. Hush. Hush. You are too precious for words and your face resembles the heavens. Sleep little baby. Hush now. Hush now. You are destined for greater things. You are going to be a wonderous little fighter; champion..." The words sing out in hushed tones as Mira snuggles against my breast. Her hand clenches tight to my shirt as comfort. My lips curl up into a smile, adoring those precious little cheeks that were only minutes ago screaming out fighting sleep. The redness still tints the flesh to the point it looks like she might have a fever but her soft sighs and barely opened creased lids tell me that she's almost there. She is nearly over that bridge into dreamland once again.

"Sweet little one who cries for an hour, sleep well. Sleep well. Sleep as long as you can. Hmm..hmmm... hmmm..." Humming takes over, exhaustion taking over my voice as I simply let her drift off the rest of the way to meet with the sandman for one final moment. An exhausted sigh takes over when she double sighs and her eyes close all the way. My head tips back as I look to the floor with Brooklyn who gives me the same look back as if she knows how bad Mira was needing that nap.

"I'm sorry, Brookie. She wouldn't go to sleep. Thank you for being such a good girl and being quiet so she would fall asleep." My arm aches. My mind slips away into a darker part of a memory for some reason. The quiet house always gives me chills after such a screaming fit from the sleep fight. Yet, I don't stop rocking her.

----

The darness seems to evade me. The chilling sound of silence screams at me as I tiptoe down the stairs of the house and down to the living room. The small light on the wall is all I have to show me to where I want to go. It's enough though. Enough to show me to my shoes and to my long jacket as I slip my arms through it. I rummage through the drawer looking for the flashlight and then a lighter. Some tissues seem to make their way into my hand and stuffed into my pocket and I grab a small jar of lighter fluid.

The door creaks like a thousand riffles going off all at one time. The sound igniting the entire house alight with sound even though it really only gave two cracks as the door opened and then closed behind me, locking it to make sure my loves were all safe and sound until I came back from my duties. I gained new responsibilities when Vy became pregnant. She harbours such a precious cargo that she has to be safe from those nasty people. They deserve what's coming to them.

"Vy... sleep well. I'll be back soon." I tell her through the door, as if my whispering words would wisp themselves up to her sleep filled eyes and flitter into her ears for only her to hear.

-----

Those rosey red cheeks finally start to fade the more she lulls away into her epic sleep. The way she clenches and unclenches her fingers from my shirt is amazing. She doen'st even know she's clinging onto the thing that gave her life. She doesn't have any idea what's going on in the world around her. She simply knows she's safe and sound. That I would never let anyone ever harm her again. No one would ever take her away from me and Brooklyn is my daughter as well. Both of the girls seems content in this quiet house with the ticking of the clock on the wall being the only thing to tell me that time isn't holding still.

Time held still one time. Time stopped forever when pain was something that was igniting my body once more. Hours upon hours seemed like an eternity that would never close. Until she had arrived. Until she showed up and caressed my face and let her arms settle my world and bring it back into a ticking manner of knowledge.

I look to the door, wondering when she would arrive back home from work. When I would be able to caress my lips with hers and feel her arms around my body. To hear her strumming heartbeat against my ears so I would know that she was still alive and breathing and mine.

"Alrighty, lass. Time to put you down to sleep on your own. I love you, Mira. Sleep well, my darling." I coo. Standing up, I feel the muscles pull to keep her where she's not jostled around. I dare not want to wake her when she's only just now taken to a deep slumber that she so desperately needed. I shush her gently, being careful with every step that the stairs challenge me. Upon entering the bedroom door, I kiss her cheek and lay her down in the crib, listening to the sound of her stretching to acclimate her to the new position. A deep sigh, and she's still gone. A smile escapes as I turn around and walk out of the bedroom and walk to the steps. Three steps down, I am able to see Brooklyn playing with the puzzles and I sit down.

I breath in.

Breath out.

---------

The darkness and dew smell on everything sent shivers down my spine. To be out so late of a night was daunting and frightening, but nothing was ever as frightening as the night I disappeared. Nothing was more frightening the night that Vy was taken away, pulled away by force by those neanderthals. It was one of the worst nights ever. They would pay, slowly, but they would pay. Little by little, I would make sure that they were going to regret ever doing that to use. That they would see that they would pay for making our lives a living hell.

"Come on Ky. Keep going. You are almost there." I push myself forward. I keep myself going willingly. The courage to keep going is stronger than the fear to stay back.

Step after step, my mind whittles away into nothing except an escape. It goes over an escape route and I have to trust that my body will know the way back out once I set out to do what I need to.

"Find it. Burn it. Make them know that what they did was wrong. They will not mess with the Ruzes or the Pryces.

And a gentle glow starts to light up the woods. "A window?" I question, feeling the adrenaline start. My fingers tense up and I grab for the tissues and the bottle. I reach to my pocket, feeling for the lighter's miniscule bump so I know this whole trip wasn't in vain. "Breathe... you can do this."

I sneak around the side, closer to the bark where everything took place. The flashbacks are too hard to deal with and a pang of guilt and fear reside deep. A sense of nausea takes over as I push the tissues into the bottle, yearning for the liquid to seep up into the tissue and devour the flame that would soon strike it true. The thought was there. The method was there. Everything was perfect. The complete silence except for the tiny insects playing their nighttime melody was the only thing to tell me that everything was fine.

"You. Will. Pay..." I reach into the pocket for the striker. My fingers trembling ever much so. I flick the button twice, rubbing my thumb against the flint to get the flame going but it doesn't ignite. Anxiety runs rampant inside my body. Nerves making my fingers loose the grip on the lighter as I fumble with finding the lighter on the darkened ground until my nails catch onto something hard and I bring it up once more to light.

"Light, damn you." My voice trembles with fear. My eyes flicker from the darkness in front of me to the light in the window and the shadows that pass by it every few seconds.

FLICK... WHOOSH

A light gives me hope, and the flame lights the tissues. The process starts very suddenly and no sooner does the heat ache for release, a mind numbing jolt takes me to the ground and grass invades my nose. Dirt flies into my eyes blinding me even though darkness seems to take over my sight already. An attacker leaps on top of me, a fist dives deep into my shoulder until my voice clammers out.

"STOP... please... I... I..."

"You again? Why in the HELL are... shhhh!" The voice tells me to stop, but I still struggle against his weight on my hips. I still fight against the hand going over my mouth to keep me from making a sound. The familiarity of his voice doesn't hit me until moments later when he very sternly tells me to not to risk the baby again. I stop dead in my fight. I look up, outlining his face and scruff. The grey seems to poke out even in the pitch black of the night. Leakage seems to make its way out of my eyes.

"I"m sorry. I"m sorry." I try to whisper out and he takes the bottle further away from me, dumping out the liquid and stuffing the tissues inside before putting into an inner pocket on his coat and the weight is taken off.

"Up. Now. You don't have much time... you have to go." His whispers seek urgency for me to be off his property but I can't explain what sense of security it is to have him escorting me out. What could have happend if I had went through with it? Will they ever know?

"Than..."

"Shhh." His voice darts out and a hand clamps over my bicep as he practically drags me away from a mistake I almost made. I trust his judgements. I follow willingly. Behind me, voices make their way outside, but it's in drunken hues. A sound of a bottle falling, shattering against a floor makes me shudder and keep my pace with my savior. His name escapes me, but I remember him. His gait, unknowing, but his kind eyes are forever burned into the recesses of my mind.

------

"Kyky. Come play. I wanna play with you. Will you help? Puzzle is hard." A voice upsets the video replaying in my mind. However, a smile seems to find it's place just as easily to replace any bad vibes that might have been echoing off my person. I give her two thumbs up.

"Of course. Let's see what troubles you have my love. I can see what I can do to help you." I grin and plop down to see what troubles she's having. It's as simple as turning a peice just sixty degrees to the right to make the peice fall into place on the wooden board, but for her, the task was just not reachable without a little bit of insight. She craves my attention for reasons that I can't fathom. I am a horrible person deep down sometimes, wanting to harm a human, but with her, I can't seem to make it known that I wanted that. She only knows the good side to me. The lovable Kyanite that takes care of her and her little sister.

I'm glad.

"What else do we have here, Brookie? Can you help me figure out where this one will go?" I ask her, showing her a peice that is green with part of a pink and yellow flower on it. The mouth of the character is obviously showing on it and I can see where it goes without even trying, but she ponders the thoughts and looks vigorously to see where it might forever rest.

"Hmm... I think... THERE!" She giggles and that sends a warm feeling into my heart, taking away the chilling thoughts from moments ago.

------

Dew soaks up into my pant legs. I didn't know that the walk to this rotten part of the forest would have taken so long. An hour has passed and I wonder how long I had really been out here. A certain amount of chill has set in finally, my chin quivering very lightly with the brisk walk and nerves that upset my psychological stability. I can't seem to conjure up any words to express my gratitude from making a huge mistake but all in all, I'm completely pissed that the barn still stood erect.

"Don't EVER come to my part of the woods again. Do you want them to find you again? Do you want him to torture you worse or kill you next time?" His words have hate in them, mostly anger at me for trying to burn a peice of their family lodging. Questions as to why he was helping me still hinder my accepting nature.

"I dont' care. They deserve it. They hurt me. They hurt my girlfriend... They -" Almost ruined two lives and severing the emotions of another three.

"What about her? Do you want them to take it out on her. You know they will. They did it once. They'll do it again. If it were up to me and I wasn't looking out for you, then you'd be back in that barn with far worse - nevermind. You're home is near, right?"

"Yes'sir." I mumble and within a few minutes, I find myself near the porch with my hinderance knocking on the door before I could stop him. A familiar voice saying something before opening and the look on her face. I know I must look a mess, but I don't care. I run to embrace her without another thought.

"I was trying to protect us..." It's all I could say.

Cameo {RIP Charlie}
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Chasing away the past [KyVy] Apr 11, 2017 3:59:50 GMT -5

Post by Cameo {RIP Charlie} on Apr 11, 2017 3:59:50 GMT -5

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Discontent rattled my core as I watched from the window, as Ky strolled Mira down the sidewalk and Brooklyn clung to the handle in false belief that she was helping. The Doctor had prescribed two weeks of bedrest, to ensure that our little man growing inside of me would be safe and healthy. And of course Ky urged that relaxation would not occur with two Rascals screaming about, while she continued going to work. But as I endured their departure, rest did not settled upon me. When the little man was declared stable within me, I accepted that this time it was me pregnant again - except when I was demeaned in need of recovery, I once more despised the helplessness pregnancy labels me with.

Being the Protector of our family is my sole purpose in life. And as much as I love our developing addition to our family; I would do a much better job sheltering him, along with our other loved ones, if he was sheltered within Ky’s stomach. What good was I at home, while the others were out in the potentially threatening streets of District Two? What if Claude had returned to continue his revenge upon Ky? Needless to say, rest did not consume me those fourteen days - but rather exhaustion and fear did.

- - -

“Well look who decided to return to work! We were certain you were busted for doing drugs!” Perry teases the moment I enter the Gym after that gruesome two weeks. “Would have been a shame to find another Trainer.” A taunting voice continues to linger in his words, though his lips curl in respect rather then mockery.

“Shut the frack up Perry. I know Ms. Ruze told you guys I had another injury with that damn same knee.” But a playful tone intertwines with my remark, simply grateful to be back within this sweaty-socks aroma of the training Center. And thankfully Ky assured me she blamed my absence on my knee, refraining from informing them of the pregnancy until I was ready to do so. Just no going into the Ring, was her only condition. And far from ready to reveal the damn truth I’m still struggling to swallow, a baggy shirt conceals such. “Plus I doubt there’s a better Trainer then me within this District. I’ve survived far more then an Arena.” Unfortunately, that’s too true for comfort.

“Surviving in a house with Ms. Ruze doesn’t sound that difficult.” Joshua chuckles with a wink, causing laughter to seep from Perry and Rodrick as well.

Instinctively a nearby towel spins in my possession, and I snap at the daring Joshua’s leg. “Say another thing about her again and I will kick your ass.” My pitch is still humorous, while my features warn him to refrain from such comments - and his returning expression illustrates his regret. Only I am allowed to tease Kyanite.

A moment later, Perry breaks the silence once more and he cautiously steps towards me… to envelope me in a hug. “We did miss you though.” Even the other two join, and I’m surrounded by their filthy stench. There’s an urge to return the kindness; but my arms remain around my torso to prevent anyone from discovering my secret, and in fear of anyone aside from Kyanite to touch my precious development again.

“Ew. Okay, enough with the sap girls. We have a lot of training to catch up.” The jokes strive on. And a few gentle shoves disapprove of me taunting their kindness. Nonetheless they comply though, and the normal routine begins once again.

- - -

My three precious Girls returned home in a mere few hours, though my fear carried it to feel like days. Bags creased under my eyes from constant days of feeding this anxiety, and sleepless nights of panicking that the worst may arise again. But once that beautiful Brunette walked through the door with our daughters, and shined her breathtaking chocolate eyes upon me, I faked a smile just for them. Dinner was nearly finished in the kitchen, and I hid how much I despised the person I had to be over those two weeks.

“Of course I’ve been resting as the Doctor told me to do. But I didn’t want you to have to make dinner after you’ve been working all day, and I’ve been doing nothing at home.” I lied to her, exactly how we’ve both been facading to each other. Terror had been plaguing us both, yet neither of us desired to show it. A soft kiss caressed her lips, pleased that at least another gruesome day had ended. Only another week was chaining me to the wife duties I despised, but felt personally obligated to do.

- - -

Another lap around the Gym is necessary, as I witness my boys sprint at a pace I’m far from fond of. “Come on ladies! I’m gone for two weeks and you boys get weak?!” My hands clap in encouragement for them to increase their endurance. “Rodrick, sprint up to Ms. Ruze’s office and tell her I’ll be home in a couple hours. Clearly we need to make up for loss time.” Is requested, especially since the joy of being back here is finally bringing me back to my normal self.

“Yes, Ma’am.” He nods in my direction, and moves his path towards the doors. His speed slows down rapidly as he views my facial reaction though. “Sir.” He corrects himself, creating a grin across my cheeks. A mere two weeks and they’ve forgotten my requirements? And with the hidden pregnancy encircling my stomach, it’s crucial I maintain some masculinity.

“You know, it looks like you got a little chunky over those two weeks yourself.” Perry continues with our teasing manner, though this one drains the color from my face - while my stern expression refutes to budge.

Is it already becoming obvious? No… He has to be joking. “Excuse me?” Softly sparks past my lips, like a dangerous snake coyly approaching it’s prey. A speechless Perry stares back at me. “Five more laps, shall we? Lets see who’s faster; The Trainer’s been recovering from an injury, or the Trainees who should have still been training in her absence.” I challenge, and together we sprint off.

- - -

The truth nauseated myself to spill it. I had to. It felt as though speaking of such would make it true, while keeping it in was destroying me internally. My heavy eyes refuted from altering my gaze from the Beauty beside me, as we laid in bed beside each other. “Staying at home is killing me, Ky…” I finally delivered ghastly thoughts that have been sickening my head. “I can’t live with the idea that I’m not always there to protect you… that even if I was always there…” That I can no longer protect her as I used to.

Awkwardly I shifted to my back, to stare upon the ceiling above. “This is why I can’t… couldn’t swallow the idea of me being pregnant.” My palms ran down my face, and rubbed awake the eyes that were pleading for long waited slumber. “Just promise me you’ll stay around a populated area whenever you go out? And once this little Man is born, I’ll murder those fracken bastards.” I made a promise of my own.

But before I could assure she promised me my request, exhaustion had it’s way with me. “I love you.” Was the only thing I managed to whisper out, before the sandman took me under… and more nightmares plagued me that night, purely to prepare me for the nightmare I was about to awake to.

- - -

Every step increases the pain across my knee that really can’t handle such, though the race is far too enjoyable to break from. The last time I ran like this it was towards the unbearable trauma that Ky & I were forced to suffer in. Desperate, yet satisfying, heaves expand my lungs in a luscious sting. A cocky smirk plasters across my lips, as I maintain the lead upon my Trainees. And finally, I cross the end of the lap first.

“Who… were you.. calling… chunky?” I manage to say through my sharp inhales, that are attempting to regulate my breathing. Out of breath laughter crumbles us all to the floor, mutually relieved that things are back to normal.

“Okay, okay, I was kidding!” Perry recoils his comment, as we’re all too amazingly exhausted to get up just yet. “Glad to have you back, Pryce.” The appreciation my Trainees contain for having me as their ruthless, teasing Trainer is unimaginably heartwarming. Are things actually getting better?

“Damn, what did I miss?” Rodrick chuckles over the fact that we’re all sprawled out across the Gym floor, his pitch slightly disappointed over his absence of this. “Ms. Ruze asked if you could go to the Market before you go home.” He informs, and decides to join us on the ground as well.

“We ran five laps in the time it took you to go to the Nurses’ wing?” I taunt, nudging his arm in playful dissatisfaction. “Alright, Youngsters - lets do some knife target practice, and some hand-to-hand spares, before I have to get back home to the Family.” Is instructed, while I push myself into a sitting position. Before I’d jump to my feet, and offer a hand to the others - while this time it’s Perry who lends me a pull to a stance.

“The family, huh?” He grins in his tease.

“Oh, like you ladies didn’t already know.” Now that I can admit proudly, and with one mere shove I nearly send Perry back to the ground. “Come on! Let’s not keep Ms. Ruze waiting for me! Maybe one of these days I’ll have her show you guys some tricks with throwing knifes.” I tempt, which receives surprised expression back. Of course my Queen is more then just a skilled nurse!

- - -

“Kyanite?” A plead escaped my scratchy throat. The familiar texture of the unforgiving floor of Shed cradled my Being. Agonizing pain returned in tenfolds, as I found myself powerless upon the ground. “Kyanite!” My bones sobbed for me to get up, while my muscles declined any such actions. The sound of Claude’s laughter carves against my eardrums. And next it’s the rattling, heart aching, unbearable sound of Ky’s scream. “Kyanite!”

A light beamed against my unadjusted vision. The door of the shed had silently bursted open, and I was forced to stare up to Claude’s vicious face. “You can’t protect her.” He roared in his laugh. “You’re weak, and pregnant. Pathetic.” My eyes were brought down to his feet, where Kyanite laid behind - beaten and bloody. “She would have been better off without you. You killed her.”

“Kyanite!” I screamed, as I rapidly sat up in bed - sweat pouring down my face and soaking my entire body. Seconds of stillness consumed me, as I attempted to catch my breath - and awaited to hear if I accidentally awoken the little ones. “Kyanite?” And that’s when further fear panicked me, as I gazed to her side of the bed… to realize she’s not there.

- - -

“That’s all, thank you.” A gentle smile is given to the Salesclerk, as I exchange money for the produce my family’s in need of.

Those heels, that solely belong in a nightclub, alert me of her presence before she even speaks. “Vanity has manners now? Wow. What else has Kyanite programed you with?” Brittany questions, and immediately I’m casually wandering in the opposite direction of her. But of course she follows. “What you don’t have time for your Mother any more? I must say it was quite nice to have my Granddaughters over for a night… I can call Mira that now, since Brooklyn calls Kyanite Mama now, right? I always knew you’d fail as a Mother.” Then suddenly, I can’t simply ignore her.

“What the frack did you just say?!” I bark at her viciously, demanding an explanation.

“Kyanite just seems a lot more nurturing then you ever could be.” And of course she directs the conversation to an answer I’m not in need of.

“Not that!” I yell at her, instinctively getting into her face before she has a chance to get into my own. “Brooklyn and Mira were never at your House!”

“Why, yes they were. When you and Kyanite were in the Hospital. The daycare called me to care for the two sweethearts. And of course your impolite Girlfriend rudely picked them up, when I was only trying to help.” I’m left speechless by my Mother’s words. I don’t want to believe her. Yet Kyanite never did tell me where the Girls spent the night after that terrifying day that landed us in the hospital. I just assumed it they were with Matthew. “And just like I told her - you’re unfit to be a Mother. I will get Brooklyn under my custody. So hopefully you two lovebirds will be content with just Mira as your Child.”

I begin to sway, like a month ago when I found out I was pregnant, threatening to plummet in darkness of passing out because I can’t fathom what’s happening. Kyanite… Why would she… “Stay the frack away from my family.” I warn, while my shoulder pushes against my Mother’s as I pass her; infuriatingly headed for the one who’s provided me a lack of truth.

- - -

There was desperate need to destress. Instantly bolts of pain were shooting through my stomach. I had to collect my breathing. One of the Girls probably woke up, and Ky was tending to them. I had to convince myself of this, yet I was unable to. Hastily I stumbled off the bed, and rushed towards the Girls’ room. But the silence dreadfully informed me of what I was fearing. Her soft lullaby wasn’t easing a Rugrat to sleep. A light didn’t glisten from the bathroom. My heart was racing; and the little man returned worsening cramps across my midsection, as he to was desperate for his other mom.

They took her from me again. And I’d never be able to experience another happy day without her.

A knock rumbled across the House from the front door, and I nearly collapsed down the stairs in my surge to answer it. His face instinctively lifted my knuckles to attack, while her face instantly eases my adrenaline. A moment later she was secured in my arms once more. “Where… the frack… have you been?” I managed to speak through my panicked breathing, that was trying to calm down.

“Your Girlfriend tried to burn down the Shed you two were held captive in.” Charles informed rather instantly. As the Brother of Claude I couldn’t trust him, even if he did save us from the torture. But when he returned Ky safely back home to me? The trust was slowly growing.

“Kyanite…” My pitch was half disappointed, and half relieved that she at least made it home without getting caught. “Why the frack would you do that?” The adrenaline from a minute earlier hungered to rebuild, while I was simply thankful she was back in my arms. “I’m supposed to do that stupid stuff remember?” I cocooned my face within her hair, concentrating on the scent only she pertains.

- - -

Resisting slamming the door takes a lot. Rage fuels the stream of blood through my veins. First she attempts to burn down where we were held hostage on her own; and now she’s lying to me of where our Girls were when we were in the Hospital? Have I become a damsel that can’t even be informed of what’s going on? Not only can I not be included, but not even told? I expected others to treat me differently when they discovered I was pregnant - but for Kyanite to…

The bag of groceries carelessly drops to my side, as I stare at the Brunette in disbelieve. “When…” I’m unable to even formulate the words. “When were you going to tell me?” For just a mere second I pause, trying to give her a moment to be truthful, but I can’t wait. “When were you going to tell me that Brittany took the Girls while we were in the Hospital!” The entire walk home I tried to prepare myself, to not raise my voice and be calm for the little man within me. But already the volume’s increasing.

“I feared that I would be seen as weak again… But for… for you to see me that way.” My head shakes back in forth, dumbstruck, my voice not as loud as it was before - though not for long, never for long. “I can’t believe you Kyanite.” The sound begins to raise once more. “I never kept anything from you when you were pregnant! I can’t believe you would keep something like this from me!” There’s a vital desire to walk back out, to run as far as my weak knee can carry me. Yet I can’t budge from my spot, from this horrific, inconceivable situation.

So Many Different Personalities

*
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They'll either want to kill you, kiss you, or be you.

Chasing away the past [KyVy] Apr 12, 2017 15:27:44 GMT -5

Post by * on Apr 12, 2017 15:27:44 GMT -5

Brooklyn's puzzle didn't last much longer. Yawns enveloped her tiny mouth and sleepy eyes began to overtake her features. Those eyes that resemble her mother so much that I couldn't resist loving every part of this little one. She is her mother made over in so many ways, but she does enjoy a little bit more of girly things that Vy does not. My heart yearns to keep her safer than Mira. Mira will always forever be loved and taken care of by both me and her father and her other mommy. Brooklyn, though, has a history that seems to follow her. She has just Vy to watch over her and now me with Mira. Her heart will never know heartache ever again; even as a child. She will thrive knowing that she will get anything she ever deserves and wants. That her mother will make sure that she will obtain the highest level of training as well. No one will ever do anything to her.

I'll make sure of that.

"Is Brookie tired? You ready to go to sleep like Mira?" I question her and she shakes her head in defiance. I grin as much as I possibly can knowing that she will be leaving the waking world soon herself, but to push her over the edge next? At least she isn't the screaming one.

"Can you read, Kyky?" She asks, standing up and acting as though a drunk for a moment by swaying one step catching her balance. I raise my eyebrows and point to a book in the corner forgotten by Mira's wondering mind. She notices it and her tiny legs run over without even me having to say something to her.

"Come over here and sit with me then, Brooklyn. We'll read it together." She returns with the parcel of papers, and her hands clammer to get a grip on my pants to pull herself up and I help along the way. Cuddles are given before any book is opened. My arms encircle her tiny body and my lips touch her cheeks with a sudden 'POP' to pretend I took a giant smack.

"Ah! Kyky! My cheek!" She teases back, pushing a hand to her skin and then nestling against my bosom. I start to rock.

----

Decisions were made and without Charles showing up, I know that my fate could have been worse. With each step toward Vy, I began to regret everything. I regret walking out on her. I regret walking through the night completely disreguarding my safety. I can't believe that I had the audacity to think that I could solve it by myself. Her arms surrounded me. Her nose caressing my hair as she took me into her loving embrace without any further judgements except that I was alive.

"Where... the frack... have you been?" The truth is expelled, casting out my reasoning to her. Protection for her and for the life of the little person inside her tummy was my sole purpose. Tears began to leak down my cheek. Uncertainty for what was to come was weighing heavily on my emotions.

"Your girlfriend tried to burn down the shed you two were held captive in."

I shake my head and cower into her embrace. I don't want to talk about it any more. I can already hear the racing heartbeats that pump blood through her body. The stress of my welcomed return having consequences on her already. Is our little peapod alright?

"I thought - you'd understand." I mumble to her and it's as if she truely does understand by claiming her the only recipient of doing stupid things in life. No more words could seem to come out. I just wanted her to hold me and to chase away the past, but easier said then done.

--------------

"And she folded the end of the paper, sat it down and gently kissed her child to sleep." The unscripted words danced on snoring sounds. Breaths seemed to even out the quiet house once again as another child slipped into an unconscious state taking dreams along to soothe the long awaited rest. Her forehead seemed empty, with her hair smoothed back after count pets. So, with a kiss planted on dainty skin, her legs are scooped up into my arms and her head lolls over into a comfortable position.

"Brooklyn. You are such a good girl. I love you so much." Whispers are spoken and once again, the trip up the stairs is taken with gentle steps to avoid awaking the now sleeping child. Mira's tiny scuttles are heard when I enter, seeing her snoozing peacefully, her bottom now angled upward and her face squished against the mattress. I shake my head at the sight of it all. I'm not sure how children can sleep in such awkward states, but whatever makes her happy and keeps her sleeping, I'm not going to complain one tiny bit. As for Brooklyn, I bend down to her toddler bed and let her head touch the pillow. A groan escapes her as her fingers automatically reach out for something and a stuffed animal is immediately placed within her grasp and the snoring commences just moments later.

A sigh of relief.

A look of love passes from Brooklyn to Mira. Both children sleeping and the thought of a nap myself seems to pass my mind. Vy won't be home for a little while longer but adult duties are to come first. "Dinner..." I mumble as I remember the message I had sent along to her to bring something home from the market. Good thing to come from it, I don't have to cook just yet. The door is left halfway open to the sleeping babies and the stairs leading to the living are taken with lax.

"Now, I can relax. Mira wore me out." I plop down in the chair and stare at the door. Eerie silence cripples the house.

-----

The sound of keys slipping into the door jolt me. Time slipped away so precariously that I never noticed that so much of it had slipped away. I look immediately to the clock to notice the time and three hours have passed by. Three hours without a peep from the girls and Vy's presence never woke me. No smells of food from her doing a surprise dinner or attempts at starting a supper.

"Vy?" I question as the key seems to have not unlocked the door yet and then a knock assaults the door like no other. Precautions have to be taken. "Who's there?" I bring on a darker tone; one demanding of an answer.

Nothing.

"Who's there? If you don't answer, I will report to the authorities." My stomach turns into knots and then silence kills the mood. It would make sense not to approach the door, but curiosity always seems to get the better of me and I find myself at the door, looking through the peephole to see a figure standing there. A figure of a man -

"No...

----

My eyes open to the same scene in front of me. The quiet house and ticking clocks. Only, the clock barely has moved but by a few minutes and I stand without another moment to push me back into the nightmares that I find ever so present to scare me.

"I guess cleaning would make Vy happy. Better than..." My heart pounds in my ears. My mind still trickling with the dream. I go to retrieve the duster and without knowing it, Vy's presence gifts the house and when I return, a small jump of fear makes my heart race.

"You scared me." I tell her when I get a good look of her face. Something isn't right. The bag of groceries in her hands drops the floor, one of the bags expelling the contents as if the actions were brought on by a bad summon.

"When... when were you going to tell me?" She questions. Did something happen at the center I forgot to tell her about? Or did a student get hurt... or expelled? Did I do something wrong that I can't remember? Was it something I didn't tell her about the other night?

"What do you mean, Vy? I tell you everything?" I press and walk forward to start picking up the groceries that are scattered on the ground. No sooner do I get an apple back in the bag, does she suddenly come up with something that I had infact forgot to tell her - rather, didn't want her knowing and for good reason.

"When were you going to tell me that Brittany took the girls while we were in the hospital?" If I could become a ghosty, I would simply disapparate in front of her and disappear without a trace. Only, I can't and I'm stuck staring into the face of the woman I love with all my heart keeping a secret away from her that I never should have. It was... wrong. It was alright right.

"Vy..."

"I feared that I would be seen as weak again... but for... for you to see me that way." I shake my head and reach for her hand to take it into my own to try to reason with her. To tell her that it was to keep her safe and to keep our little peapod resting.

"Vy - Please. Don't think ill of me. I can't stand the though that..."

I can't beleive you, Kyanite. I never kept anything from you when you were pregnant! I can't beleive you would keep something like this from me!"

My heart stammers.

My palms clench up with nerves as I try to figure out a way through this when she will probably walk away from me. "I'm sorry." Its the only words that could seem to muster up. Vy was demanding for truth for so many questions both spoken and unspoken. Why didn't I tell her that her mother had kidnapped the kids? Why I had to physically remove our children from that house. Why I threatened her mother that day that if she ever did that again, that I would have the peacekeepers there in a heartbeat. Jeran woudn't stand for it, and I know it.

"I thought that I was protecting you. You didn't need to know. I had it taken care of. I didn't need help taking care of our girls." It wasn't like I had a choice on who was to be babysitting. We were both incapable of childcare with both of us being in the hospital. "Gala's the one who told me that they had been picked up when I went to go get them."

A blame comes next without notice. "Brittany... took them from the daycare. I thought you took her off the pickup list? and if you didn't, which that would explain it, why didn't you? I don't have any idea how in ripred's name she could get Mira though. Mira doesn't even share blood with that woman."

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Chasing away the past [KyVy] Apr 12, 2017 23:02:33 GMT -5

Post by Cameo {RIP Charlie} on Apr 12, 2017 23:02:33 GMT -5

It feels as though every bone in my body is frozen in disbelieve - stiff and unbudging in desperation to not be in this situation. Is this the deer’s perspective, in the phrase ‘deer in headlights’? Only have I ever experienced such from the headlight’s point of view. Muscles are rattling to retreat from the situation, while no limb budges to do so. Vision remains glaring into Kyanite’s Being, my irises pleading for her to tell me that Brittany must have provided me false information… not that she herself, the sole person I’m forever deeply in love with, has been the one to lie to me. But to heartache’s consequence, I don’t expect relief.

“What do you mean, Vy? I tell you everything?” If only I could convince myself of this, that she’s not fibbing to me once again. Unaware of the secrets that have been revealed, she approaches me to collect the fallen grocery items back into the bag; And even as she does so, my eyes remain blankly in front of me - unable to alter from my initial stare ahead. For the first time in our existence of knowing each other, I want to coil from her. Yet still I’m a statue. Purely my moving lips, and flowing words, alert of my presence in reality.

- - -

Immediately my heart began to calm from it’s rapid stuttering the moment I witnessed my beautiful Brunette’s safety. And as her exterior formed against my own, the cramps subsided as if the little man could feel his other Mother’s closeness. Instincts intertwined through my veins to be furious with her attempt; yet the positive adjustments, this woman performed over the years on my heart, wouldn’t allow for such. Blame couldn’t evoke, as I connected that she was only seeking to protect us - no matter how foolish her strategy was.

Fingers clenched the fabric of her shirt’s back, unwilling to ever release from my hold on her. It felt as she had gone into battle for months, with no guarantee of return, and had finally returned. With the varies cruel events we’ve been through, occasionally it seemed as though every day was years of war. But she was within my shield once more, and complaints couldn’t arise even if they should. Plus it’d be hypocritical to scold her for something I would have done.

“So she was preventing you from doing something stupid? By doing it herself?” Charles assumed, with a comical tone of accusation. Again my head shook back and forth within Kyanite’s alluring locks. A soft chuckle even seeped past my lips, simply satisfied that no danger followed my Queen. She was lucky, just as she usually is.

After another moment my face breached from the comfort of her gentle hair, though my arms never accepted releasing her. “No… Guess I’ve just been a bad influence.” I answered his rhetorical charge of reason. She better not be substituting in my position of this family just because I’m pregnant. It’s still my job to be the overprotective and reckless one.

- - -

Delicate fingers dare to reach for my grasp; possibly in attempt to assure me of this innocent misunderstanding. But instantly the rough skin of my hand, from far too many physical altercations, is drawing back in defense. The entire Panem appears foreign to my heart. Always it’s been her touch that soothes me from the cruelty of reality. While now it’s that very person, who belongs to that nurturing touch, who’s blinding me from the perfection I thought we held together within this overwhelming existence.

How could she possibly do this to me? Sight is tunnel-visioned before me. Undesired warmth radiates from Ky’s closeness, and still I can’t even take a simple step away. “Vy - Please. Don’t think ill of me. I can’t stand the thought that…” She’s disturbed by the idea of what I think of her?! She knew of my fears of being pregnant, and yet she still does this to me! This is far worse then the entire district viewing me as weak! Evidently someone can know another’s worries, without understanding them. And my distaste doesn’t shy from volume.

Reactions collapse within words, growing in loudness and intensity as each disbelieve crumbles past my tongue. “I’m sorry.” Responds to my scorn, allowing a sigh to escape from my chest. That should be enough. That should declare that she understands now, and we’ll simply flourish from here. But though I no longer have an itching to shout my discontent, angered pain still courses through my muscles. At least now the numbness is fading, an ability to move is slowly coming suit - while still not an inch of me shifts.

- - -

“Just refrain from being stupid again, please.” Charlie advised to the both of us, which automatically had my eyebrows creasing in an expression of confusion. Finally I released Ky from my protective hold, while my fingers remained intertwined with hers’. “It’s already been a struggle to keep them from going after you two again.” Is admitted to the wrong people, Kyanite and I. Simultaneously my features transferred into a guarding manner, threatened by the warning he’s given us.

“Excuse me?” Immediately I had to pry for more information.

“Relax, I can handle them.” He attempted to retract his words, to no avail. “Just don’t evoke them any further.”

“They evoked us! And I can handle them to!” I growled, infuriated by the suggestion that he didn’t see me as intimidating. For a mere second I had wished that Ky was successful in burning that damn shed down. Only for a second though, as I couldn’t withstand the idea of her being caught by someone else.

“Perhaps both of you could. But it’d probably be best to prevent you two from having to. Guessing another occurrence of last week wouldn’t be good.” Again with the suggestions that had my skin crawling. “Now if you two will excuse me. And to no offense, I hope to never see you two again.” Maybe he didn’t like us, or that chaos erupted from our encounters. But either way the night was allowed to settle once more. And my eyes didn’t shut for the rest of those dark hours, in fear of them opening to a cold bed again.

- - -

“I thought that I was protecting you. You didn’t need to know. I had it taken care of. I didn’t need help taking care of our girls.” Spirals from her lips in a way that only bruises my heart more. Further I’m left speechless to this circumstance. The information Brittany provided already mentally slaughtered me. But to hear this type of reasoning? “Gala’s the one who told me that they had been picked up when I went to go get them.” Because leaving our Girls’ safety in the hands of a twelve year old is so much better!

I’m left flabbergasted. A pure scream wants to roll through my throat, though somehow I refrain. “So you don’t need help taking care of our girls anymore?! Then what fracken use am I?!” Of course my ability to abstain from an actual yell doesn’t lower my shouting though. “How about I just pop out this third kid then, and you can take care of them all on your own! I’ll go back to the damn Keeper’s Academy since I’m not fracken needed!” Is offered from an irrational perspective.

Then the unthinkable combs into my ears, to leave slashes in it’s wake. “Brittany… took them from the daycare. I thought you took her off the pickup list? and if you didn’t, which that would explain it, why didn’t you? I don’t have any idea how in ripred’s name she could get Mira though. Mira doesn’t even share blood with that woman.” My eye twitches from so many numerous causes.

“That woman.” Is repeated from my own voice, far too quietly for any good to come from it. “Because the Daycare thought we’re all a family! Just like I thought we are! But clearly Brooklyn & I aren’t worthy enough! Because we share blood with that fracken bitch!” Steam might as well be spewing from my ears. Least movement has finally privileged me; as my fingers run through my hair, and I turn from the one who’s horrifically shocking me beyond comprehension.

Any minute now I’ll do something I’d regret, it’s testing every fiber of my being. But the words that protrude is something entirely different, something that I can’t hold back. “But clearly I’m just like that evil woman, because I forgot to take her off the pickup list! It’s all my fracken fault, right?! I don’t even give a shit that it happened, Kyanite! But that you didn’t fracken tell me!” I can’t even gaze to the breathtaking Face that graced me with her light in the dark reality that used to suffocate me… the dark reality that’s slowly creeping back, because she’s unexpectedly pained me more then my Mother ever could.

“But you care! Of course you care! That’s why you didn’t tell me! So what is it, Kyanite?! Am I weak pregnant chick that can’t handle anything?! Or a monster you want to blame for everything?!” Without any power over myself, my knuckles ram into the nearest wall. And without another thought, the nip of outside’s temperature bites at my skin and I’m slamming the door behind me. What I wouldn’t give for a beer and pub brawl right now. But of course I simply stand their baffled, heavy breaths consuming my lungs, and with uncertainty of what to do next.

So Many Different Personalities

*
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Chasing away the past [KyVy] Jun 6, 2017 23:34:45 GMT -5

Post by * on Jun 6, 2017 23:34:45 GMT -5

Taking care of our girls was my worry and my burden that day. Making sure that they were taken care of and taken away from that evil woman that had to share the same dna with the child. No thoughts seemed to process the aftereffect. I just did what I had to at that exact moment. I guess now, I'm paying for it in the temperature of the volanic activity looming in front of me.

"That woman. Because the daycare thougth we're all a family! Just like I thought we are! But clearly Brooklyn and I arn't worthy enough! Becuase we share blood with that fracken bitch!"

Her cource tongue seems to give me whiplash with the harsh entity it withholds. The sting seems to be welting my entire body with each lashing but I stand accountable for my actions and what actions I didn't take to ensure she knew what happened. Despite my need to keep her ill-informed, it has reprocussions that I didn't want. Can't I just go back to being tortured in the shake instead of this?

Would that physical pain be enough to overlap this horrendous ordeal that is unraveling before me? -sigh-

Her fingers run through her hair. At least she's no longer a statue standing in front of me, boring holes into my forehead. "But clearly I'm just like that evil woman, because I forgot to take her off the pickup list! It's all my racken fault, right?! I don't even give a shit that it happened, Kyanite! But that you didn't fracken tell me!"

"No! You're not that evil woman and you never will be and maybe? Maybe it is your fault since you didn't take her off the list - unless you just never expected that she would do something like that? You know her - I don't..." And my mind is wanting to scream out that maybe she didn't think that it would put my daughter in danger too since she didn't. Then again, who knew she would actually take both.

"I"m sorry I didn't tell you. I also didn't think you'd find out." Remorse is obviously in my thoughts now that the issue has came out. I'm that kid that just got caught red handed. I do not miss those days at all.

"But you care! Of course you care! That's wh you didn't tell me! So what is it Kyanite?! Am I weak pregnant chick that can't handle anything?! Or a monster you want to blame for everything?"

I shrug slightly, fear settling into my mind to do anything at the moment. I feel my eyes wanting to draw away from her and everthing. Her volume having me feel like retreating like when my father barreled his anger out at me. I can't handle her being mad at me and the adrenaline seems to be putting my body into flight mode awareness befo...

*BOOM*

My eyes charge into the area where the noise came from. Vy's unusually quiet stance has been taken into motion with one easy jolt of anger against the wall - and not me. My breath seems lost to me all of a sudden as I just stare after Vy. Her legs carrying her away and out the door before I can blink, before I can catch my abscent breathe. My lip begins to quiver and my hand goes to cover my mouth as tears well up into my eyes. What did I just do? What has my actions, or lack thereof, caused for our relationship?

"Do... you... hate me now?" I mutter under my breath and my stomach churns with guilt and ridden with fear. There is no hatred toward her except the hatred that my words have caused.

"Kyky..."

I find my legs unable to move and I continue to stand as a statue like Vy before the words started to decorate the house with unholy echoes. A drop cascades down my cheek, slowly rolling until it hits the arch of my neck and it lingers -threatening to fall - until the voice calls out again.

"Kyky... Mira is crying. Why you fighting wif momma?" Her voice sounds so low compared to the hum of my own heartbeat crashing through my body. I shrug, breaking the vacant ability to move. I peer to the door expecting Vy to come back in, but I know she won't.

That's not her.

"Go back up the stairs. I'm... coming." And remnants of my tears are taken away and soaked into the leg of my jeans.

Terrible screams seem to interrupt any thought to replay the argument with Vy. She needs calming due to the loud uproar of the battle adn the moment she sees me, she doesn't even attempt to stop. "Mira-lu. Momma's here. Oh, what lungs you have. I just got you to sleep, too. Did my horrible roaring wake you up? I'm sorry." I try to grieve with her on lost sleep but my body just doesn't seem to want to cooperate. Instead, I find myself back at odds like before. The screaming in my ears is waning my patiences already.

"I help?" Brooklyn asks, and gently comes over to see about Mira's disposition and with one touch Mira shifts as if to say she don't want to be touched. I shake my head.

"Mira! Brooklyn's only trying to help." I scold subtly, however the tears are constantly flowing. Heat and wetness escape her head as I try to coddle her and bounce. Damnit Vy... you have no idea how much I needed her to sleep. I blame again, but I only rock harder and I turn to look for Brooklyn and she's suddenly gone. Though, I know she'll be okay. The house is childproof and Vy isn't far away. The charge in my arms is the one that needs to be calmed just as much as Vy is outside. Frustration wrinkles my forehead and my voice violently whispers to Mira to shush.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry." It's all I know how to say but it just doesn't work anymore.

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Chasing away the past [KyVy] Jun 9, 2017 18:23:21 GMT -5

Post by Cameo {RIP Charlie} on Jun 9, 2017 18:23:21 GMT -5

The rumble of the slamming door continues to ring against my senses, long after the sound has faded. Without a second thought I’ve separated my Love and myself with the thickness of a physical wall. A gentle breeze brushes against me, while it’s refreshing air supplies my lungs with a intently needed break. The dark, quieting street occupies my stare, while it’s solely the vision of Kyanite shrugging that’s viewed before me - claiming her uncertainty to whether i’m a helpless pregnant woman or a monstrous person. That very gesture has my legs itching to sprint off; to run away to where this mental challenge does not reside… yet I can’t, and I don’t.

“No! You’re not that evil woman and you never will be and maybe? Maybe it is your fault since you didn’t take her off the list - unless you never expected that she would do something like that? You know her - I don’t…” Such contradiction, that spewed from Ky’s voice, replays within my mind. So am I not an evil woman, who is still at fault? That riddled to be a catch twenty-two. And her latter statement confusingly irritates me even more so; as if I didn’t take my wicked Mother off of the pickup list, with pure knowledge that she might kidnap our children. Evidently the mistake of forgetting doesn’t compute within her forgiveness - while purposely refraining vital facts from a loved One seems far more wrong then forgetfulness.

Suddenly my feet bounce down the couple of steps to retract from the porch, and increase all the way to the end of the yard - before halting abruptly, as though an invisible fence has stopped me. All of this would have been avoided if I would have removed Brittany from the pickup list; but it’s not as though I intentionally kept her on it. If something were to happen to Kyanite & I, I’d much rather both of our Girls be left in the reckless, yet protective, hands of Matthew rather then my own Mother. Again my fingers comb through my hair, frustrating debate overtaking my mind.

Feet shift in the opposite direction, as I return to the front of our house. Of course I don’t immediately retract inside though, while anger still swims through my veins. The vicious cry of Mira’s alerts my hearing, as I listen to it distantly through the blockage of walls and stairs. Instincts tell me to go and assist, though my legs do not maneuver me in any such way. “I don’t have any idea how in ripred’s name she could get Mira though. Mira doesn’t even share blood with that woman.” More of Ky’s words repeat from earlier within my thoughts, causing me to solely sit upon the steps to the front porch. Is Mira the only person she cares about? It’s the last thing I want to believe, yet the brutal voice within my mind is plaguing that idea upon me.

Once more impulse gets the best of me, and the same knuckles carve into a fence post beside me. A somewhat growl noise slivers through my clenched teeth, agony consuming my hand from the second unpadded round of punching. “Mama?” It’s then that I hear the faint calling from within the House, past the closed door - and I only cover my face within my palms. “Mama?” Sounds again, and a sigh escapes from my tensed chest. A second more before I release the front door to reveal my location, though I do not breach from my seat.

“Over here, baby girl.” I relieve her of her worries, and she comes waddling over to me in an exhausted sway. Immediately I scoop her up within my arms, and across my lap - to reassure her that all is okay. Even at the mere age of three she’s smarter then that though, and knows that something isn’t right.

“Why you and Mommy Kyky fightings?” She questions all too innocently, sprawling out against my torso - probably in preparation to retreat back to her slumber soon. A shrug pierces my shoulders, with no desire to expose Brooklyn to this dilemma any further. Instead my fingers weave through her hair, in a coaxing to bring her to the sleep that she needs. But her curiosity always overrides anything else that’s contorting her, as she grabs my hand rather then the sandman’s. “You punch things more?” This wonder is more of a scolding. And how she remembers my history of punching things is beyond comprehension.

“Love makes people do crazy things, Sweetheart.” Is the only explanation I can conjure up.

Her eyebrows arch in a baffled manner. “But I loves yous, and Mommy Kyky… AND baby Mira. And I no punch things.” An attempt at understanding dances across her tongue. In response my lips clash into her forehead, adoring her youthful perception.

In truth, I love them all beyond limits - just as Brooklyn does. It takes her for me to realize such, but at least I eventually always will as long as her and Mira are within our life. For Brooklyn, for Mira, for Kyanite, and especially for myself, I can’t be without my beautiful Brunette; nor can I remain mad at her. “You’re right Brookie, I shouldn’t punch things because I’m mad at someone I love. Should we go help Mommy Ky put Mira back to sleep?” The little Blonde nods approval to my suggestion; and with her still cradled in my arms, I balance up to a stance, and we venture back inside.

“I do punch things when kids be mean at daycare.” Brooklyn admits, and I attempt to not encourage such with the chuckles that are urging me. “It better den punching them!” She reassures as if reading my expression.

My head shakes back and forth . Why must she be so much like me? “We’ll have to have Mommy Ky teach you better copping methods.” I note out loud, since that’s not really my specialty. Light giggles seep past her vocals, as she wraps her arms around my neck in a tired hug.

“Need some help in here?” I offer, once we’re within the doorway - and I’m leaning against it’s frame. While I wait for a sign of approval, I cocoon Brooklyn into her toddler bed. “It’s time for everyone to get back to sleep. I promise no more yelling.” Is an assurance for everyone, though my eyes are directed towards Brooklyn. And once Kyanite provides her acceptance of help, I relieve her of parenting duties.

At first Mira combats against the position she’s keen to know means sleep time, but I do not resist as well. And after a few wails of cries, she succumbs against my chest - with her head defeated against my shoulder. My hand continues to brush across her back in a soothing manner, as a gentle shh sings through my lips. “Still hate being woken up, huh? I understand Mira, sleep is precious.” My tone is entirely different from before, as I pursue a soft pitch to ensure her upcoming slumber.

A few huffs, and the occasional wine sobs from her, but it’s evident that sleep will take her soon. I lean against an opposite wall from where Kyanite sits, staring at her with an apologetic expression - while I further my coaxing of keeping Mira drifting off.

So Many Different Personalities

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Chasing away the past [KyVy] Jun 9, 2017 22:45:35 GMT -5

Post by * on Jun 9, 2017 22:45:35 GMT -5

The wailing of the child in my arms puts my nerves to their breaking point. I was already exhausted from earlier. I had already tried to put myself into a calmer state of mind by trying to take a nap and it ended in nightmares that woke me up with a start. It seems that something is wanting to make this day into one of the worst every time I turn around. Each time, it keeps getting worse than before. What a horrible day this turned out to be. I repeat in my head. The words though get drowned out by the flood of tears and the sound of the thunderous hatred from the tiny tot from being woken from her slumber.

"Mira. Mira. It'll be okay. I'm trying, baby girl. I'm really trying. I'm sorry that your father isn't around anymore to put you to sleep. Is that why you are so mad anymore? Because I'm not him? Because I don't have the strength to endure your sleep fits? Everything else I do is good enough?" I feel like a horrible mother right now. I can neither calm my baby nor get her to sleep without a battle for consciousness every time. The only other person that's good with her nightly routine is Vy and at the moment, I'm not even sure if she's still near.

"Ma. Ma. Ma." Echoes from Mira's mouth and the sound is adorable, hearing my name being wailed over and over, but the constant drumming of her high pitched screech seems to put me into a stupor. I barely even notice that I've made it back and forth in her room so many times that the carpet must have a line in it. That Brooklyn's attempt to gain her mother's attention has her standing at the doorframe suddenly.

"Need some help in here?" She asks and as stubborn as I am, It actually takes me a few moments to contemplate why she even wants to be back in the same room with me. Then again, she's halfway caused this banshee to unleash her tantrum. I turn away from her at first trying to calm and soothe my little mini me and end up watching in the corner of my eyes how Vy keeps staring at me.

"Fine. Try... I'm having no luck." I chew on my bottom lip. I squint my eyes for a moment and stop bouncing. I watch how she takes Brooklyn to bed. Mira's hand suddenly slings upward toward my face, her paper thin nails squeezing tight against my cheek. I take her hand away quickly and bring my lips to touch the top of her hand. "Love you."

Vy's presence now graces me with a little less tension between us. However, Mira's no less happy in her arms then she was mine. She continues to fight, arching her back to get out of her grip but Vy's much stronger than she is and manipulates her body to mold her into a comfortable position.

My fingers graze over the spot where her tiny fingers pinched my skin. The tingling of my arms being free from the weight of the child. I sigh heavily and without any more use of myself except to watch, I sit down on the floor of the nursery and lean my back against the wall - legs outstretched.

My hero. I think to myself as I watch my woman deal with the calming child. It's perfect to watch the way she's able to handle Mira like Matthew could somehow. She's got her already down an octave and her arms are no longer fighting to break skin at the earliest occurence. Minutes pass by, and within no more than six, Mira's whole world has finally sunk into the depths of the slumberland once again. So, I glance to Brooklyn, who's eyes are just tiny open slits but her chest rises and falls just like it does when she's sleeping.

Once again, the house is quiet and now the silence is deafening between Vy and I.

Is our battle over or is it going to cause a rift in our relationship for the first time?

"Thank you." I mouth the words to her, a corner of my lip upturning to show my appreciation for her coming to help even though I didn't deserve it at all. Vy's expression toward me tells me that she's sorry or that she wants to make it all go away. Our fight is the first of its kind for us and I already can tell that I don't like what I see and how I feel about it. I had fights with Matthew all the time that always ended up in screaming matches and now look where we are at?

My stomach drops at that thought and so do my eyes. Is this a repeat of my last relationship? Will we continue to fight just as me and Matthew had?

I stand and press against the wall for a moment until I have my footing. Only then, when I see that Mira's completely asleep and no longer going to cause any more rukus in the house and Brooklyn happily sleeping away, I take my leave from the room. Vy can put Mira to bed and I'll give the girls kisses after Vy's put them away for the night.

The light floods my bedroom. It exposes an unmade bed with two pillows. They match, but Vy's is much flatter than mine is however they have the same pillowcases on them. The comforter takes up so much more room on Vy's side than mine. "There." I say as I straighten the bedding and then sit, drawing my hands into my lap, clasped together and my mind reeling with memories of the events that lead to my breakup with the father of my child.

"What did I do so wrong by not telling her? I was only trying to protect her. I did that to Matthew, too. We fought... we broke up several times. I was just trying to protect them-" Whispers come out to justify my own actions not knowing that someone was standing in the doorway. Instead, I keep fighting with my actions until I realize something. "I shouldn't have blamed her for her mother's actions. Damnit. Why do I keep repeating the same mistakes again?"

Last Edit: Jun 9, 2017 23:03:21 GMT -5 by *

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Chasing away the past [KyVy] Jun 10, 2017 22:43:39 GMT -5

Post by Cameo {RIP Charlie} on Jun 10, 2017 22:43:39 GMT -5

A gentle rhythm bounces my arms in attempt to further Mira into her slumber. The silence of Babies drifting to dreamland carol my senses where the nightmares of loud fighting once resided. Even with Mira’s vigorous resistance to following the Sandman once more, I’d choose the difficulties of Parenting over arguing with Ky any day. Sighs seep from my lungs as they collapse from the tiny Brunette within my arms. Her struggle has subsided and it’s as though we’re all relieved over her acceptance to calm, even Mira herself. Of course she doesn’t immediately crumble into shuteye though, and I sit on the floor opposite to Kyanite in a patient wait.

Fingers continue to encircle around her back, as she subtly allows the heaviness of her eyes. It’s far too soon to check if exhaustion has overtaken her yet, and risk the disturbance of this peace. Instead I don’t move a muscle out of the dance of bedtime; my eyes solely studying Kyanite - as if searching for her current perception from all that’s happened. Does she wish riddance of my now? Sure I’m assistance to baby crises, but I’m also certainly the one that had awoken the Rugrat in the first place.

‘Thank you,’ quietly sculpts across Kyanite’s lips - providing a generous sign that all hope is not to be lost. A nod softly envelopes my head, along with a smile as if to reply ‘any time;’ because this can’t be the last time. This fight will not be the end of us. Before I had only ever fought with Brittany, and those occurrences were beyond different. Fighting with Kyanite is physically painfully.

My eyes follow Kyanite as she breaches from the floor, and travels to an exit from the nursery. “I’m going to wait here a little - avoid waking her up because I put her down too soon.” I whisper to her, with a tone that contains no trace of the anger I pertained before. My vision continues to gaze at the beautiful Brunette, until she’s disappeared from my sight - and another sigh releases from my tensed chest. I don’t think I can ever handle a second altercation with her; when did I become so soft?

Earlier life appears miserable to the style I pertain now. Purely alcohol, brawls, and arguments with Brittany occupied my existence before - along with the occasional motherhood with the precious Daughter I played off as my Sister. Now there’s no embarrassment over having a Child, or Children with the inclusion of Mira who I love just as dearly. The family I’ve somehow been lucky enough to gain has transformed my life in ways words cannot explain. And now that I’m recollecting on such, I’m only embarrassed in myself for not being better for them.

It was Brittany to teach me to always resort to anger, and to punch anything or anyone. It was Brittany that made my life unbearable. And now it’s Brittany that’s causing me to fight with the one I’m incredibly in love with. How can I allow her such power? I’m disgusted by myself with the mere thought. Unable to wait another second to reunite with Kyanite, I cross my fingers in the hope that placing Mira in her crib now will not reawaken the tantrum. My breath is held, as I cautiously ease her down - slowly pealing her from my chest, in fear that any sudden movement may cause the break. And with the silence that follows, I tiptoe from the Nursery - after kissing each adorable forehead of course.

Soft words welcome me into the hallway, in which I somehow catch. “I was only trying to protect her. I did that to Matthew, to. We fought… we broke up several times. I was just trying to protect them-“ Even before her beauty’s gracing my vision, I know that she’s talking to herself - and not to another. It’s one of many adorable quirks that I love about her. A new smile creeps to my lips, as I return to leaning against another doorframe. “I shouldn’t have blamed her for her mother’s actions. Damnit. Why do I keep repeating the same mistake again?” Least she’s owning up to it? Though now I only feel guilty for her feeling bad, what irony.

“I think our biggest mistake was allowing Brittany to get in-between us.” I cut in, with a continuation of a gentle tone. The last thing I desire to ever raise my voice at Kyanite again. Delicate steps carry me over to the bed as well, where I sit beside my love - with a sigh to join, before i envelope her back into my arms where she belongs. “It was my fault for forgetting to take her off the pickup list. I promise that’ll be the first thing I do when we drop the girls off at the Daycare tomorrow.” I kiss the top of the Brunette’s head along with my assurance.

“But no more keeping things from me, okay? The bonus about being together, is helping each other with everything. Plus these damn fracken hormones are getting the best of me - and making me think you see me as weak.” Truth drips from my words at a level that’s difficult for me to reach usually. “I love you.” Finalizes my rampage in the best way I know how to.

Last Edit: Jun 10, 2017 22:45:25 GMT -5 by Cameo {RIP Charlie}

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Chasing away the past [KyVy] Jul 1, 2017 16:14:04 GMT -5

Post by * on Jul 1, 2017 16:14:04 GMT -5

Tears want to flood my exisitance but tears always seem to talk more than my own heart will. My head seems to take over and expell so many words that can either be helpful or hurtfull and it also wants to do the right thing all the time. A battle between the heart and brain seems to be my weakness. One can't have the best of both worlds and in the end, someone is going to pay big time for the consequences of ones actions.

The bed creaks underneath me just a pinch, a tiny scream of movement that I thought was because of me. I am not in control of my own movements.

"I think our biggest mistake was allowing Brittany to get in-between us." Her voice cuts into my own dramatic self monologue with a softness that seems almost daunting to earlier. Should this peaceful voice even be speaking to me after what I had done to her?

"You weren't supposed to be easedropping." I accuse her as she makes her way into the bedroom and I'm automatically wiping away at my eyes to make sure that there were no tears this time. That I can think and speak without my emotions spilling out onto my sleeve for her to see. Too many times that has happened and I'm trying to change that.

"It was my fault for forgetting tot ake her off the pickup list. I promise that'll be the first thing I do when we drop the girls off at the daycare tomorrow." She sits beside me while she says that, yet her actions speak louder than words and I'm cocooned into her arms once again like I've only ever wanted. Her lips touch the top of my head and my one arm snakes around her torso while the other goes to touch the precious area where our little one resides. I can't help but to think that our baby inside listened to our screaming. His first impressions on his parents were going to be fighting and I have to wonder how much he'll actually remember in the womb. Will he come out hating us, or me for that matter?

"I'm sorry, my little nugget." I whisper, and keep my hand over her stomach, hoping that he can feel my love for him. I've never had to worry about someone loving me until after Matthew made his appearance or my father going crazy. There once was a time when I knew love. Now? This is as close as I get to it. Vy and my little family that keeps growing.

"But no more keeping things from me, okay? The bonus about being together, is helping each other with everything. Plus these damn fracken hormones are getting the best of me - and making me think you see me as weak."

I sit up quickly and shake my head. "No Vy. I don't see you as weak. Not in the least..." It was true. She stood up to Jins on more than one occasion. She faught me the first time we met. She's proven herself so many times, and I don't know why she can't see that she's the best thing that has ever happened to me and she's done more than anyone else ever could.

"I love you."

A smile appears on my lips, slow at first knowing that we had just came from a terrible fight, to what is happening now. Though, the words don't just simply escape me that easy... not those words. I slip away from her grip and take my stand in front of her. I place myself in front of her and place my hand at her cheek.

"Remember when you said that you thought I insinuated you were weak? Well, there was that day, I told you that having a child made you a strong person. A kid does that to someone. I said that but at the time, I didnt have a child and now that I do, I realize how true it was that I said that. Now, you have another one, we do. Yet that phrase just doesn't seem to work anymore."

I bend down to her, placing my hands now on either side of her legs, propping myself to look her eye to eye. "Having a child makes you strong. Having two makes you invisible, but three - makes you immortal in my eyes." My lips touch hers very gently as my breath is suddenly halted, but my heart flutters with a deeper kiss.

"I can't say those three words because they've been tainted before... but actions speak louder than words right now. However... I am in love with you. I can say those six words though."

PAT: 787

Last Edit: Jul 1, 2017 16:16:05 GMT -5 by *

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Chasing away the past [KyVy] Jul 4, 2017 22:03:37 GMT -5

Post by Cameo {RIP Charlie} on Jul 4, 2017 22:03:37 GMT -5

The tempest tides of this chaotic lightning storm is finally beginning to subside to calm waters. Metaphoric clouds are rapidly fading to reveal the beautiful atmosphere of this romantic relationship, easing the tense energy from the trauma that the violent typhoon was just inducing. Alluring heat flutters the once brutal chill, like refreshing sun rays after an unforgiving blizzard. Precious grins, and relieving breaths, become allowed - though they yet to thrive in the aftermath of all that’s occurred. Awkwardness does not comb the forming mood, but instead a challenging strive to reshape the environment to how it was before. With Kyanite reunited at my side however, reconstruction is guaranteed to be possible.

Her appealing fingertips brush across my torso, reawakening the forming creation in rest from the brutal verbal battle. Already he’s been disturbed out of slumber, though in this situation it’s not due to unwelcoming screams - which he seems to appreciate. The moment my voice raised above it’s normal pitch earlier, and cruelly toward his other Mother, he viciously flailed within me as if to demand I stop such nonsense. Perhaps I should have listened to him much sooner. But as though satisfied that later’s better then never, he relaxes his movements.

At the break of my speech, my apology, Kyanite’s abrupt in her response - immediately breaching from our group embrace to confront my worries. “No Vy. I don’t see you as weak. Not in the least…” She reassures, though it’s solely my love for her that craves to be of topic. At least an illuminating smirk subtly forms the shape of her luscious lips, that mine crave to be attached to for eternity. Our eyes remain glued to one another, staring with such passion like they were palms capable of linking together. If we could mold back into one once more, and silence carried us through the rest of the night, not a single complaint would echo from my heart. But of course Ky’s desperate to comfort me from my frets.

Recollection of the past rings within my memories from her words. There’s no possibility of forgetting the moment when Kyanite discovered Brooklyn was my Daughter and not my baby Sister; and though back then I’d wish to erase the event, I’d never desire to now. She encouraged in me that being a Mother solely made me stronger, when I believed the complete opposite - exactly like what’s occurring now. A sigh deflates from my lungs at the realization that I’m repeating history once again, though now a lot more Littles increase the joys in our Life. How could I be acting as though I’m embarrassed by them?

“…Now, you have another one, we do. Yet that phrase just doesn’t seem to work anymore.” Her hands creep to both of my legs with her cliffhanger conclusion. That touch of her’s averts my attention to an entirely different track; though the fear over the new phrase won’t approve of me being completely distracted from the conversation at hand. Are we no longer badass Careers, but damned soccer moms? “Having a child makes you strong. Having two makes you invisible, but three - makes you immortal in my eyes.” And after her voiced perspective, her lips clash into mine in such a longing manner. There’s no preventing my fingers from intertwining through her breathtaking hair, as if to tempt her to never pull away from me again.

Eventually we must always separate unfortunately, as we can sadly not remain kissing until the end of time - there’s two little girls to care for, and a boy on the way. “Guess our Children have some immortal moms.” I grin at her, wrapping my arms around her hips to ensure her body doesn’t leave me as well - though her lips had to. She must already comprehend how she’s no different then I, she’s always been just as powerful, but I remind her anyways. “That explains how we always manage to get out of everything. After all that’s happened, at least one of us should seriously be dead by now.” Dark humor rumbles from me, before I divert my lips from speaking - to kissing her neck. “Kidding.” Is assured before she has a chance to get mad at me again.

Confusion sparks me due to the next to come from the voice that I adore. She speaks on how she can’t deliver three words, that they’ve been tainted, while I’m lost to the words she’s referring to. It’s not until she continues that I’m capable of understanding. The vocal meaning of ‘I love you’ has been destroyed within her by someone else. The mere expression can sing a beautiful carol, though not when prove in actions doesn’t follow them. However, she does contain intense emotions for me. She’s in love with me, and that she can verbally admit - and that elates me plenty.

“You stole the perfect words right from me.” I manage to get out, too enveloped by still kissing her neck to achieve any more simple sentences. Surely my actions with suffice, just as she craves. And with the finalization of our undesirable battle, I maneuver her directly onto the bed - where the true makeup can commence.

PaT Word Count: 873

Last Edit: Jul 4, 2017 22:05:00 GMT -5 by Cameo {RIP Charlie}: Adding in Word Count

So Many Different Personalities