would it matter {arrows}
Jun 10, 2017 14:15:00 GMT -5
Post by Knuckles on Jun 10, 2017 14:15:00 GMT -5
Ikaia Miristioma Twenty-Two | Male | District Eleven |
i know i'm a mess and i wanna be someone
someone that i like better
i can never forget
so don't remind me of it forever
someone that i like better
i can never forget
so don't remind me of it forever
When the wind blows, the world feels at ease, and perhaps that's why I'm standing here today glaring through the walls of the justice building while my brother stands on the stage hopefully turning people in his direction. He talks of hope, and all that matters is building our family to what it was before he was reaped for the games. So much has happened, and so much has changed, and yet I'm still running around trying to mend a broken relationship. Even with Jr and Ekain nothing makes sense anymore.
It surprises me that my trail hasn't etched itself into the carpet and rugs running along the floor. In each direction a new picture frames the wall. Names of tributes who've died. Rooms where I've stood in saying my last goodbye. I remember the scared sixteen year old I was when Kirito hid behind a door as the peacekeepers drug me away - I never thought I would see him again, and when he won, I remember him standing here, the speeches, the welcome homes. All of it, and yet it still feels like a dream. A broken reality crashed down around me like none other. Through thick and thin, he's my twin, my brother, the man who understands me more than anyone else; however, it has been a while.
To this very day, I still don't know where I went wrong. As he rose to fame, I fell behind, and at least for me, I thought he left me, but now, several years later, I know it's not true. He tried getting me to come home, to move into the victor's village with him, to live there. Not once would I have to work. Not once would I have to leave the house because of the money he won. But that's not my life. I work hard every single day. I grew up working trying to bring in money. Trying to help out the family, and it all just went away.
Once his speech ends, my hands begin shaking at my side. Sweat rolls from my brow, my heart feels like it's going to fly out of my chest. Talking isn't easy - it's never been, but for whatever reason talking to him makes me nervous. What can I say to him? Sorry for all the years? No that wouldn't work. You're right, I'm wrong. What good would that do? I support him in his every decision. I only want what's best for him. It's all I've ever wanted in my life. I'm older than him by just a couple minutes, yet I've been acting like a baby. A toddler.
A genuine smile twists across my face slowly spreading from ear to ear the moment I see him. I have so much I want to say before he walks away forever, but my gaze drops to the ground momentarily. I made many mistakes, and perhaps this is a chance to make it right because it feels like it's truly now or never.
"Kirito," His name slides from the tip of my tongue as I walk over towards him trying to figure out what to say. A heavy sigh leaves my chest as my gaze lifts from the ground, "I just want you to know that I support you in every way possible."
It's not much, but maybe it's a start The question is - would it matter?