worries can wait {Kirito + Oasis}
Jun 29, 2017 14:22:06 GMT -5
Post by Arrows on Jun 29, 2017 14:22:06 GMT -5
Kirito Miristioma
District Eleven
My fingers fall upon cruel cold creations of the Capitol. Beneath my touch ashes of once fierce fires sit silent without a single shift. Heavy is the death which dangles as dread in the confines of this car. Outside light leaps over fields of frolicking deer and spins strands of shelter over forests of ferns. This place perfectly pieces itself beyond the barrier of the life around it, a shadowy figure streaking through the sunbeams. Their bodies are too beautiful beneath the dwellings which divide us. Inside their carefully crafted coffins cleverly engraved: 75th, they seem as though they are sleeping. Yet, this is but another fracturing facade fabricated by the hands of those dressed in Snow's white. Their bodies are truthfully broken and beaten into ultimate annihilation, alas, it still seems as though their skin has never even known a scratch.
A door creaks down the hall and I worry for the wickedness which has been brewing since the battle. Dark is the cloud which has haunted Harbinger's days since the severing of Tamron's connection to life. It shattered and splintered our soul's in a second, mine still shakes yet Harbinger's hasn't stopped crumbling. He was so close, so so close to seeing the sun of truth and not fiction again. We almost didn't have to bring two more slaughtered sleepers home. We almost didn't have to prepare for the process of burying another one of Harbinger's family. We almost didn't need to drown in death fully for at least a year. We didn't get so lucky.
My head halts upon my hands while the cold creeps from my fingers to my face, we've failed again. Deceiving darkness drives forward its voice drowning me in thoughts already conjured before. You're weakness and inadept mentoring style has struck again Kirito. How many more are you going to kill? Seems to me the number is going to continue to grow two by two, year after year. Perhaps you would like the real victor here to show the next two what it truly takes to survive. Shuddering shakes my spine as sweat streaks down from my face. I falter and fall to the floor, Kiri's questions continue to draw my hands to my ears until again its as though I'm lying shattered beneath the clock tower in the Training Center. Except... there's no one to save me now.
Give me control. I convulse and cry quietly while memories mash within the storm surging in my mind. "Shut up.... Shut up!" The demon does not die when he can taste the delicious delight of a weakening host. How will you ever be able to be a Father when you can't even manage your.... "episodes"? Fingers fly as I slap them smashing against my skull, screams split the sides of the train surrounding me. "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!!!"
I wickedly wreathe from the mental manipulation once again before stopping frozen stiff on the floor. Blank is my stare while shallow are my breaths. Silence sits both in and around me, how can I be a Father like this? The door behind me finally begins to open while I see the shadow of a small skeleton slide into the room. Fear fuels me to my feet in horror as I worry for what she has seen. She knows I'm broken... Her voice is softer than a song sung by innocent souls.
"Why you on floor?" My face fixates fighting for an answer. I slide the first spade which spills into my thoughts. "I was kneeling down by the coffins out of respect for those inside Ana." I stiffen, her head tilts. A small frown falls on her face, "What are cofflyns?" My eyes grow wide at such stunning innocence, is this what being a parent involves? My fingers flick while I forge the words to teach her with. "Its a thing where people go to sleep for a long time in. A really special kind of bed." She seems to accept this answer and I pull off my first step as a parent, faking my first white lie.
Taking her hand and fleeing the site of my most recent fall out, I lead her to the main car. I lift her to a seat and let her see the world spinning and singing while it races by, then there is darkness, it bursts back into light. Outside arching fields of wheat waver in the will of the wind while rows upon rows of ripe red strawberries gleam glistening from their midday shower. Faces from the fields soon flick up from foraging before falling away in silent sadness for reasons I'm certain Anastasia doesn't understand. It was the death they were falling away from, not the bringing of my new daughter to the District.
A smile soft and sweet fills my face while I turn from watching to her. "Welcome to your new home Ana. Its got plenty of things to do and places to explore. Oh and just over those hills with the kids pulling the water from the wells is where our house is. Where your real new home is. I think you're gonna like it here." She says not a single thing but I spot her small smile while she nods. Its only now I feel my strength returning to me. I have to be strong for her, have to control my condition for her. She deserves a real Father, not a demon still bleeding from his scars.
When the train begins its final full turn I pull Ana from her chair and hand her a box I'd been saving. Curiosity crawls across the child's eyes igniting them with a spark of excitement. I reveal the blue poka dot dress and brown boots hiding within and smile. "Their your's, figured you should look like a District Eleven girl since you are one now." I help her change and see that although she is quiet I can tell she likes her surprise. I guess I'm not off to a terrible start with this Parenting thing.
I lose track of Harbinger when we finally depart the train and enter the sweltering summer sun's kiss. I hear Ana ask why its so hot here and I simply give her a small shrug. "Its just how it is here. Not all the time but during the summer the sun loves to shine, but in return we get the heat. Don't worry though it will be nice and cool back at the house." She nods again and I take her hand while we walk down the steps of the train station. Silently I thank the fact for once we don't have a new victor to follow us, at least it keeps Harbinger and I out of the spot light to get settled back in.
While I take my first walk with Ana through the District I hear sudden steps scuttling through the sun burnt soil. From up ahead Rafe comes to a skidding stop spitting dust in a sudden spiral into the air. Before I can even get out a word of surprise his beat my own. "I need to get you back to the house fast! Oasis is having the baby!" My heart halts, my stomach sinks, my throat twists. Its impossible, she shouldn't be due for another week. I should have time to learn. Can I really do this? Should we do this? What if they hate me? What if they leave me? What if they die... I nearly throw up on the side of the street. A false hand smacks my face.
"What the hell are you doing Kirito?" Rhyme looks more pissed than I've ever seen her. "She needs you so get your ass home! You deserve this, you can do this, you can live the life you've always wanted." My body strengths despite the worry still building behind the dam in my mind. She's right, I have always wanted this... So I have to try, for Oasis I have to try. Its not just my life anymore, its her life, my family's life. Its what I fought to get back home for.
In a matter of moments I have Ana in my arm and am racing down the road. Her eyes are wide and I know she's confused but I have little to comfort her with now. She's still so young yet now I have to ask her to be a big girl while I bring her home to a house welcoming her younger sister... Not to mention, this isn't exactly the time I was planning to tell Oasis about Ana, but then again when is life ever expectable?
Cold crisp air from the conditioner rushes over my sweat stained skin as I enter the house. In the garage I can hear the voices of Valentina and Ma and I know they must be preparing everything for me, I guess it doesn't suck to be the District's doctor in a time like this. Gently I set Ana on the floor while I watch Ma walk out to greet me. She stands stunned for a second and I quickly hand her Ana's hand. "Listen, I'll explain everything later but she's here to stay too. She's our family now." Ma's confusion fades to a smile as I turn to Ana brushing some of the stray strands of her hair from her face. "Okay Ana, I have to go help out your new Mama with something real quick. Until I come back my Mama, your new Grandma, is gonna take you into the kitchen and get to know you. Don't worry she's super sweet and if you ask nicely I bet she'll even make you some cold lemonade." I see her eyes spark and I know she understands, its all I need to go rushing into the room.
Everything moves so swiftly, suddenly my hands are washed and covered by gloves and my skin my special red scrubs. However, before I put my mask on I'm smiling by Oasis' side as I finally see my reflection in the perfection of her eyes perfect as a pearl. "Hey there, you look like you could use my help and company. What do you say we have a baby?" A laugh lifts from my lips as tears slightly begin to pool in my ducts. I kiss her softly on her lips before she can speak simply because being away for three weeks is three weeks too many. Chills of worry whip through my veins but I let my feelings of love and happiness force them away. Today is something I want, something we want, not something we had to do.
A door creaks down the hall and I worry for the wickedness which has been brewing since the battle. Dark is the cloud which has haunted Harbinger's days since the severing of Tamron's connection to life. It shattered and splintered our soul's in a second, mine still shakes yet Harbinger's hasn't stopped crumbling. He was so close, so so close to seeing the sun of truth and not fiction again. We almost didn't have to bring two more slaughtered sleepers home. We almost didn't have to prepare for the process of burying another one of Harbinger's family. We almost didn't need to drown in death fully for at least a year. We didn't get so lucky.
My head halts upon my hands while the cold creeps from my fingers to my face, we've failed again. Deceiving darkness drives forward its voice drowning me in thoughts already conjured before. You're weakness and inadept mentoring style has struck again Kirito. How many more are you going to kill? Seems to me the number is going to continue to grow two by two, year after year. Perhaps you would like the real victor here to show the next two what it truly takes to survive. Shuddering shakes my spine as sweat streaks down from my face. I falter and fall to the floor, Kiri's questions continue to draw my hands to my ears until again its as though I'm lying shattered beneath the clock tower in the Training Center. Except... there's no one to save me now.
Give me control. I convulse and cry quietly while memories mash within the storm surging in my mind. "Shut up.... Shut up!" The demon does not die when he can taste the delicious delight of a weakening host. How will you ever be able to be a Father when you can't even manage your.... "episodes"? Fingers fly as I slap them smashing against my skull, screams split the sides of the train surrounding me. "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!!!"
I wickedly wreathe from the mental manipulation once again before stopping frozen stiff on the floor. Blank is my stare while shallow are my breaths. Silence sits both in and around me, how can I be a Father like this? The door behind me finally begins to open while I see the shadow of a small skeleton slide into the room. Fear fuels me to my feet in horror as I worry for what she has seen. She knows I'm broken... Her voice is softer than a song sung by innocent souls.
"Why you on floor?" My face fixates fighting for an answer. I slide the first spade which spills into my thoughts. "I was kneeling down by the coffins out of respect for those inside Ana." I stiffen, her head tilts. A small frown falls on her face, "What are cofflyns?" My eyes grow wide at such stunning innocence, is this what being a parent involves? My fingers flick while I forge the words to teach her with. "Its a thing where people go to sleep for a long time in. A really special kind of bed." She seems to accept this answer and I pull off my first step as a parent, faking my first white lie.
Taking her hand and fleeing the site of my most recent fall out, I lead her to the main car. I lift her to a seat and let her see the world spinning and singing while it races by, then there is darkness, it bursts back into light. Outside arching fields of wheat waver in the will of the wind while rows upon rows of ripe red strawberries gleam glistening from their midday shower. Faces from the fields soon flick up from foraging before falling away in silent sadness for reasons I'm certain Anastasia doesn't understand. It was the death they were falling away from, not the bringing of my new daughter to the District.
A smile soft and sweet fills my face while I turn from watching to her. "Welcome to your new home Ana. Its got plenty of things to do and places to explore. Oh and just over those hills with the kids pulling the water from the wells is where our house is. Where your real new home is. I think you're gonna like it here." She says not a single thing but I spot her small smile while she nods. Its only now I feel my strength returning to me. I have to be strong for her, have to control my condition for her. She deserves a real Father, not a demon still bleeding from his scars.
When the train begins its final full turn I pull Ana from her chair and hand her a box I'd been saving. Curiosity crawls across the child's eyes igniting them with a spark of excitement. I reveal the blue poka dot dress and brown boots hiding within and smile. "Their your's, figured you should look like a District Eleven girl since you are one now." I help her change and see that although she is quiet I can tell she likes her surprise. I guess I'm not off to a terrible start with this Parenting thing.
I lose track of Harbinger when we finally depart the train and enter the sweltering summer sun's kiss. I hear Ana ask why its so hot here and I simply give her a small shrug. "Its just how it is here. Not all the time but during the summer the sun loves to shine, but in return we get the heat. Don't worry though it will be nice and cool back at the house." She nods again and I take her hand while we walk down the steps of the train station. Silently I thank the fact for once we don't have a new victor to follow us, at least it keeps Harbinger and I out of the spot light to get settled back in.
While I take my first walk with Ana through the District I hear sudden steps scuttling through the sun burnt soil. From up ahead Rafe comes to a skidding stop spitting dust in a sudden spiral into the air. Before I can even get out a word of surprise his beat my own. "I need to get you back to the house fast! Oasis is having the baby!" My heart halts, my stomach sinks, my throat twists. Its impossible, she shouldn't be due for another week. I should have time to learn. Can I really do this? Should we do this? What if they hate me? What if they leave me? What if they die... I nearly throw up on the side of the street. A false hand smacks my face.
"What the hell are you doing Kirito?" Rhyme looks more pissed than I've ever seen her. "She needs you so get your ass home! You deserve this, you can do this, you can live the life you've always wanted." My body strengths despite the worry still building behind the dam in my mind. She's right, I have always wanted this... So I have to try, for Oasis I have to try. Its not just my life anymore, its her life, my family's life. Its what I fought to get back home for.
In a matter of moments I have Ana in my arm and am racing down the road. Her eyes are wide and I know she's confused but I have little to comfort her with now. She's still so young yet now I have to ask her to be a big girl while I bring her home to a house welcoming her younger sister... Not to mention, this isn't exactly the time I was planning to tell Oasis about Ana, but then again when is life ever expectable?
Cold crisp air from the conditioner rushes over my sweat stained skin as I enter the house. In the garage I can hear the voices of Valentina and Ma and I know they must be preparing everything for me, I guess it doesn't suck to be the District's doctor in a time like this. Gently I set Ana on the floor while I watch Ma walk out to greet me. She stands stunned for a second and I quickly hand her Ana's hand. "Listen, I'll explain everything later but she's here to stay too. She's our family now." Ma's confusion fades to a smile as I turn to Ana brushing some of the stray strands of her hair from her face. "Okay Ana, I have to go help out your new Mama with something real quick. Until I come back my Mama, your new Grandma, is gonna take you into the kitchen and get to know you. Don't worry she's super sweet and if you ask nicely I bet she'll even make you some cold lemonade." I see her eyes spark and I know she understands, its all I need to go rushing into the room.
Everything moves so swiftly, suddenly my hands are washed and covered by gloves and my skin my special red scrubs. However, before I put my mask on I'm smiling by Oasis' side as I finally see my reflection in the perfection of her eyes perfect as a pearl. "Hey there, you look like you could use my help and company. What do you say we have a baby?" A laugh lifts from my lips as tears slightly begin to pool in my ducts. I kiss her softly on her lips before she can speak simply because being away for three weeks is three weeks too many. Chills of worry whip through my veins but I let my feelings of love and happiness force them away. Today is something I want, something we want, not something we had to do.
