hush now, don't say a word { diamond / ariel }

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k!ah
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hush now, don't say a word { diamond / ariel } Jul 21, 2017 23:52:56 GMT -5

Post by k!ah on Jul 21, 2017 23:52:56 GMT -5

A r i e l P o r t e r

Cooing filled the air, the sounds of new born children. Nurses bustled around, there shoes making small clapping sounds on the tiled floors. I watched, my crystal blue eyes ever so carefully watching the trail of one nurse in particular. She was a fuller lady, her pearly blonde hair tied back in a tight bun. Her voice was the loudest, barking orders at all the others. As she turned I could see that her cheeks were dusted with what looked like powdered rose petals. The way she spoke, the way she held herself, almost everything about the unknown woman reminded me of someone. Someone who made my lips pull back into a slight snarl, my body flushing with the intense feeling of dislike. It made my fingers curl around into tight balls, my nails biting into the palms of my hands.

It wasn't the woman's fault that she was able to initiate such dark feeling within me, it wasn't her fault that she sparked a rage that took all i had to keep under control. It was only because of the unfortunate similarities that she had with a woman that caused my life to be almost unbearable at times. Shaking my head slightly I force myself to avert my eyes, forcing them to concentrate on the soft skin, the puffy faces of the new born children. I watched as they smiled up at me with toothless grins, there eyes filled with something that I couldn't quite put my finger on... It looked like happiness overwhelmed by oblivion. There smiles were contagious and before I new it my lips were split into a bright smile. It was not often that I found myself smiling without intention... usually only one person could manage to wrangle such an emotion out of me was my sister.

My sister who was in this hospital now, her body connected to machines which beeped insistently, a reminder thats she was not really in control with her own body, the sickness was. It was eating her from the insides, ravaging on the way that she tasted, on the way that it made her weak and it strong. But the machines weren't the only thing continuing the war inside the dying girls body, I was also. I was one of the girls strongest opponents, my blood forcing the enemy to back down, to become dormant for times which were unpredictable to say the least.

Crying fills the space around me, dragging me from deep within my thoughts. My eyes slowly focus on the small form in the back corner of the infirmary. It only takes a few moments before a nurse rushes over to the whimpering newborn, gushing gentle words, trying to calm the baby's cries before other begun to chime in. If only things were to be that easy in the years to come.

Last Edit: Jul 21, 2017 23:53:22 GMT -5 by k!ah

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Arrows
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your resident blonde bisexual boy

hush now, don't say a word { diamond / ariel } Jul 25, 2017 20:36:50 GMT -5

Post by Arrows on Jul 25, 2017 20:36:50 GMT -5

Voices. Fluttering soft about the breathless sound of speech I know not of their origins. Glass invented within the imagination of my mind separates me from those whom surround my sides. Hands whose faces I do not know dethrone me from my senses, drown me in a salted sea of disarray. Beneath the brutal blue of their cruel creation I dwell in the depths of depraving agony. Warmth is unwelcomed in my sadistic sanctuary where sins are all that stain my skin. Narcotic needles are the only ones open to connect with me on a level deeper than skin, see my body beneath a shattered smile. Alone I'm drowning, floating upon some terrible tide which kills my own voice while devouring me in the ones' who drown me at his will. Father, are you satisfied now?

When morning finally manages to bring about my return to reality the mists of my mental bombardment still scar my vision. Weakness weighs down over my muscles and my hands shake when I reach out into the muddied mists searching for a soul. A touch stems from the tips of my fingers but does not grant me what has been stolen. I remain devoid of warmth and affection. Food is forced into my system, tears no longer steal away from my eyes. That crying girl died after her second shock in the life of a slave.

By noon my sight is sharper and the fog recalls back for a few hours of freedom. Nurses navigate me to the door but I force them from my presence, their hands are always those which drown me by Father's demand. I walk weakly down some hall I've seen a hundred times. A boy breathes heavily upon a machine, a Mother weeps for a waning husband's health, a little girl in a gown runs screaming from her struggles. She'll become subdued in time.

Soft sounds for once wash over my ears as crying children are cooed and cradled. A room nearby remains closed from view while women welcome new additions into life. It's your fault she's dead, you demon. Yes Papa. No Prism this time to push away the pain or break the falsities of our Father. I slump against the actual glass between myself and the infants just footsteps beyond the barrier. A hand presses to the glass, good luck in life.

Just beyond my own location I spot another wrapped up in watching those still unbeaten. Perhaps pain resides within the illumination of her irises as well. My steps draw me closer to her side, my words actually come out of my mind for a change. "Too bad there's no one in life to actually care for you when you're crying huh?"

Diamond Nixton

Graphic by the Breathtakingly Talented Stare

k!ah
Retired Staff

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last seen Nov 10, 2024 20:35:35 GMT -5

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hush now, don't say a word { diamond / ariel } Aug 2, 2017 18:04:55 GMT -5

Post by k!ah on Aug 2, 2017 18:04:55 GMT -5

A r i e l P o r t e r

"Too bad," breaking though my thoughts like a chilled breeze of a sunny morning, I turn, my eyes focusing on the slim frame of a girl with hair so blonde that I felt like if I kept staring I would loose my ability to see. "There's no one in life to actually care for you when your crying, huh?" Her words were harsh, slicing through the air like freshly sharpened blades. But I do not flinch because despite their harshness they were ever so true. She was right, the moment you started growing up... was the moment you had to start taking care of yourself because no one else was going to do it. People are going to use you endlessly, they are going to want want want but, from my own experiences, they will never give... never.

Well. That, again, was not the entire truth. I guess thats why my face formed a somewhat vicious snarl rather then an expression filled with understanding. I knew exactly who this girl was. I knew that she was not n the same level as civilians like me. She was above, she knew it, hell everyone knew it. I knew that from a child people like her would not ever really understand how it felt to be completely helpless, to have, really, no control ver their own body let alone what was happening around them. But with rich little girls like herself, I knew for a fact, that the moment they shed a tear a whole crowd of people would be by their side, ready to catch them and fawn over them, constantly reminding them of how great, how wonderful they are. But most of all, they would reassure her, and show her how much they loved her.

Love.

And that was something that I envied with everything I had. I guess that is the reason to why my words were laced with venom as the escaped my unforgiving lips, "as if you, Diamond Nixton, knows anything about it. I bet the moment you cry, or the moment you beg- wait... you wouldn't have to beg- people- staff- would be at your side." I scoff, my hands finding a home on my hips, "you would know nothing- nothing- about being left in the shit house to deal with everything on our own. People like you don't have to grow up until your ready. Where everyone else as to grow up the minute they realise that they are alone in this world." It was only when I finished I realised that small tears had begun to form, building at the edge of my crystal blue eyes, waiting for their command to fall. That command wouldn't come. I would not cry because I was stronger than that. So instead of admitting my my weakness I blame it on the new borns, using the excuse of all the extra emotions in the room because I was string. Stronger than this anyways.

But maybe I wasn't? Maybe I was weak. Maybe I was nothing, after all, my whole existence was to keep my sister breathing. My sister alive. Maybe that was all I was worth.