letter for diamond millison
Aug 15, 2017 17:09:12 GMT -5
Post by rook on Aug 15, 2017 17:09:12 GMT -5
Diamond,
You probably hate my guts, but whatever, so does everyone else.
The months seem to blend into each-other these days. It used to be that years were routine to me, split between the Games months, long winters, gradual springs, and then the Reaping again. Now it's hard for me to tell how much time is passing and at what rate, it's all just moving if that makes sense.
But I sat down and I worked it out, and it's been nearly four years since I last saw you. That hurts me more than any of the phantom pains in my arm or my fucked spine. It hurts me that so much dead time has passed, time that could have been spent with you, but instead circumstance has seen fit to keep us apart. Fuck knows I've done everything I possibly can to get back to One, to see you, but shit's tight. Snow is on my ass more than ever, and I have responsibilities here in Five now that stretch beyond just my own worthless mortality.
Still, I shouldn't have taken this long to write. As soon as Snow stopped his pathetic punishment for me and cut my visits to One, I should have written. I mean, it was hard to get this letter to you, I had to pull all sorts of strings, but it's no excuse for not writing sooner. You deserved to hear from me, but I was in a bad place, and maybe some part of me thought that you'd just accept the fact that I was gone, and move on, like you deserve to. Maybe I was just too much of a coward to do it myself. Maybe I thought that if I just shut it all out, that would be best.
I hope you can forgive me for that, but I don't blame you if you don't.
Snow's punishments, the little seminars and visits to One, they turned out to be the best thing to ever happen to me, because, you know, I met you, and I got to spend time with you, and those were honestly the best days of my life.
If you've made it this far without ripping up this letter, it means you care about what I think, and I like to think that means you know I don't bullshit either. So, here it is - It's likely you'll never see me again.
I can't just travel between Districts, even as a Victor, Ripred knows I tried everything I could to make that possible, even offered myself to Snow to be one of his Victor playthings - He said he wouldn't give me a damn thing. So, that means that I'll only ever go to One if District Five wins another Games, which could be decades.
I think we both knew that would be the case anyway. You're not stupid, your mom is a Victor, you know how these things work.
I genuinely fell in love with someone, for the first time in my fucked up life, and I was ridiculously lucky for that person to be you.
I hope you find it in you to believe me when I say I only ever wanted you to be happy, and I always will. I hope you can find someone who can give you all the hapiness you deserve.
My love, always,
Also, go easy on your mom. I know you've always resented her, but she's not all bad. How else do you think I got this letter to you?
Python
You probably hate my guts, but whatever, so does everyone else.
The months seem to blend into each-other these days. It used to be that years were routine to me, split between the Games months, long winters, gradual springs, and then the Reaping again. Now it's hard for me to tell how much time is passing and at what rate, it's all just moving if that makes sense.
But I sat down and I worked it out, and it's been nearly four years since I last saw you. That hurts me more than any of the phantom pains in my arm or my fucked spine. It hurts me that so much dead time has passed, time that could have been spent with you, but instead circumstance has seen fit to keep us apart. Fuck knows I've done everything I possibly can to get back to One, to see you, but shit's tight. Snow is on my ass more than ever, and I have responsibilities here in Five now that stretch beyond just my own worthless mortality.
Still, I shouldn't have taken this long to write. As soon as Snow stopped his pathetic punishment for me and cut my visits to One, I should have written. I mean, it was hard to get this letter to you, I had to pull all sorts of strings, but it's no excuse for not writing sooner. You deserved to hear from me, but I was in a bad place, and maybe some part of me thought that you'd just accept the fact that I was gone, and move on, like you deserve to. Maybe I was just too much of a coward to do it myself. Maybe I thought that if I just shut it all out, that would be best.
I hope you can forgive me for that, but I don't blame you if you don't.
Snow's punishments, the little seminars and visits to One, they turned out to be the best thing to ever happen to me, because, you know, I met you, and I got to spend time with you, and those were honestly the best days of my life.
If you've made it this far without ripping up this letter, it means you care about what I think, and I like to think that means you know I don't bullshit either. So, here it is - It's likely you'll never see me again.
I can't just travel between Districts, even as a Victor, Ripred knows I tried everything I could to make that possible, even offered myself to Snow to be one of his Victor playthings - He said he wouldn't give me a damn thing. So, that means that I'll only ever go to One if District Five wins another Games, which could be decades.
I think we both knew that would be the case anyway. You're not stupid, your mom is a Victor, you know how these things work.
I genuinely fell in love with someone, for the first time in my fucked up life, and I was ridiculously lucky for that person to be you.
I hope you find it in you to believe me when I say I only ever wanted you to be happy, and I always will. I hope you can find someone who can give you all the hapiness you deserve.
My love, always,
Also, go easy on your mom. I know you've always resented her, but she's not all bad. How else do you think I got this letter to you?
Python
