what the flowers have sung ✿ VT [paige&teddy]

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eulalie blake 1a 🍒 tris
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what the flowers have sung ✿ VT [paige&teddy] Sept 10, 2017 14:30:41 GMT -5

Post by eulalie blake 1a 🍒 tris on Sept 10, 2017 14:30:41 GMT -5

There's a crown of roses on her lap.

Red petals fading to brown, thin stems linked together and stripped of their thorns, and this is a certain kind of poetry that she cannot name. The death in her hands is not her own to claim; it never has been. Not when they took Saffron away and only brought her shell home, and not when her cousins were shipped back to Ten from the arena without any air in their lungs. With their eyes closed and hands folded over their chests and a fake flush on their cheeks. Emberly's never got that red, and Myara's were never that pink. She hates how familiar birch-wood caskets have become.

Paige knows that she didn't get the chance to love Emberly as much as her kin had ~~(do?)~~ — too busy dealing with her own selfish agenda — but she does care, truly. She's just good at holding back her tears. When she opened up her heart to her cousin the day she left for the Capitol, she had meant every word that she said. Emberly was, and always will be, family to Paige. And someday she'll learn to deal with the years she had spent pushing her newfound relatives away when she should have been holding them closer. Saffron, too. Everyone that she always kept at an arm's length. What counts is that she's bettering herself. Finally sober and less nights spent crying herself too sleep. Shaky steps, but the finish line is in sight.

This moment isn't about her, though. She reminds herself of that. She's alive, and she's never killed in the true sense of the word. The forthcoming feast is one that has been prepared for murderers and ghosts only. She will attend, but she knows that she doesn't belong. What's a mourner to do? She waits. Hair in a messy knot atop her head, wearing a suit for the formal occasion — she doesn't want to draw any attention to herself tonight. Where flames normally dance across her scalp, she does her best to keep them contained. She's not the sister of a victor in this moment. Neither is she the girlfriend of a boy born from a golden lineage. She's just the cousin of a girl who was taken far too soon. That's all.

The stars haven't yet arrived, but the sky starts to shift from blue to violet as she watches from her perch on the wooden fence. Her legs dangle off the edge without a care, but she keeps her torso tightened to maintain her balance. When she looks over her shoulder to the ranch house belonging to her aunt and uncle off in the distance, she can already see the early glow of candles that have been brought out. There's a faint scent of food drifting on the wind, but she can't place it by name. Surely they spared no expense for their guest, but who much cares about eating during a time like this? Her stomach growls at the irony of the thought, and she's laughing to herself when his figure appears on the horizon.

She waits for him, sitting in silence as he makes his way up the walkway to his destination. No escorts accompany him, trusting his life in the hands of the family that he stole from, and Paige respects him for it. If she had been younger, she would have spat on him. Would have leapt from her elevated position and punched him square in the jaw. But that cycle of her rage has steadily come to its end, replaced by a fatigue she's only just waking from, and she does her best to smile for the young man when he gets close enough to look her in the face. He's handsome, with curls and dimples and good intentions, and she can't hate him. The Paige of her childhood would have placed the blame on his shoulders, but it's not his fault. None of this is. Better Emberly's killer win than someone else. At least she died for something.

"Teddy, right?" Paige starts, dropping down to the ground from the fence. The soft thud of her boots landing against the dirt accompanies her. She adjusts herself from the impact, tucking a stray strand of red hair behind her ear and holding the flower crown protectively at her hip. "They say you prefer that to Theodore." She bites her lip awkwardly, looking away just long enough to shake her head. She turns back with a grin that is caught in the place between being genuine and forced. She's not sure how she feels, but it is kind. There's a type of warmth around him. She does not feel troubled. No fear; no sadness. "My name is Paige. I'm Emberly's cousin." Should she switch to past tense? Too late now. She has to keep going. "I wanted to meet you personally." A sorrowful breath gets caught in her throat, but she sucks back it in with a soft gasp.

"Congratulations, Teddy.
I'm very proud of you.
No matter the circumstances."

all my girls got their lace and their crimes.

Kingston Cesaire D3A [Tom]
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what the flowers have sung ✿ VT [paige&teddy] Sept 20, 2017 14:42:37 GMT -5

Post by Kingston Cesaire D3A [Tom] on Sept 20, 2017 14:42:37 GMT -5

Words from a dead girl with a heart of gold still ring in his mind as he heads down the path, alone like she had said they were. They weren't there with him, not physically, but he felt alone. Always so alone now, even with the bustling district around him, there's still a sorrow that kisses his skin with old wounds that would forever be marked on his skin. Until the end, he had told her while she cut his skin open with gold like her heart. Brown eyes that watched him for a moment as he carried her to the top of a hill to watch the sun set in the distance. A selfish man who only wanted to get home and see another sunset and sunrise, this is who he's become, but he still forces himself to plaster a smile when his hands feel so bloody. A man who forces himself to seem alright when he was breaking on the inside.

There's not a moment where he wishes that he could take Emberly with him. A wish that sticks to his heart with a sharp pain of the memories. Her words that had cut into him, just like her blade had. Ree Fer was dead because of him. Emberly Lowe was dead because of him. Lux Pelotte was dead because of him. He wouldn't ever feel normal like he once did. The sun kisses the sky as it begins to move closer to hiding behind the horizon of District Ten. Another day that would end with his hands shaking as he prepares himself with the icy glares that would come from the Lowe's eyes. Hearts of gold entwined in the love of Emberly Lowe. He deserved whatever they would give him. Grief, hatred, or anything at all, he deserved every piece of it. A selfish man who just wanted to live like Emberly Lowe, who had a family who hated him, unlike the Lowe's, who loved one another. At least, that's what he would have guessed.

The small koala that sits upon his neck sleeps happily. The only thing that he could provide for them, a damn koala to remind them of Emberly Lowe. Cupcake the koala was a brown furry creature that Emberly had loved. The koala rest upon him as he moves normally, knowing the creature would hold on like Ring had done. The rest would be somewhere safe, that's all he could hope for. Ring was back in the train being treated to an expensive meal of rare leaves that would keep him happy. Not like he wouldn't be asleep by the time Teddy got back. A sigh escapes his throat as he looks for the first star in the sky to be twinkling. Right about then would be when the anthem rang through the sky, brown eyes would look down at him looking just as dead as they were.

Closer and closer, he comes to the ranch house that held the place where Emberly Lowe had cured animals at and all he can feel is his heartbeat pumping in his chest. Wooden fences are along the side of him and continue on and on until they reach the home. A girl who shared the same hair, the same eyes, the same feeling of a golden heart was there. Emberly was in pieces of her just from a glance. At first, he had thought it was actually Emberly, but now he knew it wasn't. It was one of her family members for sure. He's alone, but he wasn't going to back away in fear. He deserved whatever they would give him. The voice cuts the air and his breath for a second.

"Teddy, right?" The girl hops down from the fence, boots hitting the ground with a soft thud as his heart hammers at the sight of red hair and golden hearts. He can remember Emberly's words ringing through his mind. Until the end, she would have said and this was still apart of what he had to do for Emberly and himself. He needed to be the person there for the Lowes when Emberly was meant to. There's a quick moment of adjustment as the girl tucks a strand away behind her ear. "They say you prefer that to Theodore." He only nods in response to this. Heartbeat keeping himself nervous of anything that could happen. Mind screaming that he had killed a loved one and they'd fight him. He'd let them beat him up if that's what they needed. He'd let them take what they want from him if that's what they needed. He'd let them do whatever they needed to in order to feel at ease and not suffering from his act of murder with crimson hands.

"My name is Paige. I'm Emberly's cousin."

Paige. It rings like a name that was meant to be falling from Emberly's lips. Emberly's cousin was in front of him. A slow movement of his hand to the inside of his pocket where he pushes fingernail into his side to hold him steady because he feels like falling into a pit of suffering again, but he needed to stay strong for Emberly. He made a promise to her and himself. They were her family and deserved to know that he would carry her. A grin that is recognizable upon her face as he's carried the same one at the victor party. Her words come from her lips again.

"I wanted to meet you personally."

Hollowing out his insides, he holds himself waiting for anything that Paige Lowe would want to say. Horrible words that could come from her lips. Physical pain that she could cause to him, even if he was a victor and knew that he could protect himself, he would have accepted it as a punishment for the crimson that lays upon his skin. A reminder of the evil that he's committed. It doesn't come. Paige Lowe swallows down whatever sorrow she was feeling if that's what he could read it as before speaking surprising words.

"Congratulations, Teddy. I'm very proud of you. No matter the circumstances."

He leans to his good side where a real foot still was as he stares at her with a feeling of surprise and yet sorrow. He did win, but at what cost. Proud of him, that was not what anyone should feel, especially a Lowe. Proud. It's not what he was of it all. He wasn't proud to have killed Emberly Lowe. He wasn't proud to have watched Cameron Dialate collapse. It felt like a brick of doubt in his chest as he thinks of not being proud. All he does is give a small smile as he continues to hide the hand stabbing his leg with his fingernail in his pocket. Teeth clenched in a sorrow filled mind as he swallows down the lump of grief and regret into his chest. He speaks kindly.

"No."

The word cuts through the air as uncomfortably as he felt, but he knew what needed to be said. Kindness upon his skin, but inside he's drowning from it all. Emberly Lowe's dreams of a field of flowers where the dead lie still in his mind. Emberly Lowe was the girl that she had always been in the end still. Dying like the girl who knew she was loved by all of her family. There's still a pit in his stomach from the way her eyes lost the last bit of life in them staring at the sunset where he had last seen her. All he could do was feel like his heart was tearing itself apart at the memories of her.

"Don't be proud of me. I-I don't deserve it."

Eyes glance away from her as he stares past her to the ranch house with smells of food coming down the breeze to them as he looks back to Paige's face. Features that scream Emberly Lowe in every moment that they stood there. A heart of gold had to be in Paige's chest just like her cousin. Smiles falter as he decides to drop it with a small frown and brushing some of his curly hair back into place where it had been before he had shifted his weight. All he could feel was the crimson upon his skin like it was under a spotlight. Everyone could see it with just a glance, but he still felt like he was collapsing in.

"Be proud of your cousin. She deserves it more than I do."

He knows that it won't mean much. Emberly had told him the exact same thing about apologies, but he could still try, even if it meant eating himself inside out with sorrow. He was only a man who had killed three in order to live. Three people who still pull pieces of him apart at the thought of anything anymore, but he still holds himself up barely with the thought of carrying them with him. In memories that he carries. They follow him like they were his own skin.

"I'm sorry, Paige. I'm so sorry that it couldn't have been her to come home."

He's drowning as he can feel himself breath in a hard breath. He moves along to the fence where he leans along it trying to hold himself up and leave the panic in his chest behind. The sorrows swallowing him whole for a moment until he closes his eyes and opens them looking back to Paige. Green eyes that felt so sad in his own skin, but it happened and he needed to accept it.

"I'm nothing special."

All he was doing was drowning.

Breathe.

"Emberly is."