holding your tongue { steelhart
Sept 16, 2017 15:05:54 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Sept 16, 2017 15:05:54 GMT -5
F R A N C E S --
I think I might just be a shitty person.
It's only taken my how many dead sisters to realize that? Six -- I didn't think I'd ever call them sisters, if that counts as progress towards being a decent person any. Six dead sisters, seven counting me and how ever many years I wasted being an angry asshole, I don't know how I'm still alive. Like, that's fucking stupid, right? I spent since I was eleven wanting to die, my entire teenage life time was my annoying ass trying to get reaped and cutting corners and smoking until I thought my eyes would get cataracts and yet I'm the one who gets to live. And they keep adopting new girls too, like they can replace Lucrezia and the twins and I can't hate them forever.
I've already t r i e d.
Maybe that's just growing up, seventeen and realizing that we're all just trying. I saw Jasmine for the first time, nicotine under my skin, eye bags the weight of the goddamn gate to heaven or something -- I'm surprised she recognized me because I doubt I could. And I cried like a baby, for the first time that wasn't about coffins, she's out there, and it's so- stupid? Ridiculous? Running around at three a.m., pretending I'm a badass and covering scars with jeggings; that's when shit's easiest to steal. Dirty fuckers around here are robbing the poor anyways, what's so wrong when I do it? Grabby hands in billionaire pockets, they really can't care that much, ever since all my friends died I've had too much spare time to take up with doing watercolors with my toes.
"Stupid BITCH-" brown baggie filled with pharmacy drugs, half for getting high with, half to give to homeless people -- winter's coming around, yknow? Laughing and adrenaline pumping, I used to think I didn't bleed. When I was twelve and too angry to realize I was hurting more than just myself, I knock one of the drug store shelves down, shit spilling every where and twenty four hour drug stores always see it coming. Like come on, if I can get away with this shit then they deserve to be robbed! "FUCK YOU" plastic bottle hitting the shit out of my head, should've seen that coming, nearly tripping over my own ass busting through the door.
And of course they follow me, can you blame them? Hot as hell, shooting through here like a bullet -- I've got the hot hands and the hot body, I know what's up. "You don't know who you're fucking with!" Shouting over my shoulder, looking back for a second quick enough to get whiplash, "OH-"fuck."
OH god they caught me, course crashing into a fit of hair and I hesitate, pills spilling on the ground, "fuck you!" I blink, red hair underneath me- holy shit.
Hot girl, my knee bleeding, I'm a little confused, a little excited; I'm going to jail, at least let me get locked up by a dominatrix, yknow? I feel like that's compensation. It's what Elvaina would've wanted for me.