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headache. dars Sept 17, 2017 0:48:12 GMT -5

Post by Deleted on Sept 17, 2017 0:48:12 GMT -5

D I E G O.

It's all e x c i t e m e n t.

I prefer it without the chains.

Existing without purpose, it somehow feels more chaotic; liminal space and I rebel just by refusing. Imagine if it were that simple? Acting as if I were truly independent just by being on stage without a show, foot steps echoing through the pit- the Colosseum. People are happy here. I mourn the version of myself I never truly lost.

We stand on opposite banisters, man and animal -- Jackson's lion and Jackson's liar. Ha.
Okay.

Elevated stages, "you want it?" he stares me down. Nameless, meaningless, just here and I appreciate it, at the base value. Twenty feet up, feline always fall on their feet, maybe Vivian's the same.

Idea - how far up can Jackson's lion go.

limits, answering stupid questions for the sake of achievement, I'm bored. tired. It makes the jump, thunderous, echoing and I stare it in the eyes -- for a second I think, I hope it tries to eat me. That's new, for me at least, lion bites. How many stitches would that take, how fast would they heal, I lift the chicken above its head, watching neck muscles tense up. Mouth hanging open, i n t e r e s t i n g.

I wonder,
waving my free hand opposite, temptation.

Left hands, who needs them anyways? The lion's mouth watering, focused above, I slowly tickle its teeth with my left, what would I do. Maybe nobody would love me.

that can't be too bad.

One can hope, at least.

umber vivuus 12b 🥀 [dars]
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headache. dars Sept 20, 2017 12:32:54 GMT -5

Post by umber vivuus 12b 🥀 [dars] on Sept 20, 2017 12:32:54 GMT -5

Jack
Reeves

i'll use you as a warning sign
that if you talk enough sense
then you'll lose your mind
i'll use you as a focal point

He was once a boy who felt lost in the noise. White static screams told him he was no good, and maybe he was. Maybe he would grow up gray, like his parents had, like his sister would: bland, boring. Cogs in a machine designed to clip the wings of extraordinary people, make them think living in a cage was the best life they could hope for.

And then he was saved by tightropes and rings of fire, and after the crowds began to know him by name, he knew he would never go back.

Fingers traced the outline of the buttons on his shirt as he got dressed. Performance day. He'd brushed his teeth twice that morning, checked his hair every time he passed a mirror. Clock struck noon and he decided to go and do a run through with Sully before the audience started taking their seats.

He unzipped his tent, closed it back behind him, arms folded over his chest as he smirked at Diego. The two had been recruited around the same time, and Diego had taught him that all magicians were good with disappearing acts. Always on the run, always looking for something that Jack seemed blind to, he had noticed. He couldn't help wondering if, maybe, it was to make up for something missing within themselves.

"Wanna see his newest trick?" Jack asked, leaning against the railing.

"Sully, dinner." His lion's back arched, top lip pulled back to show off razor sharp teeth. He began crawling up the platforms, prowling toward Diego, who stood at the top. A low growl accompanied the snap of his jaw, just six inches away from the boy's feet.

"Don't worry," Jack called, "He won't actually eat you unless he thinks you're hurting me." He licked his lips and formed a thin smile.

"Wanna come over here and punch me to test him?"

^{I AM A GARDEN OF BLACK AND RED AGONIES}

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headache. dars Sept 27, 2017 19:55:12 GMT -5

Post by Deleted on Sept 27, 2017 19:55:12 GMT -5

D I E G O.

We're born without expectations, I sometimes wish I could return to. That slate of existence untouched -- u n s c a t h e d, if only.

It's ironic, hating yourself, bitter taste of self producing sulfer; if anything I should be the easiest thing to love, correct? In theory, I'm all there is to myself - I can fix everything and nothing at the same time. Hand hovering between lion teeth, I've always like metaphors but there's nothing here, just myself and the lion who's never had expectations. He's never had,
anything

like me.

At once the lion grows closer, a quick snap at my feet and I want to say I feel panic, king of the prairie and I've never felt afraid, not here. I protect myself - at least - collapsing onto the platform and I'm quick, I've never out ran a lion; if I die today is it truly worth it? I clutch my heart, am I ready to die? I say yes, my chest panics a different request- oh.

It's Jackson.

Makes sense.

Lion and a magician walk into a bar -- both worth too much money.

Maniac flutter, I catch words. Unless he thinks you're hurting me, lips parted, "if only." It's hard to smile, but I've been worse off -- commands fallen on deaf ears. I've always loved a challenge. The lion sits again, I breathe easier; I've nearly killed myself on accident. Dare devils and I'm scared of hell itself?

Maybe my expectations are too high.

"Wanna come over here and punch me to test him?"

"Want to come and get him?" I don't hesitate, not like caliber should, I do not laugh. I do not apologize, there is no trust for Jackson; if he can docile a lion what can he do to me? Ha, "I don't think my career can risk it, haha." What's a daredevil to a lion?

Afraid.

I guess that's the punchline here.