Gardenia Sinnoh | District Eleven {FIN}

"You must dress and act your best, my dear," my mother would always say. I would nod and tell her that I'd do what she told me. I've always lived by the rules my mother gave me, even after her death. When she passed on and joined my father in death, I knew that both of them were still watching over me. I barely knew my father. He had been deceased most of my life, ever since I was two years old. My mother was around until I was ten years old, however. I loved her dearly, and the three years without her so far have proven mighty difficult.

"I'm afraid this is goodbye, my precious girl," were my mother's final words as she faded out of the realm of the living. I imagine that these days, both of my loving parents are observing as I live my life with my new adoptive family. As an only child, I've been left without any remaining loved ones, but I was taken in by the Sinnoh family. They requested that I drop my original last name so that I didn't seem too different from the rest of them. I don't mind being different, but I did as was requested of my anyway.

The Sinnoh family is rather large, some of us being adopted and others being blood related to the family's mother. Mr. Sinnoh passed on last year, leaving Mrs. Cynthia Sinnoh to care for all the children she'd taken in on her own. Out of all of the siblings I live with in this new household, I've grown closest to Fantina. She's only a year older than I am, and she's very sweet, but also willing to express how she feels. If someone else is mean to me or her other siblings, she'll tell them off, making sure that they know how much she cares about us.

When I look at myself in the mirror, there's one thing I hate about myself that makes me feel a bit outcast from the others in the Sinnoh household. The others all seem so perfect to me in appearance, but I'm the one with bruises, cuts, scrapes and scars from all my adventures outdoors in childhood. The only one similar to me in this aspect is Roark, as he's a rather outdoorsy kind of guy. I still don't feel like I'm the same, though. Some days, I feel like an outcast, no matter how much Fantina tries to make me feel included.

Some days, I don't think about the fact that our family is so large. Aaron, Bertha, Flint and Lucian are the only children in the family who were born into it, whereas the rest of us, Roark, Fantina, Maylene, Wake, Byron, Candice, Volkner and I, were all adopted. With twelve children in a household, it can get rather hectic. There are occasional arguments, but as a rather reserved person, I generally stay quiet when they occur. I do have flaws in my personality, though, of course. Everyone does. I just feel that I may not make mine as visible as some people do, as I often try to hide my emotions.

When it comes to negative things about myself, I try not to talk about them. I am, however, someone who gets rather jealous. If my siblings are getting more attention than I am, I often feel that I'm being left out. Sometimes, my jealousy even turns into anger towards myself and makes me think that I'm not good enough. This will often make me shut myself in the room I share with Fantina until she comes in to see what's wrong. I feel that she's the only one who can really comfort me.

Not many people in District Eleven seem to have pets, but I have one that I've had ever since I was very young, and the Sinnoh family allowed me to bring him with me. I have a small turtle that I call Twiggy, and I love him a lot, since he reminds me of my birth parents who are no longer alive. Hopefully, he will be around for a long time, as I don't want to lose him. I'm also afraid of losing any of my new family members, as I care about them all greatly.  Even though I call my adoptive mother by her first name, Cynthia, which she doesn't mind, I still don't want anything bad to happen to her. Just because I don't feel the same connection to her as I did my mother, doesn't mean the love isn't there.

In my free time, I enjoy music. I often can be seen playing on my acoustic guitar that was a gift from Fantina for my birthday one year. I feel spoiled in this household. Even though our family isn't poor, I still feel that too much money gets spent on me sometimes. Regardless, I am very grateful for it. I just hope that my presence doesn't cause them all to lose money. I would hate to ruin the family. That would be the type of guilt to plague me forever.