cherryblossom }} delilah x hayden jb!blitz

boys workin' on empty
is that the kind'a way to face the burning heat?
i just think about my baby
i'm so full of love I could barely eat

The moment I see her, I miss her. My fingers are aching and I don't think I remembered that she has longed to be in my place. And I couldn't tell her I was grateful every time her voice lost itself among the crowd, swallowed up by those so much bigger than she. Because I am selfish, not a career at heart because of just what it would mean to be thrown into the chaos for which we were bred- without her. I have found a solace in my training, honing simple skills and so swallow my words and smile although her congratulations feel empty, settling upon the surface like olive oil over water and the residue it leaves upon my tongue is just as unpleasant.

We celebrate mortality, of the trauma and death and destruction that awaits but I find myself more anxious about waking up without her. I was born a protector, gruff words and agile limbs- there is no fear to be found behind my skull and so I worry that without me the wolves will rip her to shreds. Laughter like bells bounces off the walls and none of this is as shiny or glorious as we had been promised.

She tells me that she'll wear my clothes and I almost say I'm glad they'll smell of her when they bury me in them. Instead I shake my head, eyes glues to the carpeted floor and I wonder how many dead bodies sad upon this stool like eye. With their heart still beating and their fates sealed and it has been fourteen years since victory had settled upon these makeshift thrones.

I will be different. I will come home. But if I don't there is no way that I will leave things like this. We cannot be so superficial, all these years absolutely devoid of meaning and fear is culminated upon the tip of my tongue, too large and too bitter to be swallowed tonight. Words better left unsaid are not safe when the reaper's scythe is pressed to my throat, blood beading prematurely upon the gaping wound. "Delilah." I murmur, standing slowly and placing her palms within my own.

I pull her closer tonight, hand on her waist to keep her there and my eyes are wide and full of fear. "When I come home, it will be for you. Because of you." And I smile to myself because the words are true. "Everything I do is for you."

"But are we destined to leave this story without an ending?"

when my time comes around
lay me gently in the cold dark earth
no grave can hold my body down
i'll crawl home to her

[ dars ]