passing by {cato | jb blitz}

My heart gallops, pounding against my chest wall as I'm led away from the crowd. A door flies open, and I'm shoved inside. The lock clicks, and I'm staring at the wooden door. It's quiet, my ears are ringing, and nothing makes sense. Years ago Esme sat in one of these rooms waiting for someone to come and say goodbye. And then Bailey walked inside a few years later, but I never got the chance to see her - I was busy rotting in a cell.

Perhaps the rooms differ from male to female; I wouldn't know.

Not that I care.

It wouldn't make a difference if anyone came inside. I can't handle the tears as they hug me saying goodbye. I don't want to look in their eyes. Each time I try, I see the disappointment. I'm not the son they wanted me to be.

Doesn't matter.

I know Ma loves me more than I give her credit for. I've watched as she cried herself to sleep because I've made more mistakes than I care to admit. Many relationships have been broken -

and it's all my fault.

Everyone should leave me behind and forget I exist. It's better off that way because nobody will mourn me when my face lights up the sky. I'm as good as dead, and I doubt anyone will even care.

A shaky hand runs across the smooth, wooden chair. I don't belong here. This room is pure and whole, and I'm just a sinner passing by.