my nama SANTA

hello rooko merry christmaso! it is i, ur... favourite? kiwi zo. 
i hope nobody told u it was me otherwise imma have some WORDS... but for now, here are some nice ones!

merry xmas my dude!!! i am so fortunate to call you my friend. you are talented, hilarious, compassionate, insightful, brilliant, creative, bright, talented and an all-around absolute lad. thank you for being in my life, for bringing joy to my online world and all of our friends' too. you deserve the world. i hope u have a relaxing christmas filled with good food, great beer, and all of your favourite people.

so enough of this boring stuff, GIFTS!!!

so first off i made u a lil signature graphic! ayy!




second of all, i got site peeps to fill out a fun survey that will hopefully make u laugh!!!

who r u

kiwi

jeffica

Frankel

ghostyyyy

Dars de la bonbon

Kouseiiii

Emsrocks

Python

zori

briar

Kay

kari

Ele

describe what u think england looks like (soz brits LOL)

its grey its got lots of fields and old buildings, bricks and TEA and dr who and i luv it

a boot

Terrible. Dismal. Poor.

snowy af but usually greeeen

Bunch o’ snooty ass bitches

Bloody cold

Lots of rolling hills

a smelly boot that kicks cold tea-lovers in the ass

tea and crumpets and what what what and the queen

lots of tea, clocktowers, pugs & english bulldogs, cold af, english muffins

a boot with some frilly bits broken off

Uhhh isn’t it like a lopsided pentagon lookin thing

A soggy loaf of bread that’s been dipped in tea 

describe football (the british version)

the beautiful game

u grab the egg with ur hands and run to the endzone while men in tights try to hug u really tight

Terrible.Dismal.Poor.

kinda like golf but with goals not holes but also with slide tackles

soccer except for sissies!!!!

Broken legs and diving

11 players from each team run around a field kicking a checkered colored ball trying to score a goal by kicking it into the net

www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAhEFuq62-I

men with high socks kicking around a not-football shaped ball

lots of lads kicking a ball around, lionel messi???

You can't use your hands but your head is totally legit because who needs braaaaaaaaaaains?

It’s like soccer right?? American football is better that’s all I’m sayin

You kick a little boy around for no apparent reas

who are the bristol rovers?

the most bomb ass football team in the uk

is that a pokemon?

15th

literally the best Bristol team anyone thinks any different are an absolute madman

Probably a soccer team

Some team rook likes idk

A football team?

idk but i dont trust them

a delightful pair of puppy dogs

a SOCCER team probs

the qtiest dogs ever (besides my own, duh)

That’s a fantastic question. are they like the game red rover?

Oh holy shit I dunno

describe what u think bristol looks like

skins?

a slightly smaller boot

river side absolutely lovely

Okay so like.... I picture like max’s building and then two every two blocks, there is another Brit from the site and they are all like “omg yeah if only we lived CLOSER :/“ and also Emma Watson probably shows up sometimes for tea parties? Idek

Pretty! Cos my main G is there but also cos I've been there

Lots of train stations and fancy buildings

www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHpf9ZzQHfs this even tho i think this is scottish

it has buildings

bristles, some cool british looking towers, small roads w small cars, snow???, people walking with trenchcoats and accents

Bris...tol. Hmm. A bristly toll house!

A smaller version of Lonon because that’s all I picture when someone says England I’m trash lmao

Is that like a scrubby brush

are u brit squad?



describe rook in 3 words

my nama jeff

he is alright

Chill. Beard. Lad.

an absolute madman

My nama jeff

Memey banter lad

Sophisticated, awesome, superb

happy sat fat

tough, loyal, creative

amazing, spectacular, inspirational

direct passionate eloquent

Best meme poster

My best friend

how does rook like his tea?

b1???
idk but 4D is literally just milk and that makes me unreasonably angry
A3??
2D
With the blood of his enemies and 25 year old whiskey. And just a pinch of sugar.
I'm assuming 3B
All of the above
2C???
between 2 and 3
3rd one in the 2nd row
spilled
Def not a lot of cream but not none either. Imma go with 2B. Do you even put cream in tea?idk
You can’t drink tea unless it’s in 4d otherwise it’s flat or just projected

gimme ur best british meme

*posts pic of myself*

WHERE'S THE LAMB SAAAAUUUCE?!

ZOE I am on MOBILE no one REAPECTS THE MOBILE USERS.

Max

nama jeff

yes

Jeffe Nam

NAMA JEFF 💯💯😂😂👌👌

jama neff

No, it's mex

jama nejj

jefffff

NAMA JEFF

Yo sleepy what's up homie??

Yee

Yeet


okay now that mess of memes is out of the way....

and FINALLY...

I WANNA BUY YOU SOMETHING!!!

i wasn't 100% sure what to get you
so if you could pls send me your paypal
i will send u a couple of quid
so you can buy yourself somethin nice this christmas on me!

also i will not take no for an answer
so i'm gonna bug u until you send me it c: c: c:

MERRY CHRISTMAS ROOK! ily my dude.