the other side { destrii + baz }

After going off on Zagreus's parents for not caring about their own son's death, things had been pretty tense for me. I wasn't sure what to really say to anyone. My own family members seemed to be avoiding the topic. Well, at least for the most part. It didn't take all too long for Baz to mention something, which, I suppose, in a way, I appreciated. It was nice to have someone who cared about how I was doing, even if most of the time I didn't care how other people were holding up.

She asked me if I was okay. The honest answer was no. I wasn't okay at all. Zagreus was dead, and I didn't even say goodbye to him before he left. None of us did. Did that mean that I wasn't the only one feeling this guilt? That had to be true, right? I didn't want to be the only guilty one. I was never one to feel guilty over things, so why now?

"No, Baz, I'm not okay." I told her this with a relatively monotone voice. I couldn't let her see the rage building inside me at the mention of my well being.

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197 words
calla

Baz told me she wasn't okay either, but I could already tell. By the way her voice shook, it was obvious. I suppose I'm just better at hiding my emotions than she is. That's always been a talent of mine. I don't generally reveal to people how I'm feeling. Although, I guess that when you're related to someone and you care about them, you may be more likely to open up. Maybe that meant that I should open up, too. She did seem genuinely concerned about me, after all.

When Baz made a comment that she thought not being close to him would make it easier to let him go, I shook my head 'no'. I didn't want to think that it would be easier if I just hadn't known him as well. If we hadn't been as close, would it have been easier? Perhaps. I just didn't want to believe that that was the case.

"I wish it were easier, Baz, but I don't think that's possible for us." When I said this, I wasn't able to keep my voice as steady this time, and it wavered a bit.

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188 words
calla

When Baz made her next remark, it got me thinking. She said that perhaps he was happier now. It was really quite possible. If an afterlife of some sort did exist, in any form, it was possible that Zagreus was happier there, as it meant that he didn't have to deal with the horrors of his parents. They had wanted him to volunteer, were happy when he got reaped, and didn't care when he died. He was practically bred to die in the Games. His parents had a child for the sole purpose of wanting a victor in the family.

"I- I guess he could be," I said. I had stuttered! Why was I such an idiot? I shouldn't be getting emotional enough to be stuttering! Destriianatos Moon is the name of a confident individual, not a nervous wreck who stutters when something is bothering her the slightest bit. What was going on with me?

"Do you know how his parents treated him? I'd want to get away from that, too, if I were him..." I didn't know if Baz had ever really heard how Zagreus's parents treated him. It wasn't exactly a public thing. I knew, though. He'd shared it with me on multiple occasions. The first time had been when I saw a red mark across his pale skin from his mother's hand.

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225 words
calla

My cousin had always been a sweetheart, but I don't think she completely understood what was going on. She told me that she didn't know if those things that were rumored about Zagreus's family were true, but that if they were, she understood why he'd want to leave. I knew they were true.

"You know how he'd come by to family events and he'd have a red mark on his arm or his face or something sometimes?" I asked Baz. "That was courtesy of his mother." I hated to talk about it, but it was true. Zagreus was abused by his mother physically and emotionally by his father. There was nothing good about his home life. That's why he spent so much time with me. It was an escape for him to be with someone that cared about him and that he cared about in return.

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146 words
calla

Our family was a mess. There were a lot of us and none of us were really quite normal. It seemed as if Baz was one of my more average cousins when it came to personality. She was sane, from what I could tell. Her brother, C'rizz, thought he could talk to ghosts. That's part of why there's no way I wanted to talk to him about all this. For all I knew, he'd try to talk to a ghost version of Zagreus in front of me. I didn't want to deal with that if I could avoid it.

Bazima asked me if I'd talked to anyone else about what happened, but I simply shook my head 'no'. The only people I'd really talked to were Zagreus's cruel parents, Lorenzo and Charlotte, and that didn't go over well. It mostly just involved yelling and a punch to Lorenzo's face, breaking his nose.  Therefore, I didn't count that as talking it out with anyone. This was the first true conversation I'd had about his death since it happened.

"You're the first one I'm talking to about it." My voice was slightly more steady this time. I let out a slight sigh, and looked at Baz. "I just have too many regrets about it, ya know? We were close, but I never even visited him in the Justice Building before he left.

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230 words
calla